I was so engrossed on work, I forgot that London Transport operates on Sunday Service time on New Years day. That mean bus,tube and train will run like sejam satu. Believe me, you do not want to wait at the bust stop/platform that long in this weather.So I decided to sleep in the opis.
What the hell was I working on New Years day? My work problems doesn't identify bank holidays. In fact, work problems balloned up during holidays. One can decide to kill oneself on Xmas Day, New Years Eve and New Years Day. Any moment can be a distressing one, which ever way the wind blows.
For someone who can be very much affected emotionally, I can only function when my mood is okay.Mood affect work.Work affect people. I have to be extra careful.Like this one.
Someone rang to wish me Happy New Year late last night, all the way from KL. She also told me that she decided to leave her husband. She just can't find it in her heart to love him anymore.
This friend of mine, we go back a long way. From boarding school. We were not that close at school but we happened to study in the same university in the UK. But still not close. Well, knowing me, I can't get close to anyone because I just don't know how to. Friendship need commitment. You need to call, write, visit and what ever necessary to show them that you exist and make them feel that they exist. I do this once in the blue moon and by the time the next blue moon approaches, my friend probably forgotten who am I.
This friend of mine will email me every 3 months just to check out how I get on in a very unintrusive manner. We got on well, electronically.
Last year she discovered that her husband main kayu 3 behind her back. With his secretary. She wrote about how she wasn't shock of the discovery because her intuition as a wife are so strong that she feels husband mind are elsewhere most of the times. She were just waiting for him to come clean. He didn't. He keep up the act for about a year until nature runs it course. Rahsia terbukak depan mata.
Being a woman, she worried about her kids and her family reaction. She kept this quiet. Husband said sorry and of course, the jantan, like any other middle class man with plenty to lose if this goes out of hand, decided to discontinue his 'mid life crisis' fuelled affair. Like any other man, he react like nothing happened.
I never offered her comforting words during her turmoil. I don't feel that she needed it. I keep telling her to look after herself and to do what she think best for her and her kids.
We never talk about her problems after that. She shut herself off from the outside world. I noticed this and tell her to take her time to grieve properly. Why grieving? For the lost of trust and maybe love, I told her.
She rang me. Holding back tears, she said that she will tell him that she is leaving him. She's done the grieving and need to move on.
My first word of comfort is 'be strong'. She cried when I said that. Because she was crying a lot, I asked her to ring me when she ready to talk (if she needs to talk) I somehow know that she is worried about the kids.
After 24 hours, she still didn't call. I decided to email.
You can't plan for all this to happen. It takes courage to decide what you just decided. If it feels right, just follow your heart. What ever the consequences will be is something that you need to look forward to. You have to trust your judgement and learn to live with it. It might not be nice but it is something that will make you stronger and possibly, happier than you are now.
My thoughts are with you.
(And kepada jantan puaka laki kau yang tak sedar dek untung tu, biarlah dia menangis menjilat lantai...padan muka nya!!! Make sure you take him down to the cleaners)
****This was written on the 2nd of January. My other work commitments made it impossible for me to finish it on time. But what the heck.****
What the hell was I working on New Years day? My work problems doesn't identify bank holidays. In fact, work problems balloned up during holidays. One can decide to kill oneself on Xmas Day, New Years Eve and New Years Day. Any moment can be a distressing one, which ever way the wind blows.
For someone who can be very much affected emotionally, I can only function when my mood is okay.Mood affect work.Work affect people. I have to be extra careful.Like this one.
Someone rang to wish me Happy New Year late last night, all the way from KL. She also told me that she decided to leave her husband. She just can't find it in her heart to love him anymore.
This friend of mine, we go back a long way. From boarding school. We were not that close at school but we happened to study in the same university in the UK. But still not close. Well, knowing me, I can't get close to anyone because I just don't know how to. Friendship need commitment. You need to call, write, visit and what ever necessary to show them that you exist and make them feel that they exist. I do this once in the blue moon and by the time the next blue moon approaches, my friend probably forgotten who am I.
This friend of mine will email me every 3 months just to check out how I get on in a very unintrusive manner. We got on well, electronically.
Last year she discovered that her husband main kayu 3 behind her back. With his secretary. She wrote about how she wasn't shock of the discovery because her intuition as a wife are so strong that she feels husband mind are elsewhere most of the times. She were just waiting for him to come clean. He didn't. He keep up the act for about a year until nature runs it course. Rahsia terbukak depan mata.
Being a woman, she worried about her kids and her family reaction. She kept this quiet. Husband said sorry and of course, the jantan, like any other middle class man with plenty to lose if this goes out of hand, decided to discontinue his 'mid life crisis' fuelled affair. Like any other man, he react like nothing happened.
I never offered her comforting words during her turmoil. I don't feel that she needed it. I keep telling her to look after herself and to do what she think best for her and her kids.
We never talk about her problems after that. She shut herself off from the outside world. I noticed this and tell her to take her time to grieve properly. Why grieving? For the lost of trust and maybe love, I told her.
She rang me. Holding back tears, she said that she will tell him that she is leaving him. She's done the grieving and need to move on.
My first word of comfort is 'be strong'. She cried when I said that. Because she was crying a lot, I asked her to ring me when she ready to talk (if she needs to talk) I somehow know that she is worried about the kids.
After 24 hours, she still didn't call. I decided to email.
You can't plan for all this to happen. It takes courage to decide what you just decided. If it feels right, just follow your heart. What ever the consequences will be is something that you need to look forward to. You have to trust your judgement and learn to live with it. It might not be nice but it is something that will make you stronger and possibly, happier than you are now.
My thoughts are with you.
(And kepada jantan puaka laki kau yang tak sedar dek untung tu, biarlah dia menangis menjilat lantai...padan muka nya!!! Make sure you take him down to the cleaners)
****This was written on the 2nd of January. My other work commitments made it impossible for me to finish it on time. But what the heck.****
2 comments:
setuju dengan tindakan itu...lebih baik hidup sendiri bahagia dari hidup berdua tapi macam neraka...
macam amaran my wife...kalau ada perempuan lain...pandai pandai lah lepaskan dia sebab dia tak ingin konek yang di kongsi...*pitam jap...
BTW...selamat hari jadi..
Ala2 karipap di luar nampak lazat dari dalam rumah sndiri ye ke makji?
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