Office, Paris & The Apprentice

INSET - My Favourite Karen Bremner Bits From The Apprentice , She Shouldn't Have Got The Sacked !!!

Bottom Pic - Versailles 'Alamak Besarnya' Garden - Free Entrance
















Greetings humanoids!!! I have not been around the blog for a while. I missed me. The 'wannabe creative writer' me. I was in 2 difficult locations in my life. Office and Paris. The belle de la France is still the same. Still preserved in the same way, only this time, less 'tahi anjing'. I guessed that the old attitude of the dog walker to happily let their dogs fouling every path they walked on, have moved on. Good for them. Speaking of moving on, Mohamad Al Fayed at long last decided to do the same. It’s in newspapers in France (not that I know how to read it) that he finally sold the apartment that contained the last memory of his late son. He preserved every bit and bob in it, including the indigestion pills and the tiny bits of Dodi’s loafer’s tassels that dropped on the floor. He had kept it all. Poor old rich man. Memory is too much perhaps for him to keep clinging on. Maybe for a bit of profit reason, at least.

Syed Ahmed got sacked in the end after clinging on to his lies defence for so long. Sir Alan Sugar looks hesitance. His 2 aides are more than willing to give Syed the boot themselves. It’s like sacking Jo Cameron again.

Honestly, I’m not very keen at all on Syed. I’m sure not very many of us are. He may possessed all the criteria in your ‘I don’t like this kind of people’ list. Arrogance, to name a few. My partner finds him interesting and was very sad that he got sacked by Sir Alan. Having watching the boardroom drama, I agreed that it is a tough competition. Ruth is too precious to let go for now. Syed is just too risky for his business. It’s a good thing that he didn’t get the job with Sir Alan. He has built the reputation of ‘lie-to-survive’ in a national television. People will now think twice to do business with him. All porkies!

But on the other hand, besides his many ‘attributes’, he is this one of a different kind of person that in a way, very unique. Better than the ‘2 head snake’ Tuan Le and Miss Moan-To-The-Max Sharon.

Laconically, when many of us are more than happy to judge this obstinate and obtrusive self made millionaire (he claims that he build a 13 millions business), Syed Ahmed is very unique in his own way. The life he had made the man he is. And one good thing that emerged from his many arrogance talks is that he learned a lot and want to keep on learning. I don’t think this is arrogance.

So, who do you think will win? I secretly hope is Ansell.

* Tahi Anjing - dog poo

Train chat & Terrorism

On my way to Worthing (somewhere in Sussex) on a train (to be precise) opposite us, sat quietly this middle aged man with his book. I really have this very special respect for those who find reading on a moving vehicle bearable.Reading itself (for me) it's like massive hardwork.I can only tolerate Gossip column..or maybe some really,really interesting piece.Reading on a bus, train or any kind of public transport is a huge effort.Maybe not for those who are born to read.

Back to this man.Our seat are sidely facing each other, and I can always see who is he sitting with.Me and my usual self, doing my usual routine.Ignoring every soul on a train, including the one I'm travelling with (sorry babe!) Enjoying the scenic route.Battersea Dog Home..

Suddenly, I heard this husky voice with a very strong essence of Arab loudly accosting this bookreading man and I could swear that the tone of his voice had vibrated my ear wax.'Is this train going to East Croydon?' I can't hear the reading man talking back but he must have answered him and that loud man helped his bum landing itself on a seat opposite that reading man.

The not-so-arab-looking man start chatting away, telling this reading man that he is on his way to see his grandaughter in Croydon..blah..blah..blah..start writing a card for her and at the same time moaned about how expensive the card had cost him.Erkk!!

He proudly announced to that reading man (and to us too) that he is writing half of the content in Arab language.This reading man politely replied that he thought the writing looks chinese and asked that loud Arab man if chinese letters and arab looks similar. To my annoyance, Arab man replied 'Oh no..Chinese only goes upside down, like this and this (he puppeted the handwritting with his hand going up and down) and arab's writing is much more nicer.Yeah,yeah..

Arab man also told his reading guy that his name is 'Bush'.What now ? They went on laughing..and I heard he said 'Oh..I had that name even before Bush and his father was born'.Whatever.

After that he went ' Oh..I don't like him killing muslim people.His bad.I'm a muslim.A good one not the fanatic one,but killing people is bad.Is in the Quran that you're not suppose to kill people.Muslim or not Muslim'.

This time, my other half looked at me and smile.I know what that mean.I looked at that Arab man.I wonder if there's a slight wonder in his dick-sized brain..if in Quran, killing people is forbidden, why was that 4 Muslim man, decided that..on the name of Allah and Quran, bombing the tube and killing 52 innocent soul is okay.

In theory, this 4 'self-professed martyr' Muslim that voluntarily perished themselves and the other innocent and the 'Kaffir' Bush, is no difference is it ? The lesser of two evils.

Confidence Tricks

INSET - The amount of time I spent for gathering my confidence to be assertive at work today.




























The idea of an assertiveness course brought a clear image to mind: a room of people, quacking in their jackets, cowering in corners and avoiding one another’s gaze – some kind of the AA thing (Apologetic Anonymous).

But as I walked into the training room, I found something very different. Instead of a quivering mass of humanity, I came face to face with a group of intelligent people. There’s a face of one unlikeable soul too. Why is she always in the same course with me?

The facilitator was babbling non stop. As the majority of this course participant, in fact all of them is female, the facilitator who is female herself used this opportunity to make some generalisation about men. ‘There are more men now that have started to see the attractions of an effective personal business style without sexism or condescension. For once, I thought she was talking about gay men. ‘It’s the difference between aggression and assertion’. Personally, I don’t like the word ‘assertive’. It sounds aggressive in itself. We want to be able to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty, to communicate constructively and to deal with the conflict. We want to be able to ask the question that everyone else in the room is too scared to ask. Hmmm...no wonder I’m here, mate.

Looking around in the room at the start of the day, I felt the apprehension of 15 people marooned on a desert island – they’d rather be somewhere else. What’s keeping me there is the assorted sandwich on that long table. I was rushing this morning; I didn't grab anything to eat. Luckily, the facilitator is an inspirational leader and it did not take long for the ice to break and the sense of camaraderie to develop. With the aid of posters, marker pens and diagrams we were soon discussing different method of behaviour, how effective we felt we were at work, and whether we could give and take criticism graciously. We exercised and did a bit of role playing (I prefer to call it practising situations) and this, played an important part.

The most powerful lesson of the day is how to say no to people and really mean it. That made me think of how often I preface it with ‘I’m really sorry but...’ or ‘I would love to but...’. We were thought to say the word without squirming or smiling, without apologising or explaining the reason, unless it was professionally necessary. It took a lot of hard work, but by the end of the afternoon we were feeling a lot more positive about being negative. I can now stride confidently towards the tube, glaring at taxi drivers who dare to threaten my personal space.

I’ll certainly be putting it to test, my new assertive self to test. But, can I do it though?

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www.armada.com.my

Raja Bahrin, Jacqueline, Iddin & Shahirah..Their Love And Other Catastrophes

INSET TOP - SHAHIRAH & JPG.

BOTTOM - IDDIN,RAJA BAHRIN & SHAHIRAH ,14 YEARS AGO


It's everywhere in Australian and Malaysian newspapers.If I'm not mistaken, it came out on the Sky News too.How famous.Raja Bahrin (aka 'The Snatcher' by Australian press) has repeatedly asked the journalists (Mama Juwie and the angkatan sewaktu dengannya not included) to leave them alone.In the latest news that I just read 10 minutes ago,the pressure from the press has now affecting his father's health...I wonder if the press think that hounding this poor old man can be a good scoop.

Well, for those who tak tahu, this incident of snatching 2 beautiful young children was sooo infamous 14 years ago.I was 19 at that time and the story about Raja Bahrin 'menyelami lautan api' (or braving the sea of fire..hehehe) to kidnap his own children to stop their mummy to 'un islam' them had raised many eyebrows...and other brows too.To all Pak Haji's and Mak Haji's community, I'm sure Raja Bahrin won the utmost applaud for doing this right thing.All I can do 14 years ago is to just read the papers crucifying Jacqueline Pascarl-Gillespie or as I may address her simply JPG, who is a half Malaysian herself. (She's a daughter of an Australian woman and a Chinese fella from Penang)

Raja Bahrin himself is a man with some 'reputation'.But people do change.I'm very fortunate to have read 'Once I Was A Princess' written by JPG that was banned in Malaysia.To my surprised, I believed her.Really I do.All this years, I've been hoping that all 3 of them will be reunited.Whatever ways.Raja Bahrin is using the most omnipotent excuse.Well, as a muslim myself, I shall agree with him.But,they way I saw it is more too spite JPG off for leaving him.The rest is history.

This is what you called love.JPG have loved Raja Bahrin.Raja Bahrin at that time cannot lose face being defeated by JPG.And because of that, he earned that short time heroic publicity.Good for him.I was close to vomit when read 'Oh,I promised their mother that they will be reunited one day'.Promise my foot.

If I am Raja Bahrin (it's my fault though that JPG left me because I 'kahwin lain') what I will do is, okay..travel back 14 to 15 years back..Like this, Yas.Okay, I married another woman.What the hell..because I can.I'm a muslim man and the most important thing..I 'anak Raja'.You can't take it, too bad lah.Let's come to an understanding..you can have them. As long as you make sure that they remain muslim and I can have access anytime I like.Because, I can afford the flight, because I anak Raja.Easy ? If that were me.

* Anak Raja - Son of a king.

I also learnt that JPG has now remarries.Some Cocaris guy (ishh..nama macam lipas) I can only imagine that the stress has taken its toll on her marriage to that Gillespie man.

It may look like I'm taking JPG side rather than Raja Bahrin.The fact is, I don't really care.What I do care is the children.The first few years without mummy must be a murder.Especially for Raja Shahirah.

What I have learnt from this 'once triangle now squared' saga or 'The Recalcitrance Of The Two Ex's' is patience.Sabar itu paling penting, quote Wan Zaleha Radzi.JPG's patience.Patience will pays..and the reward, even after 14 years is therapeutic.Better than EuroMillion Rollover.

Cat Talk & Pontianak

INSET - The Bestest Hideout In My Flat


Me and my usual 'anti social' self went into hiding (in the bedroom, of course) when the flat is packed with my flatmate families that came for visit today.I managed to accidentally eavesdropped some bits and bobs..especially when they're discussing about some cats.When they went, I asked what happened with the cat in question.My flatmate told me that her mom's cat cost her £200 on vet.Some cat ey?

Today I heard 'Ibu saya kucing nama Monica gila'...a blatant translation of 'My mom's cat is called Monica and she's naughty'.Which is to me sounded very cute with extra confident.Not everytime you can hear orang putih cakap melayu. This 'orang putih' also learned the meaning of 'zakar' today. Alamak..(malay rendition of oh mother)

* Zakar - Men genitals

Whilst in hiding,I watched "Pontianak Sundal Something Something" that I downloaded from the internet,that supposedly is original - that doesn't carry any subtitles (told ya original sux). Which means, I'll have to depend on my long lost knowledge of the forbidden language to understand it. (*pontianak = it's a female vampire from Malaysian folklore)

Normally, I don't fancy Malay movies. I only watched 2 Malay movies last year and maybe 10 to 15 before in my whole life.

1) Gol & Lipstick - by that girl from 3R
2) All P.Ramlee comedies.
3) Anything with Noor Kumalasari in it - Simply because she gorgeous !! Innit ???

So, this "Pontianak Sundal Something Something"... big deal. Won a few awards recently at Spain. And I guess that's why I'm so eager to check it out.

My verdict ? Avoid this movie at all cost. Not worth even a pirated VCD. It's really 'sundal'. Which means, it sucks. The movie was edited in such a frivolous way that I do not even realize what the hell happened from one scene to the next. Gordon Bennet.

A few summarised comments :

1) The pregnant heroine turns into a pontianak when she was murdered (she's a heroine coz she's hot). But her maid didn't (she was murdered too). So, does that mean, if one were to be murdered when pregnant, she would turn into a super powerful pontianak ? And if that's the case, why Sharon Tate did not turn into a pontianak to smoke Charles Manson's ass ?

2) It seems like the pontianak (in the movie) was a crazy bugger. When she was resurrected as a pontianak, she goes around killing everyone except the villain who murdered her. Kinda ironic, isn't it ?

3) Alright, my perception of the pontianak is - a female vampire. And we all know that vampires suck blood. They're gonna need fangs to do the job. This pontianak sundal, she doesn't have any fangs (just a pair of great tits). She kills her victims by using her pair of wolverine like claws. Zweek zwekk ... scream... and that's it. Cheesy.

4) The design of the pontianak is also not very good. It's still the same old asian ghost design. Long hair, white robes and some very thick powder on the face. And in this movie, the pontianak even sported a pair of eyes with a very bad case of conjunctivitis. Makes my eyes watery at certain point.

5) I was confused who is who in the movie. The script was confusing. The flick was badly edited. Obviously, the director is a Stephen King wannabe. (and Stephen King sux).

I reckoned that the movie will be way better if it focusses more on the haunting of a pontianak instead of trying to cramp storyline, haunting and stephen king elements in it. But then, having won so many awards, how much better does the director wants to achieve ? Nevermind the awards, to my opinion, it's still a very badly done movie.

That is hardly therapeutic.So, what is then ? Comfort eating..

Lost

(INSET - THE TWO 'LOST' MAKHLUK ASING)

Some women swear that men don’t speak their language (were they perhaps thinking about gobbledygook?) Most would agree that men are on a ‘different wavelength’. Often not as articulate in expressing their emotions, men demonstrate a knack of coming out with statements about, or critisism of, their partners which they don’t really mean. Or do they?

Talking things through is the most important thing you can do in any relationship. It helps to eradicate misunderstandings, which when left unspoken, often lead to resentment and eventually distancing. Or maybe ‘bercerai’ even. Last month or so, I read this news about this divorcing couple on Harian Metro. In Muslim marriage scene, the word ‘cerai’ is ‘hantu’. Well, ‘cerai’ actually mean divorce. Telling your wife that you intend to divorce them is like asking her to see ‘hantu’ or ghost. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it and if you did say it, you marriage will dissolve like that soluble paracetamol that taste like shit.

Well, continue. This man, apparently bengang with his wife.Gaduh punya gaduh, the C word ‘accidentally’ (kononnya) ter ‘come out’ from his mouth. So, after few days (hmm..maybe after days without sex, because when you’re divorcing your wife, no conjugal activity is allowed) he realised that he don’t mean it and coaxed his poor wife to reconcile. The drama is now being explained in the syariah court to the Tok Kadi (muslim marital case judge) who will then decide. The wife took the opportunity to teach her husband a lesson and told the Tok Kadi that she apparently have had enough of him telling her to do this and that, calling her a ‘sundal’ and badmouthing her mother, and she demanded a public apology (in the court room lah) So this poor sexually deprived man eventually admitted his mistake and apologised. Eventually, the Tok Kadi ruled that the marriage is still intact, simply because the man didn’t think the C word through. How stupid is that. But I think, the Tok Kadi simply decided that because he didn’t want to add on to the statistic of the divorce rate (or simply saving that man from further mental torture of not able to bonk his wife)

In all this relationship scenarios, fear, insecurity and temper caused women to be oversensitive; while the men played into these relationship fears and frustrations by being over dramatic. Some relationship follow behavioural patterns and the same communication problems will crop up time and time again.

Kesimpulannya, married couple (if not careful) can become alien with each other. You will become ‘lost’ in your own relationship. How sad is that? Verdict? There’s always an option to become ‘the gay in the village’. Go on, Daffydd Thomas.

Love hurts

That's what people said.It's true though.Really hurts, especially when you can't do anything about it.You like someone,you got this tiny puny bit of inkling that they maybe like you back (hmm..I'm talking about taking a fancy of someone you can't get, someone for example..the other half of your best mate..someone's wife..things like that) But the fact is, they might not..I mean..might not fancy you back.Very serious unrequited love problem here.That my friend, is the mother of all hurt.Because it really can do your head in.It made you weak.It made me weak.

I'm off sick today.Sick of being very sick of my job.My work has proven to be difficult, yet important.. I find myself chuckling at silly things.That made me weak too.So, I decided to do something about it.I decided that today, I'll put aside my 'feeling' and try to enjoy my day..my off sick day.I travelled to Croydon.I did a bit of therapy, retail that is.My inner accountant tried very hard to stop me..that is where I got this picture of minus bank balance in me 'ead everytime I comb through the like of GAP,NEXT,ZARA..that lot.

In the end, I have to admit defeat to CK lady boxer.Well, in my defence, I need some cheering up.Was I cheered up ? Yes, I guess.But not as much as that bloody Calvin Klein man who just made £13.00 from this poor old me.

Well, sod that.The only good thing that came out of it is, it feels therapeutic.But only for few hours.I'm now back to being weak.Blame the unrequited love.

Eff it!!! I'm not going to work today

There's a day where you just had enough of everything...you see, I mean EVERYTHING!!! Every damn little thing that is just pissing you of completely.And that is today.So, after barely 3 hours stepping into office, had a bit of chat and chat with my boss (usual supervision session), send her to the door, wave goodbye (I'll call you soon when I'm about to end my life!) and that's it! I've got to do something..something that can put my mind at ease.I gathered my troop (2 of them today) did a bit of gossipping about HQ stuff..and after 15 minutes, hey guys..do you mind if I take off ? Really tak larat (in English..tired to an absolute maximum) They just said..okay boss,you look like shit anyway..(ftttt!!) you better go, boss.Ah, that is therapeutic! So, at 2.00 pm, I left the office, with a big smile...straight home.

I guess in life, we sometimes get caught up in Mike Baldwin's moment (those who watch Coronation Street, might be a good idea to pause and think of poor alzheimer-stricken Mr.Women Knickers Expert Baldwin) Yeah, we forgets everything, who we were, what we do, when was the last time we feel really happy and what not. The last time I was happy ? Probably last weekend when I did a full London Marathon - sleeping competition. I slept and slept and I even dreamt of the tired feeling of sleeping too much.Core.That made me happy.The long sleep it is. That is something to think about..people keep saying that sleeping too much can make you depressed.I said that too and of course, I said that to my lot just to keep them out of bed.But the reality is for me now is that long sleeps is really therapeutic.You should try it.