About Me

Wednesday, July 23, 2008


It is very hard to talk to people who would not listen.When they do listen, they only listen to themselves.

Lately ni, I am seriously thinking about quitting my job.I have done it for almost 8 years now (eh ye ke?) and I seriously can't see anything that can excite me anymore.(I must also tell you that this is the longest job I have...)

I was reading somewhere about 'It is OK for you to stop now' and I'm sure that article is not only talking about job. We always think that the route to success is determination, but now I'm not sure. This is not (hopefully) a dead end job.I can always be re trained in something else but the question is, do I want to change? I keep on thinking that I couldn't leave...for security reason.I've been in a relationships that I knew weren't going anywhere, but I couldn't bear to end them or admit that I'd made mistake.I'd just pretend it was a phase and wait for the other person to finish it with me.

I think I know some people who are like 'that'. My mother for instance (cess, tak baik sungguh I...just because my mother ni sungguhlah isteri mithali) and how I am so sorry for her 'inability' to walk away.As much as I am this wannabe daredevil and kunun nya a 'risk taker'...like my mother, I secretly wish that things will work out eventually....sabar,sabar and sabar.

I'm sure we will have experienced the same inner or batu-batu api bertauliah lain nagging sensation that we should have seen things through, felt the same guilt at leaving something undone, or worry that others will see us as irresponsible or weak for not finishing what we started.But why even we know it miserable, we find it difficult to quit?

We labour under the misapprehension that if we try hard enough, we can have and be whatever we desire.I desire the life I'm living now......and I'm sure quite a few will envy.I keep getting message from old friends that wish they have never left UK and stayed put here.They moan about their life with laki and anak-anak, feeling trapped and very homicidal.

Well, it is much beter having a laki (walaupun perangai puaka) and anak-anak and nearby families and friends than being all alone with friends yang boleh bilang dengan jari.(manalah kawang ku maybank yang janji manismu bagai nak hantar tuna chilli dalang ting tu?)

Ohhh...I'm so fed up

(to be continued...ceh, cam baguih aje)


Manal said...

Haros la nak turn a new leaf or the grass is greener on the other side?

Makji, i think our sanity is worth on top of everything. Bottling up things or forcing ourselves to just move on with the job we have less passion about will only lead to further predicaments. BUT then, maybe makji boleh keep the job 1st while applying for other vacancies? at least you still get your monthly salary kalau still no reply from prospect companies/institutions/etc. Lain la kot2 makji nak try MLM or something that promises residual incomes like song composing, novels, movie scriptwriting and so on. Or maybe u wanna start your own company? For eg: Stress Management course by Makji Esah, limited to 10 person per session.

Stay cool....

captainlukman said...

kan sapa lah budak tuh kan, maybank sgts, pastu bukan tuna je, rokok pun dah jadi abu kot kecut lama-lama kan.... hahaha

Anonymous said...

makji esah, you ni dah kena syndrome 'compare mengompare' life sendiri dgn orang lain ke? ini macam kalu susah hidup nanti sebabnya kita manusia biasa ni mmg le asik tak puas hati dgn apa yg kita ada...bak kata omputih tu, life is always greener on the other side, tapi sebenarnya bila kita dah pegi the other side tengok2 grassnya sebenarnya green pucat je, dah le tu penuh dgn taik kucing, bau hancing segala..ha camana??

take care esah

JoKontan said...

Makji !

Take a Break laa.
Take a Breather.

Gi la Panjat Gunong ker
Redah Guron Sahara ker
Belayar ker lautan.

Macam we ols yang dah ner-anak 'nam nii susah tau, nak buat mender tuu.

Have Fun Yaa