About Me

Friday, April 07, 2006



Some women swear that men don’t speak their language (were they perhaps thinking about gobbledygook?) Most would agree that men are on a ‘different wavelength’. Often not as articulate in expressing their emotions, men demonstrate a knack of coming out with statements about, or critisism of, their partners which they don’t really mean. Or do they?

Talking things through is the most important thing you can do in any relationship. It helps to eradicate misunderstandings, which when left unspoken, often lead to resentment and eventually distancing. Or maybe ‘bercerai’ even. Last month or so, I read this news about this divorcing couple on Harian Metro. In Muslim marriage scene, the word ‘cerai’ is ‘hantu’. Well, ‘cerai’ actually mean divorce. Telling your wife that you intend to divorce them is like asking her to see ‘hantu’ or ghost. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it and if you did say it, you marriage will dissolve like that soluble paracetamol that taste like shit.

Well, continue. This man, apparently bengang with his wife.Gaduh punya gaduh, the C word ‘accidentally’ (kononnya) ter ‘come out’ from his mouth. So, after few days (hmm..maybe after days without sex, because when you’re divorcing your wife, no conjugal activity is allowed) he realised that he don’t mean it and coaxed his poor wife to reconcile. The drama is now being explained in the syariah court to the Tok Kadi (muslim marital case judge) who will then decide. The wife took the opportunity to teach her husband a lesson and told the Tok Kadi that she apparently have had enough of him telling her to do this and that, calling her a ‘sundal’ and badmouthing her mother, and she demanded a public apology (in the court room lah) So this poor sexually deprived man eventually admitted his mistake and apologised. Eventually, the Tok Kadi ruled that the marriage is still intact, simply because the man didn’t think the C word through. How stupid is that. But I think, the Tok Kadi simply decided that because he didn’t want to add on to the statistic of the divorce rate (or simply saving that man from further mental torture of not able to bonk his wife)

In all this relationship scenarios, fear, insecurity and temper caused women to be oversensitive; while the men played into these relationship fears and frustrations by being over dramatic. Some relationship follow behavioural patterns and the same communication problems will crop up time and time again.

Kesimpulannya, married couple (if not careful) can become alien with each other. You will become ‘lost’ in your own relationship. How sad is that? Verdict? There’s always an option to become ‘the gay in the village’. Go on, Daffydd Thomas.

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