About Me

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Reminiscence...or Buang Masa?

Seperti yang dah diplan dari semalam (dan aku sampai ber hallusinasi disiang-siang hari) I berbuka puasa makan Angry Double Whopper Burger King. Dengan gigihnya, I pi google Burker King yang terdekat and I summoned my colleague pergi beli, and gave him extra money so that he can get one for himself. Siap cakap pulak tu...boleh tak you jalan balik slow-slow, so that you can reach back here (my opis) by 8pm, and it is just nice for me to buka puasa. Wah..salahguna kuasa sungguh!

Sambil makan, sambil lah baca blog kawan-kawan. Terbaca pulak cerita orang tu yang makan KFC masa buka...and from there I gather, orang tu memang tak masuk lah KFC kat London yang femes sebab 'ketakhalalan' nya. And here I am, berpuasa cam nak pengsan..dengan terlupa sahurnya semalam...isk..tak lupa sebenarnya...cuma tak upaya nak bangun pukul 3 tu, tuptup buka posa makan Burger lembu katok ittew?

Well, what can I say kan? Duduk kandang lembu yang dikatok, makan daging lembu katok lah jawabnya.

Through friends recently, I got in touch with this girl I used to go to university with. But we lost touch after I balik Malaysia and thanks to Pesbuk, there she is...looking just the same, with now dah anak dua.

Soklan pertama yang dia tanya....did you marry that guy? (she was referring to my ex yang dah mati tu)

I cakap..nahhh...didn't work out in the end. Makcik dengan concern nya, shame...you guys went out for a while and seems like a lovely couple. What went wrong, may I ask?

I don't know..he is not into me after all I guessed.He married someone else. Considerately, Makcik ni taklah menanya lelebih...agaknya dia takmau mengorek luka lama kot.

But that actually got me into thinking the whole night..Kiah oii (isk..kalau masa yang terluang tu dibuat mencari pahala semayang terawikh, takpelah jugak kan?)

Was it a wrong decision not to take him back? I think I'm that sort of when faced with dilemma, I run screaming into the arms of a wrong decision. I made a crappy choice too many.

Everyone has their ONE. He was mine. And in the tradition of the ONE, he ripped out my heart and fed it to me, rendering me jaded and misshapen.Unfortunately, no one I've loved since has compared, meaning I don't harbour enough hatred to ignore his memory. When we were no longer together, strangely, I learnt more about him. The 10 years relationship was based on pure friendship, shared admiration towards Frasier, shared loves towards RomCom and meehon goreng.

I remember that we can talk for hours and hours about things that don't matter but we never really figured out how to properly talk to each other, and many things went unsaid.

He left me for someone else...and I swear to benci sampai mati. But love is strange. I can never cast him out and I could never accept him as genuinely malevolent.

I have to painfully admit that, there was a big tinge of excitement when he started making contact.I have exhausted his letters, emails and photos. There was a time that his sudden reapperance has turned me from relatively sane to bin raiding, possible restraining-order-obsessive.

I tend to be magnetised to unavailable people.The moment when I forget that I was once in love with him is beautiful. Truth is, I don't seem to be able to forget him.

And my only saving grace is that he is dead.

p/s...I wonder why I can't get into my comment box and respond to your comment..sori ah!!!! But thanks and I really appreciate it. I also want to comment kat org tu punya entry..the similarity between her boob and notebook, but takleh masuk. I wanted to say..yeah..is the size.One each..meaning you have two notebook. Erkk....takpe...ni dah dekat kol seblas malam.

Thanks people.

8 comments:

cik syahira said...

salam ramadhan..
:)

Anonymous said...

mak ajah
how do you know that HE IS the ONE?? maybe he is the not-saposed wan? sebab obviously hangpa mmg takdak jodoh kan? so far i tot, 'the one' patutnya bertemu jodoh juaa. walau apa rintangannya
tapi ada gak org yg jodoh kejap je, pastu berjodoh dgn org lain pulak, murah rezeki ke byk nor 'the one's depa?

edelweiss said...

i mula berfikir .....cinta itu???

thanks mak aji yer

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

Mekasihhh Cik Syahira....

Anon..hello.The One sometimes not always ended up the hubby or the wife, but still remain the same person we crazy in love with.Jodoh ditangan tuhan and jugak tangan orang.Sometime we marry the person because of the compatibality and other thing, but not the one that we really 'in love' with. But if you did married your 'ONE', so congratulation.

Edelweiss..cinta itu? cinta apa ya???? Cinta pokok pisang ke?

Anonymous said...

eh akak... i pernah jer okeh makan di nandos di windsor. nandos yang halal hanya ada di bayswater yang merembes keberairan itu sahajork. tempat lain tidak ada yang halal kalau tak silap. tapi masa di windsor tuh akibat kebuluran dan kelaparan yang teramat sangat maka tader dah kira halal masa tuh akibat kelaparan dan situ jer yang diyakini okay.

ha ha ha ha.. tak bek tau mengentry kan saya. saya adalah terasa perasaan perasan. kah kah kah. matiklah saya macam nih.

ehem akak, ada beza ker lembu katok, lembu renjatan letrik dan lembu potong?? rasanya tak kut, tapi kalau lembu pendek mestilah rasanya lain! hiyaa!!! ha ha ha ha.

-undang luak rembau-

Ina said...

Dear Makji,

Back to your title, I think 'buang masa' aje kot teringat kat your ex tu. Masa hidup dia nyakitkan hati you, sekarang elok la sedekahkan al-fatihah aje. Eh, jahatnya aku ni hari ni...hehehe

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

Atok Paduko Undang...
saya hanya membuat reference aje..yg selobeh eh, sayo bocakap pasal sayo seniri..yelah, sebagai seorang muslim yg berposo, walaupun melambak kodai kaplam jua ayam & burger yg halal, lombu katok tu jugak lah yg masih nak dibuek pemueh napsu makan...

Kenapaan kecepatan keperasanan? Enzim-enzim kelaparan naik ke kepala ke? kahkahkah....

Ina..tak jahat...nasihatttt yg mulia tu.

Anonymous said...

kah kah kah.. sementelah kawan kawan (yang dah t ak jadik kawan katanya) ramai yang terdiri dari orang yang kecepatan perasaan perasan maka daku jua terus menjadi begitu. kah kah kah.

enzim2 di perut okeh jer.. tapi air lain pulak yang naik ke kapla... perlukah menjadi kaplam macam nih??

-undang luak ghombau-