Ish...the pickle situation people like to get themselves into kan??? I am talking about me la...udah-udah la nak cakap pasal orang (buat masa ni) because kenkadang kita perlu jugak muhasabah serawak diri..sebelum orang lain yang memuhasabahkan untuk kita...ye lah, the advantage of blog ni, kalau kita tak cakap pasal kita, kalau kita tak sembur diri kita...kita guna boleh gunakannya untuk sembur orang lain kan??? Pastu dah penat menyembur naik hangin..bila orang ugut nak saman atas ketidakbenaran fakta, tahu pulak takuttt kan? Ate..I ni idoklah nak menyindir sesiapa...but kenkadang mulut yang nak menyembur pun berpada-pada lah...lainlah kita ni LLB macam Desert Rose tu...
So I have now decided to meruntuhkan Registrar Office (so Kiah, aku tokleh lah nak kata meruntuhkan mesjid, sebab..registernya dulu pun kat Registration Office) but sebab process runtuh-meruntuh ini adalah agak lama...tu belum termasuk kena jugak mendapat persetujuan untuk sama-sama meruntuhkan bangunan. In my case, orang tu taknak meruntuhkan Registrar Office, chenta katanya (harkkk tuihhh!!!) dan katanya, kalau I sampai hati sangat nak jadi demolisher, so I pi lah buat sensorang. Tak ke dia tahu...(ni sebab dia tahu lah ni) if you decided to demolish the building alone, you had to wait at least 5 years uncontested, before the majlis peruntuh bangunan meluluskan usul peruntuhan tu. Matilaaa ko tak paham Nenek Penne....
I am not in a hurry to membina bangunan yang baru officially. Although rasanya sekarang adalah happy sikit dari dulu (mana ada masa ber chenta tak happy, kan?)
I saw a suggestion to flog my wedding band at ebay ke hapa..just in case I do not want to have it abandoned in my jewellery box. If you must know, masa si dahmati tu proposed kat I and gave me a ring, idok la mahal mana pun, but love and feelings and gestures matters masa tu...I masih simpan lagi cincin tu sampai ke hari ni. Ada jugak buat adegan buang luar tingkap but I have always buang cincin tu kat tempat yang I senang jumpa (so bila hati sejuk, pi la kutip balik) But now, I think cincin tu dah hilang dengan sendiri nya...tak tahulah pulak if that thing has evaporated into air and fly to heaven joining the owner.
I hated him at one (two, three and four) point. The damage and the scar, and how I am only be able to love only one man is all down to him. All the time I wasted...air mata jangan cakaplah kan...penuh kot tasik Tangkuban Parahu tu.
I am not sure if we are able to hate people we once loved easily. I thought I hated MC...but when we meet, all the hidden feelings keluar dengan mencurah-curahnya.
Being with F was not a mistake. Even if it is, I chose to do it. I had to leave as things was too unbearable for me to put up with but love is still there. The capacity of the love, may have changed but it is still there.
And there's always the guilt. For me is to go ahead making commitment walaupun masa tu dah dapat rasa akan adanya perperangan. But, marriage and relationship is a gamble. We hope that love for each other will ease the forseeable difficulties. And hope is still a hope. People said that those who divorced, love themselves more. So you should.
I like to remember the one I once loved. There's always something about them that you're able to remember that brought smile to your face...walaupun mereka buat joke bangang. Memories are hard to erased. So I akan ingat, se lahabau-lahabau nya perangai F...yang selalu tak bagi I makan KFC dalam rumah nya, or cakap melayu bersosek-sosek gossip dgn kengkawan I dalam rumahnya...mengutuk I betapa bangangnya I sebab I puasa...dia jugalah yang pernah menerangi siang dan malam ku pada hari-hari yang nak menapas pun susah...picked me up when I was down...apa-apalah that a lover should do.
So that wedding band..will not going to go anywhere....and if dia mati (which is quite likely...sebab dia dok kata dia depressed sokmo je sekarang ni) maka cincin ini lah yang akan dimasukkan dalam peti dia tu dan dibakar sampai cair.
When you (think) you've known someone too well...it will be too hard to even hate them. Tapi, mengata, mengata jugak kan, Kiah.
So I have now decided to meruntuhkan Registrar Office (so Kiah, aku tokleh lah nak kata meruntuhkan mesjid, sebab..registernya dulu pun kat Registration Office) but sebab process runtuh-meruntuh ini adalah agak lama...tu belum termasuk kena jugak mendapat persetujuan untuk sama-sama meruntuhkan bangunan. In my case, orang tu taknak meruntuhkan Registrar Office, chenta katanya (harkkk tuihhh!!!) dan katanya, kalau I sampai hati sangat nak jadi demolisher, so I pi lah buat sensorang. Tak ke dia tahu...(ni sebab dia tahu lah ni) if you decided to demolish the building alone, you had to wait at least 5 years uncontested, before the majlis peruntuh bangunan meluluskan usul peruntuhan tu. Matilaaa ko tak paham Nenek Penne....
I am not in a hurry to membina bangunan yang baru officially. Although rasanya sekarang adalah happy sikit dari dulu (mana ada masa ber chenta tak happy, kan?)
I saw a suggestion to flog my wedding band at ebay ke hapa..just in case I do not want to have it abandoned in my jewellery box. If you must know, masa si dahmati tu proposed kat I and gave me a ring, idok la mahal mana pun, but love and feelings and gestures matters masa tu...I masih simpan lagi cincin tu sampai ke hari ni. Ada jugak buat adegan buang luar tingkap but I have always buang cincin tu kat tempat yang I senang jumpa (so bila hati sejuk, pi la kutip balik) But now, I think cincin tu dah hilang dengan sendiri nya...tak tahulah pulak if that thing has evaporated into air and fly to heaven joining the owner.
I hated him at one (two, three and four) point. The damage and the scar, and how I am only be able to love only one man is all down to him. All the time I wasted...air mata jangan cakaplah kan...penuh kot tasik Tangkuban Parahu tu.
I am not sure if we are able to hate people we once loved easily. I thought I hated MC...but when we meet, all the hidden feelings keluar dengan mencurah-curahnya.
Being with F was not a mistake. Even if it is, I chose to do it. I had to leave as things was too unbearable for me to put up with but love is still there. The capacity of the love, may have changed but it is still there.
And there's always the guilt. For me is to go ahead making commitment walaupun masa tu dah dapat rasa akan adanya perperangan. But, marriage and relationship is a gamble. We hope that love for each other will ease the forseeable difficulties. And hope is still a hope. People said that those who divorced, love themselves more. So you should.
I like to remember the one I once loved. There's always something about them that you're able to remember that brought smile to your face...walaupun mereka buat joke bangang. Memories are hard to erased. So I akan ingat, se lahabau-lahabau nya perangai F...yang selalu tak bagi I makan KFC dalam rumah nya, or cakap melayu bersosek-sosek gossip dgn kengkawan I dalam rumahnya...mengutuk I betapa bangangnya I sebab I puasa...dia jugalah yang pernah menerangi siang dan malam ku pada hari-hari yang nak menapas pun susah...picked me up when I was down...apa-apalah that a lover should do.
So that wedding band..will not going to go anywhere....and if dia mati (which is quite likely...sebab dia dok kata dia depressed sokmo je sekarang ni) maka cincin ini lah yang akan dimasukkan dalam peti dia tu dan dibakar sampai cair.
When you (think) you've known someone too well...it will be too hard to even hate them. Tapi, mengata, mengata jugak kan, Kiah.
2 comments:
semua pun tajuk update, sampai tak tau, betul ke update yang ini ialah betul2 update, bukan update yang sebelum :)
Kah kah ...si Ayunasia ni telah menyuarakan isi hati aku ke atas tajuk2 entry ko Esah, tapi kerna chentaku padamu aku cakap dalam hati jek, so tq ye Cik Ayunasia ....-larikkk-
_patah balik_ sebelum tu, jgn dibuang cincin itu, meh aku tolong simpankan, aku ada peti besi
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