Okay, entry ni ditulis dalam jamban....the beauty of aipek2.
Kiah, seperti biasa selalu berburuk sangka kat I yang kununs nya I la yang menaiko Dr Lurpak tu menagih entry baru. Well, I was about to say the same, adakah kau juga telah menaiko Dr Lurpak supaya memburuku di Twitter supaya bawak2 menghapdate blog?
Moral dari story diatas dan entry Kiah is, Dr Lurpak tgh prektis nak jadik supervisor PHD yang keroje nya meminta-minta dan meremind-remind student siapkan assignment. Aiyoyo...enough lah with frens yg buat PHD ya? Dah naik sewel dah aku tengok...cepat2 lah korang bungkus buku2 tu dan kembali ke kejadian asal....iaitu menjadi manusia biasa yakni, menjaga makan pakai laki,anak dan diri sendiri, bergossip dan bershopping.
A week or so sebelum raya, I adalah berkecik hati dgn my Amma...but instead of telling her, I tell my akka ( oh she is, she is technically and officially a year older from me by year, jgn lah kau nak berfeeling tua sebulan aje ye)
Untuk menunjukkan lagi yang I ni tengah merajuk, I did not call my Amma on Raya day. Anak bangsa cilaka kan I? Not only I did not call her on hari raya, I stop calling her 2 weeks before raya. I feel like I must make a point, and get it across as clear as I can. Walaupun dipujuk2 oleh my sister dgn hint-hint, Amma tanya apsal kau lama tak call. My sister knew about the me merajuk and I know she will not mengadudomba and be telling my Amma what I am up to (merajuk)
So I rang Amma on the 3rd raya...she told me about her raya experience and how the whole house had been demam-demam, diselangselikan cerita gossip orang kampung. I said to her (about the gossip) alaaa, don't think like that about people, if you want to raya their house just raya. If they treat you bad, next year don't bother. One thing about my Amma, although she is not the making gossip type, she can easily get roped into one yang di orkestra kan oleh sedara mara kami yang sesungguhnya takde langsung good intention. Amma is the type yang selalu nak volunteer jadi mediator, konon nya but more than often kena tuduh jadi meddler. So I told her, just look after yourself and let others solve their own problem. But the line cut off.
The day after I called her again. Talk and talk again. But I can sense that she want to mengelak talking to me about stuff that had cause my merajuk ness, ohh my english ye Kiah. So then dgn takde lengah2, I started asking her why has she always think that I like to gaduh with my younger siblings.
Forgive me, but I really cant share the details here but enuff said, the conversation ended up with the typical middle child open ended statement berbunyi...okay, whatever I do is never right by you.
Since then, I feel really awful. I talked to my friends, the mature2 one lah. Of course nobody like to have that kind of conversation with the parent, but some thing need to be said and straightened up.
The agony of being the adult child is, when you grow up, no matter how much you look up to your parents, you will soon see that they have flaws and faults too. And that is something so difficult to stomach. A child, sister and brother often had to succumb to displaced loyalty.
I am sad because I made my Amma sad. But I know I am right. I want to call and say sorry for making her sad but I will not be stand corrected for saying my peace. That is because I know (and she knows it too...ye lah, Mums knows everything kann?) it is the truth.
I am sorry for all Mum who had no choice buy to get caught in the middle. I am sorry for all Mum who feel obliged to stand by the tak boleh harap lagi berperangai puaka child. But I will not blame any Mum for doing that. That is because it is what Mums do.
Okay, now I want to go and top up my Lebara simcard. I got grovelling job to do.
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