The Story About Jarum In The Peti

Wahhh....bunyi posting Kiah tu macam I ni kejammm kannn?  Tapi tak apa. Being 'pressed' at all time at work makes me an 'expert' to take control.

Sebagaimana Kiah selalu kata yang I dibuli secara emosi oleh MC, begitulah juga I cakap pada dia yang I sebenarnya 'sanggup' dibuli.

Kiah always remarked that I have, sort of adapted the matsalleh way of self-expressing. Ohh, I don't have to travel all the way here I tell you bcos Appa I dulu adalah seorang loyar tak jadi yang sangat terrer 'mengorek' kata-kata dari mulut anaknya. And he had to do that sebab anak2 nya ini adalah mangsa bully yang berkaliber. Appa can spot a liar just like that, though I like to differ some bit of this sebab ada benda yang I dah tipu dia, sampai sudah pun dia tatau---not something that I am so proud about but the truth will not hurt him, ini alasan kukuh ku. Hiks.

Komunikasi adalah sangat penting, Tuan dan Puan. I banyak baca dalam pesbuk sang-sang isteri mengeluh kesah yang centa dan pengorbanan mereka sebagai isteri, bibik dan drebar kepada rumahtangga adalah tak dihargai oleh laki-laki mereka tu. Must I tell you, most women who opted to membuat statement keluh kesah cenggini are not 'friends' with the husband or memang laki diorang tu idok le IT Savvy ada account pesbuk (but with jantan janganlah ko percaya...entah2 ada 3 account tapi taruk nama bunyik macam siyal like Panah Arjuna lah, Pahlawan Melayu lah, Ustaz So and So lah--dan ini digunakan untuk menjejak kasih kekasih lama sambil mencari kawan pompuan baru) ---so macam mana lah the laki nak tau kan? Dah le memakai pendekatan telepathic tak berapa nak jadi, secara bertulis tapi tak kena baca...so, baik aje kau tulis mesej dalam botol, so, dengan izin Allah, maka dapatlah mesej tu kepada si penerimanya. Nak tunggu kat death bed kang macam cerita Usop Aslam pulak..lagipun, women are more incline to pesan abang jangan abaikan anak2 read jangan kawin lagi when they're so near the clock.

Alasan si isteri yang konon nya hard done by tu, the suami 'must' know. Well, maybe he 'knows'. You know lah, some people can be selective in their understandings. But there's large percentage of them who really don't know, unless you tell them.

Then, telling and expressing yourself is another. The guilty party, or we think he/she is can be very, very defensive. Begitu jugalah dengan kita. When we feel we have been wronged, maka alasan kita ajelah yang kita rasa betul.

I was very upset with someone recently. So upset that I consider telling her off dengan mengeluarkan apa yang terkumpul. I did many favours. But the fact is, I will myself to do that favours. Memang orang tu ada mintak, but of course, kalau orang mintak 5, presentation kita musti 10 (ini idea bangang I sebenar nya) and I really took pleasure 'pleasing' people. Tapi..dah nama nya pun orang, kan? Mana yang set-set hati kaudu, selagi boleh ditonyoh, maka tonyoh lah. I remember writing about her few postings back. I was so hurt. Even MC is considering telling this person off. But I spotted my weakness that this person can use as her defense. So, I don't bother. I best ignore her. Bukannya taknak gaduh but realising I pun ada meng contribute dalam hal ini yakni membenarkan diri digunakan, so I best learn my lesson quietly and move on. But then, this person upset me again and this time, I took it so personal. But telling her off is still something I'm considering. But with her voluntary information kat pesbuk menceritakan betapa malangnya nasib dia etc etc on something totally unrelated to me, I pun memikir...okaylah, Allah dah balas. Now in my book, she can go mampus! I will not have time for someone like that anymore.

These women who moan and groan, its either hoping their husband to turn 'mithali' dgn doa-doa mereka kat pesbuk tu. I must also consider those yang memang tak reti nak bercakap, alasannya, takut baru start dgn 'abanggg'...dah basah kuyup and the more their 'abang' ridiculed them. 

Problem with us is...we always take everything, personal. There's nothing personal about telling people what you want from them. Masa tgh bercenta, we refrain ourselves from addressing the annoying facts sebab kita takut orang tu lari. Then we take it so personal that if we did say that, yang of course lah tak sedap didengar, maka dgn tak semena-mena si boipren tu akan marah or kuchiwa, then dgn bangang nya we turn the table back to us and think, look..I've upset him. I'm bad.

Same goes dgn laki kita. Problem dalam bilik tido...nak dicakap kang, hasben kecik ati. Bila dia kecik ati, kita pun rasa bersalah (apakah?) tapi bab hasben mengecikkan ati kita, you rasa ada sekelumit rasa salah ke dalam diri nya? Harammm! So we thought, okaylah..takyah cakap..simpan ajelah jarum emas tu didalam peti. Tak pun, tukarkan jarum emas tu menjadi tulisan yg boleh kita tulis dalam pesbuk. 

Having spent years working with the disabled, words that come out of my mouth means exactly as it is.I may have to choose my words carefully sebab some people at my receiving ends takde capacity nak menerima benda2 yang berat dan tajam. 

Wife often felt bullied yet they are too 'arrogant' to fight it off. Well, it doesn't have to be wife. Kita ni pun, kalau rasa terguna mulalah bertingkat2 self pity, kan? We use the excuse 'taknak gaduh' as to why we didn't confront our bully. Again, we like to misuse the context of 'gaduh'. Gaduh to me is when people takes things reallyyyyyy personal. Like, kita marah kat laki kita pasal dia lupa birthday kita. Ke boleh focus pasal the little picture here is, lupa birthday. No, we tend to want to hit where it hurts like, ohhh kalau besday orang lain cepat pulak you ingat. Of course lah sipolan yang dah le pelupa, rasa bersalah pastu diganyah lagi ego nya dgn tuduhan yang dia lagi ingat besday orang lain. Tak ke punca gaduh tu?

We don't want to 'bising2' because we don't want 'gaduh'. But why must we intend and foresee to 'gaduh' when the motive wasn't that?

So yes. When I feel strongly about something and when the people I speak to really worth my while, I tend to communicate as clear as I can. It may as well upset them but if they're upset, to me, it is some understanding issue that they need to work on. Want to stay forever Mr or Miss Nice pun adalah cabang arrogance jugak. You don't want to tell the truth bcos alasan you, you don't want to upset people, but really is, you want to look and be nice and stay that way. You collect points from being nice...walaupun ada orang sakithati yang terdevelop dari sifat2 you ni. So, you're not that nice after all.

I have ignored some friendships. I have very good reasons to do this too. Their either one nasty piece of work or just one who is not worth my time. 

Kesimpulannya...kalau I cakap A, makna nya A. If I think you're wrong, I'll tell you...tu pun if I really want to see you again. And if salah...I will mengaku. Tu saja. 

Tu la pasal tak ramai kawan....kan, Kiah?