Ice Ice Baby

I return to London today. Enough said. I dah terperangkap kat dalam opis since Sunday night and nasib baik ada spare baju and toiletries bag, dapatlah I shower walaupun dalam ketakutan kat dalam unit tu...ada satu malam yang hening tu I terdengar pintu shower room tu kena bukak, nasib baik I belum bukak baju lagi..kalau tak, haruslah jadik mangsa sexual assault para wargatua yang otak nya semoneng ittew...seramssss!!!

Misi pertama setibanya I di London ialah pergi mem visit Makcik Pakiam tu. Yelah..kan ke janji nya nak jumpa hari Selasa tu hari, tapi bila dah adverse weather and jalanraya dah ala-ala Ice-Ice Baby, maka terpaksalah di postpone kan.Anxious jugak le I...bukannya apa you all...orang yang emotionally unstable ni bukannya boleh dipostpone/reject sebarang aje. Unlike Kiah, kalau I main cancel-cancel appoinment pun, sehabis kuciwa pun..dia akan hantar message berbunyi 'pant*t ko Esah'.And after that we both are back ber french kissing semula, sambil memakan tahu sumbat buatan air tangan Kiah. (isk..lain macam je bunyi nya..tahu sumbat...air tangan)

Makcik Pakiam..woohooo...if you must know Manal...muka macam Cheryl Tweedy, tanpa make up.Muka and lengannya berparut..ni musti perbuatan laki Paki nya dedolu.Ye lah, bukan ke kahwin paksaan...dah le jadik mangsa penderaan seksual,physical and emotional pun ye juga.I was reminded not to ask about her child (apparently dia ada anak lelaki dgn boifren omputihnya 10 years ago) sebab their separation was very traumatic.Isk...yang nulis report ni pun, separation mak dgn anak kan mmg la traumatic nya...especially the mother is the dependable one bukan bangsa beranak and go, main buang kat mesjid,jamban or kubur.

I can imagine masa jaman mudanya, haruslah Makcik Pakiam ni is the type yang every Friday will paint the town red, bangsa Asian yang repressed sesangat takut kat Mak Bapak bila dok rumah.See, pengajarannya...jgn strict menggila dgn anak-anak. I dedolu pun, ayahanda strict jugak...tapi alhamdulliah, my bonda pun levelheaded...walaupun teruk dimarah Ayahanda, kami dibenarnya main sampai ke petang dengan syarat musti balik sebelum Ayahanda balik...kalau tak nanti Bonda takleh tolong kalau Ayahanda rotan.

I tell you, bila I jumpa my patients, bila dah habis meeting...masa I sensorang balik naik bus or tube, I terkenang betapa malang nya nasib orang lain and betapa selfishnya dok mengompen nasib I lah yang paling malang githoo...hard done by kalu.Ada orang dari kecik sampai besar dibuang MakBapak, ada yang dikerjakan dek Bapak sendiri...kesian sungguh.Dah le otak pun tak berapa nak develop, lagi kena aniaya dengan next of kin.Walaupun I ni takde jiwa keibuan macam Kiah, sedikit sebanyak, jiwa kekakakkan (ni buka sistahood TKC ye?) I akan terasa jua.

Makcik Pakiam is a heavy smoker...dalam sepital takleh isap rokok so I pun ajak jumpa bawah pohon jambu githoo..dalam sejuk-sejuk.Makcik Pakiam tak cakap banyak at first and I dok berhempas pulas cari jalan tu break the ice.

'I used to smoke too, you know'

'Really? You don't look it'

'Well, not addicted thankfully but smoking cryptically. My parents are very strict'

'What are you, Chinese?'

'Malay and Chinese mixed...I'm from Malaysia'

'You look too young to be a psychiatrist'

'I'm not...I don't want to be...too hard work'

'So what are you? Are you one of the nurses?'

'I am a Social Worker, like Joseph (bukan nama sebenar)'

'So you're the one that going to get me re house...yeah the nurses told me'

'I might be, but we going to do something together for 15 weeks, before Dr.BrokBrek (pun bukan nama sebenar) discharge you'

'What work? I'm not crazy you know...I just do drugs and some shit. They made a mistake keeping me here.But it is better than being homeless.Lucky I didn't get AIDS'

'Do you still drugging, if I may ask?'

'Just skunk...for fun'

'Cool...I never tried that'

'You're stupid...(she laugh)'

'Well...sometimes.I'm sorry I can't see you the other day.I was stuck in Dorset'

'Yeah..well'

'But I will see you again next Thursday'

'Okay...will I be out by then?'

'No, I don't think so. I'm not in charge for that. I'm only here to give support so that you can move on from here.It may take a little while'

'Shit...those hospital fuckers'

'So, shall we see each other next week? Thursday'

'Okay...can you bring me a packet of fags...the black packet superkings'

Hantu punya Makcik Pakiam.Belum apa-apa dah nak pow duit I mintak rokok!!!!