Update

Newly single man.

(Not Really) Single woman.

Don't really talk to each other at school...some 20 odd years ago. Once upon a time the Boyz II Men was dating hot-hot girl in school. He is a good looking man. Pandai pulak tu. Main bola lagi. What is there not to like about boy like that. But of course when hensem boy date lawa girl, angin pun macam dipam-pam lah kann? (Ke the not really lawa girl yang rasa inferior?)

Takpelah. Past is past. The hensem boy didn't end up with the lawa girl. Lawa girl went off with someone else, not so hensem+pandai boy but nice in perangai. They have 3 boys together now. Both doctors. Don't know where thet live because in school also the tak lawa girl and the lawa girl only hi, hi and babai only.

The hensem boy now not so hensem anymore.Perangai also not so hensem. Now not only he have air around him, he also have airs inside him, hence the increase in physical size.

The once upon a time hensem boy is also suddenly very 'friend-friend' with the tak lawa girl. The tak lawa girl of course sedarlah mana bumi dipijak disitulah dia bayar council tax, so although the hensem boy is friend with her, she still remember how 'sombong' he was 20 odd years ago. The tak lawa girl after 20 odd years idoklah timid macam dulu. Still introverted but when need be, can lah talk-talk friendly.

The once upon a time hensem boy at times get over familar, flirting-flirting pulak with the tak lawa girl. The tak lawa girl got rimas lah. But sebagai pompuan melayu terakhir, she can only do 'senyum dalam kerimasan' aje. Sometimes, she 'basuh' jugak...but betul lah orang kata, men got memory like a goldfish.

Yesterday, the tak lawa girl heard from the once upon a time hensem boy. Well, the tak lawa girl very busy kann? She got no time to keep in touch. Plus she only keep in touch with ppl she like only. But now and again, they exchange text and meet for coffee lah. But this year, belum ada coffee meeting lagi. The boy need to finish his study and the girl, banyak hal.

The once upon a time hensem boy send what the tak lawa girl see as inaprropriate message. So she answer back, she asked, you ni salah hantar text message ke ke? She doubt it lah. But the once upon a time hensem boy jawab macam chilaka, LOL. Kelakar lah tu kan? Cipan beranak kecik betul.

Nowadays, the tak lawa girl dah sungguh kurang vitamin. Selalu nya when she get that kind of message2 bodoh from the boy, she will tak layan or sums it up as message from jantan desperate Malaya terakhir. But today she thought she need to tell him something. So she called.

HELLO SEXY, the boy answered her call.

Eh, nombor phone sex 0900 ke yang keluar kat screen you?

The not so hensem boy anymore only mampu jawab hahahahaha aje.

See, I am only now going to say this once. You sent me message like that again, I bring it up with the MET. Its harrassment. You of all intelligent people should know that. Next time I think before you send any text message, just have a quick wank so that all the shit thoughts can be release.

AMBOIII KASAR NYA...

Okay. I cakap melayu ye..you.......he cut in quickly. Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I...this time I cut in. This conversation finish now. I got work to do.

Kiah, perbualan selanjut nya..setelah 3 jam...akan di bbm to you in due course. Not suitable for blog publication.

Cerita Hari Ini

Jantan Banyak Mulut

Dalam department I ni ada seorang jantan yang lagi 8 tahun dia boleh pencen. Lagi 8 tahun ye...kawan-kawan. 8 tahun bukan macam 8 bulan yang ko boleh pakai method penyedap ati...ohh pejam celik pejam celik. I ni pulak macam dah dapat pingat kat opis ni and this is bila ada je masalah dgn jantan ni, I akan disuruh selesaikan. I selalu tanya Boss I, why lah me? Boss cakap, you have higher tolerance level. Ish..ish. Speaking about tolerance level, orang selalu kata if mak or bapak you set-set penyabar, maka you akan menjadi penyabar juga. My appa is panas baran dan mulutnya kenkadang boleh megeluarkan kata-kata yang mencengkam jiwa gak. But I know from observation, he picked his receivers too. So not to all that he is who we know he is. Sabar is not inherent ye, and sabar is learned. So when there's so many dramas around you, you will pick what mechanism to use. With this man, mulutnya macam perempuan tua. Men, they're hardly good at things but when they do, they excell. Seriously..boleh dapat lebih dari Pingat Public Bank Bestari. I have been this man's boss for the last 5 years and the last 4 I have been desperately trying to 'move' him somewhere else. 3 times I succeeded but he came back and out of pity, I took him back. Was he good at his job? So and so. But the last few weeks I have witnessed how he 'terrorised' others with his mouth and I think, secretly, he does that confidently because he thinks he got me as a back up. But the problem with this jantan, once you point out the 'bigger picture', his defence mechanism is merajuk habis-habisan. So there's 2 in 1. Banyak mulut & kuat merajuk. Okay, he was never married. I don't wonder why. I lebih rela berkahwin dgn jantan ikan tuna beku dari berlakikan Woody Woodpecker. So, sesiapa yang sokmo mengeluh kesah lakinya tak cakap banyak, syukurilah nikmatmu ye? But my mission this week, is to give him  the big and small picture. The big picture is, mulut kau banyak and the small picture is, we can't cope. The work is stress enough as it is. So yes, I hope with all the luck in the world he will merajuk, dented his ego and go or, merajuk sehari and the next day, ikut aje arahan ku.

Jom Botak

So the uproar is now, people are upset with the TV station for 'sacking/suspending' that TV presenter yang membotakkan kepala nya in the name of charity tu. She said she did it to show empathy to cancer patient. TV station said she approached them first then they said, we support you but our viewer takdelah nak tengok pompuan botak ye kak. So, tungulah rambut you tumbuh balik. So now it seems she is aware of the consequences. She made the choice. Now, live it up lah kan? Takyah lah nak kata macam2 pulak. If the TV don't want pompuan Botak then its the TV's choice. I think I'll be more annoyed to read if some presenter takleh keluar TV sebab dia dah bertudung. But let's discuss her act of empathy. Everyone who has, cared or caring for people with this illness knows that the side effect of aggresive chemoteraphy is one might be losing all their hairs. This is the deal. Aruah adik I dulu cancer gak...tapi takle sempat dia nak ber chemo segala but I doubt that we seisi rumah will shave our head to show our support for him. If the idea came from SATC where Jarrod shave his head for Samantha, tu lain lah...he doesn't do it for money. He does it for her and the scene really shows that it was a private battle and he as her lover is going thru it together. Si presenter tu nak jom botak kan kepala nya, to emphatise who actually? Her cancer-stricken stepfather has died. Or, has she been paid money for that? I rasa lah, kalau you nak menunjukkan betapa prihatinnya you kat orang sakit cancer buat lah benda yang ada makna kat si pesakit tu. You botak kan kepala you, apa makna nya? That's it is cool to be bald or what? If the patient survive, I'm sure the hair will start growing kan? So, in support for people who lost their limbs, do we do the same? Or in support for the mentally ill, do we start talking to ourselves? Sungguh lah I tak paham...but I do hope she gets lots of money...because yes, we do need to work on cancer cure and the psychosocial care...the palliative etc etc.

Model-Model Facebook

I happened to have so many friends yang I think hobinya...selain dari mengambik gambar, dia juga adalah model dalam aksi photography tersebut. I'm not referring to them holidays shots ye. Tu sedap lah sikit tengok, ada background ada segala. But this is a shot of almost everything that is him/her. sampaikan tidur pun dia amik gambar dia sendiri pastu taruk caption...my beauty sleep. Every little pose captured pulak tu...okay lah, they may say that I jeless. Ye lah..I bukan photogenic kann? Satu dua kali dalam sebulan, okaylah...tapi kalau hari2 dah tu kau aje yang jadik model?

Lagi satu yang paling I tak larat is snap-snap gambar kahwin. Pun kalau you nak kata I jeles sebab I tak pernah bergambar pakai baju songket liplap bersanding, katalahhh. But seriously, wouldn't we just prefer the pengantin to look modest, shy and still? Nak ke kau tengok aksi tergolek atas katil, melompat dalam hutan and aksi2 pandang kelangit? Okay, this may sound very harsh ye...but I have seen photo golek-golek atas kebun bunga when both of the pengantin mempunyai tahap obesisti yang digeruni. Iskkk...(oops mulut I jahat) Okay, nothing against the pengantin ye..but no to aksi-aksi tak masuk akal.

Sekian.

Season Change...People Change

So kengkawan....mak dah balik melapor diri ke tempat kerja setelah dekat 2 minggu bergolek gelantangs kat rumah. Nak je rasanya ber chotti lagi...tapi dok kat rumah pun tak ber productivity but the good thing is, I banyak ngabiskan masa membaca buku. So kiranya, I ni kira dah sama level la dgn budak TKC tu.

So, now kita semua dah tahu yang abang Johnny Depp & Si Joe le Taxi tu dah pun berpisah. Ish..I lah punca nya uols...mintak mahap lah na. Bukan niat I nak mempuraks perandakan rumahtangga diorang tu. Yes, kesian jugak kat anak2 nya..but nak buat cemana kan? Orang kahwin lagikan bercerai....

So yes. I am for one kalau berchenta tu nak sampai mati...(memang orang tu dah mati) and pulak I tak reti nak beralih-alih angin ni. Kiah kata sebab I tak mahu diri I dicentahi. Entah la...betul lah kot. My logic mind will say, kalau hatiku sudah ada chenta, buat apa ku mahu mencari centa lagi. But reality is, orang pun macam kejap nak kejap tak nak kat I. Ni nampak dan rasa pada kasar nya. Dalam hati tak tau.

You know bila chenta tengah kuat bak container 40 footer, mulalah buat janji2 celaka like ----please don't ever leave me. Ohh..I will never leave you...sambung menyambung tapi maknanya tetap sama. Kau kata cinta, ku pun cinta, maka usah lah kita berpisah. Well, bercenta serupalah macam pilihanraya. Janji2 memang sedap dibuat.

But, kenapalah kita bodoh menbuat janji yang memang takkan kena tepat tu, walaupun berkempen jelajah janji ditepati sekali pun?

Kalau orang tu tak mati, dia berubah hati. Kalau hati tak berubah pun...at some stage, you get bored of your lover's presence dalam hidup you. This are case when ppl keep saying, sayanggg...bukan tak sayang...but sayang lain macam sikit. Enough to give yourself that permission to look for alternative.

So the perfect couple breaks up. Susah nak cakap...kalau kita nampak pada dasar laki bini tu macam bahagia je...semua dah ada, but tup2 one of them pulak rasa tak cukup.Once upon a time, I thought I was perfect. I wasn't the one who memintak attention and I thought I was nurturing the relationship to be the ideal one for me and the other half. Tak. One day, your other half can just tell you...this is not working. You may have seen the signs but looking back, the signs are just too many.

It is easy to say that, okay..things is not working and let's just...ohh you know, you pergi sana..I pergi sini.Pastu masih tetaplah nak buat statement nampak baik like...I still care about you. But no love. Love can just begone like that.

If we can be so openminded about this, then there shouldn't be a bitter divorce/separation etc etc. I read about Watie Elite's current hubs ex wife punya aduan. But of course reporter kenkadang ada jugak yang set2 batu api...pi pulak tanya ex bini orang tu soklan berupa apa perasaan akak etc etc. Tengah sakit ati, takkan lah dia nak nyanyi lagu Selamat Pengantin Baru lak kan? The ex wife, ohh, one bitter woman she is. Bitter because the ex left her and of course, not wanting to blame the love from the hubs is gone, she blames Watie. Mulalaaaaah mengungkits. I know his since he was young, kita susah senang bersama etc etc. pastu cakap, alah..dia tu bukannya hensem and tak berduit (err..you said this but kalau I lah, kalau dah laki tak hensem dan tak berduit dan dirampok pompuan lain---bukanke si perampok tu has done you great favour?) He is younger than you, maybe at some point in his life he loves the one that can 'mother' him and now, he wants an equal I lap yu Yu lap mi with someone else. Biaq la kann. Takyah lah nak declare kau nak bermusuhan pulak. Isk. Some jilted party suka benau bercakap banyak dan menjatuhkan air muka sendiri. Contoh nya si ex bini pak pulisi Gerak Khas tu. Kan ke tuhan dah tolong bagi lepas dari jantan tu, udah le nak meroyan dalam pesbuk kutuk gilpren baru orang tu and ungkit duit mas kahwin segala. Terimalah hakikat jantan yang dulunya berjanji setia nak jadi hero idaman Malaya pada you dah berubah jadik samseng Kg Dusun. People change..season change...(I sacrifice tomorrow just to have you here today....) Many years ago, somebody told me dia sayang kat . Pastu tetiba...tup! Hilang. Then after 17 years, nampak I kat pesbuk, jejak kasih and tetiba rasa, ohh masih sayang lagi. Went on a hellbent in pursuit. I never lost my feelings for this person..but of course in that 17 years, I need to get on with life.

We are in control of our feelings, if we want..we want. If we don't...we don't.

Nasib baik lah si Johnny dengan si Vanessa tu idoklah samdol nak membuat statement macam Lisdawati & lakinya..who declare that nothing can come between them not even the sun, moon and rain. Ye lah.

Kesimpulannya, if you want your relationship to work, then it will. Unless the other half is saying otherwise. Some of them stayed together because they are comfortable together, even chenta kurang pun. But that in itself is a manisfestation of yes, you still want to be together.

Some, belakang bini belakang laki sneak out and have an affair but still maintain a front together. Maybe they themselves know that although they like the grass on the other side, it may not be as greener as the one that they walking on now.

See, people are all in for taking risks, kan?

The Story About Jarum In The Peti

Wahhh....bunyi posting Kiah tu macam I ni kejammm kannn?  Tapi tak apa. Being 'pressed' at all time at work makes me an 'expert' to take control.

Sebagaimana Kiah selalu kata yang I dibuli secara emosi oleh MC, begitulah juga I cakap pada dia yang I sebenarnya 'sanggup' dibuli.

Kiah always remarked that I have, sort of adapted the matsalleh way of self-expressing. Ohh, I don't have to travel all the way here I tell you bcos Appa I dulu adalah seorang loyar tak jadi yang sangat terrer 'mengorek' kata-kata dari mulut anaknya. And he had to do that sebab anak2 nya ini adalah mangsa bully yang berkaliber. Appa can spot a liar just like that, though I like to differ some bit of this sebab ada benda yang I dah tipu dia, sampai sudah pun dia tatau---not something that I am so proud about but the truth will not hurt him, ini alasan kukuh ku. Hiks.

Komunikasi adalah sangat penting, Tuan dan Puan. I banyak baca dalam pesbuk sang-sang isteri mengeluh kesah yang centa dan pengorbanan mereka sebagai isteri, bibik dan drebar kepada rumahtangga adalah tak dihargai oleh laki-laki mereka tu. Must I tell you, most women who opted to membuat statement keluh kesah cenggini are not 'friends' with the husband or memang laki diorang tu idok le IT Savvy ada account pesbuk (but with jantan janganlah ko percaya...entah2 ada 3 account tapi taruk nama bunyik macam siyal like Panah Arjuna lah, Pahlawan Melayu lah, Ustaz So and So lah--dan ini digunakan untuk menjejak kasih kekasih lama sambil mencari kawan pompuan baru) ---so macam mana lah the laki nak tau kan? Dah le memakai pendekatan telepathic tak berapa nak jadi, secara bertulis tapi tak kena baca...so, baik aje kau tulis mesej dalam botol, so, dengan izin Allah, maka dapatlah mesej tu kepada si penerimanya. Nak tunggu kat death bed kang macam cerita Usop Aslam pulak..lagipun, women are more incline to pesan abang jangan abaikan anak2 read jangan kawin lagi when they're so near the clock.

Alasan si isteri yang konon nya hard done by tu, the suami 'must' know. Well, maybe he 'knows'. You know lah, some people can be selective in their understandings. But there's large percentage of them who really don't know, unless you tell them.

Then, telling and expressing yourself is another. The guilty party, or we think he/she is can be very, very defensive. Begitu jugalah dengan kita. When we feel we have been wronged, maka alasan kita ajelah yang kita rasa betul.

I was very upset with someone recently. So upset that I consider telling her off dengan mengeluarkan apa yang terkumpul. I did many favours. But the fact is, I will myself to do that favours. Memang orang tu ada mintak, but of course, kalau orang mintak 5, presentation kita musti 10 (ini idea bangang I sebenar nya) and I really took pleasure 'pleasing' people. Tapi..dah nama nya pun orang, kan? Mana yang set-set hati kaudu, selagi boleh ditonyoh, maka tonyoh lah. I remember writing about her few postings back. I was so hurt. Even MC is considering telling this person off. But I spotted my weakness that this person can use as her defense. So, I don't bother. I best ignore her. Bukannya taknak gaduh but realising I pun ada meng contribute dalam hal ini yakni membenarkan diri digunakan, so I best learn my lesson quietly and move on. But then, this person upset me again and this time, I took it so personal. But telling her off is still something I'm considering. But with her voluntary information kat pesbuk menceritakan betapa malangnya nasib dia etc etc on something totally unrelated to me, I pun memikir...okaylah, Allah dah balas. Now in my book, she can go mampus! I will not have time for someone like that anymore.

These women who moan and groan, its either hoping their husband to turn 'mithali' dgn doa-doa mereka kat pesbuk tu. I must also consider those yang memang tak reti nak bercakap, alasannya, takut baru start dgn 'abanggg'...dah basah kuyup and the more their 'abang' ridiculed them. 

Problem with us is...we always take everything, personal. There's nothing personal about telling people what you want from them. Masa tgh bercenta, we refrain ourselves from addressing the annoying facts sebab kita takut orang tu lari. Then we take it so personal that if we did say that, yang of course lah tak sedap didengar, maka dgn tak semena-mena si boipren tu akan marah or kuchiwa, then dgn bangang nya we turn the table back to us and think, look..I've upset him. I'm bad.

Same goes dgn laki kita. Problem dalam bilik tido...nak dicakap kang, hasben kecik ati. Bila dia kecik ati, kita pun rasa bersalah (apakah?) tapi bab hasben mengecikkan ati kita, you rasa ada sekelumit rasa salah ke dalam diri nya? Harammm! So we thought, okaylah..takyah cakap..simpan ajelah jarum emas tu didalam peti. Tak pun, tukarkan jarum emas tu menjadi tulisan yg boleh kita tulis dalam pesbuk. 

Having spent years working with the disabled, words that come out of my mouth means exactly as it is.I may have to choose my words carefully sebab some people at my receiving ends takde capacity nak menerima benda2 yang berat dan tajam. 

Wife often felt bullied yet they are too 'arrogant' to fight it off. Well, it doesn't have to be wife. Kita ni pun, kalau rasa terguna mulalah bertingkat2 self pity, kan? We use the excuse 'taknak gaduh' as to why we didn't confront our bully. Again, we like to misuse the context of 'gaduh'. Gaduh to me is when people takes things reallyyyyyy personal. Like, kita marah kat laki kita pasal dia lupa birthday kita. Ke boleh focus pasal the little picture here is, lupa birthday. No, we tend to want to hit where it hurts like, ohhh kalau besday orang lain cepat pulak you ingat. Of course lah sipolan yang dah le pelupa, rasa bersalah pastu diganyah lagi ego nya dgn tuduhan yang dia lagi ingat besday orang lain. Tak ke punca gaduh tu?

We don't want to 'bising2' because we don't want 'gaduh'. But why must we intend and foresee to 'gaduh' when the motive wasn't that?

So yes. When I feel strongly about something and when the people I speak to really worth my while, I tend to communicate as clear as I can. It may as well upset them but if they're upset, to me, it is some understanding issue that they need to work on. Want to stay forever Mr or Miss Nice pun adalah cabang arrogance jugak. You don't want to tell the truth bcos alasan you, you don't want to upset people, but really is, you want to look and be nice and stay that way. You collect points from being nice...walaupun ada orang sakithati yang terdevelop dari sifat2 you ni. So, you're not that nice after all.

I have ignored some friendships. I have very good reasons to do this too. Their either one nasty piece of work or just one who is not worth my time. 

Kesimpulannya...kalau I cakap A, makna nya A. If I think you're wrong, I'll tell you...tu pun if I really want to see you again. And if salah...I will mengaku. Tu saja. 

Tu la pasal tak ramai kawan....kan, Kiah?

Takde Tajuk, Tapi Posting Ini Adalah Sedikit Emosi

Okeh...takde orang hantar email tanya soklan mengenai sakit mental tapi disebabkan saya buhsan duduk berguling atas katil tanpa pergerakan fizikal maka saya gagahkan otak saya untuk memikirkan masalah yang saya rasa sangat active dalam masyarakat Melayu & Malaysia ---kat sini ada gak masalah ni, but orang nya sangat forgiving.

Saya kenal dua orang jantan gagah yang pernah berbinikan orang yang mengalami sakit mental. It seems like their marriage is broken down by it. Nasib orang perempuan, kan? Tak berfungsi sikit aje, terus terbuka luas pintu pagar lakinya untuk ditamatkan khidmat.

Tapi, jarang pulak dengar perempuan yang berlakikan pesakit mental boleh melepas tangan cam tu aje. Kalau dapat lepas pun...it is either pompuan tu dah mati kena bunuh dek lakinya or adalah benda criminal yang terjadi dan lakinya masuk penjara maka the inevitable happened. But siaplah pompuan tu akan kena kutuk dek family lakinya....isk.

Some years ago, we read about the geologist who killed his wife. I followed the case closely, one being they're my aunt's neighbour. I remember my aunt telling my mom how the anak is kecik-kecik lagi...kesiannn etc. The geologist was sent for further observations and acquitted based on diminished responsibility. He was recently pardoned and sent to live with his dad in the east coast state. The moment he is a free man, the first thing he did was to file a court case against his father in law, for the right to manage the harta, that he and the late wife had together.

Because he is a man, he is spared the horrible insinuation. Dont get me wrong, I am not here to judge him. I cannot begin to imagine how he lives his life now, knowing that he killed his wife, being robbed of his perfect life due to his illness and having to live with the fact that his children are motherless because of him.

I am writing this because for some reason, I think had he been a she who killed him, she will forever be remembered as the gila one who did everything heinous. Plus, if she start proceeding to reclaim their harta pencarian, can you imagine the stick she might get?

Stigmatism is the main hindrance for people with mental illness to out themselves. I guess in Malaysia,one thing I may want to consider is to understand why people think it is so bad to get mental illness and to have one.

Whilst the media is happy to report the crime, tanggungjawab nak membetulkan anggapan orang takde pulak mereka nak buat, kan?

Between us, how many of you will go and befriend a mentally unstable person? The sight of them may scare you, not mentioning the immediate thought you have on them reaching out for parang decapitating your head or maim our fingers.

Voices that people hear are often ridiculed. Okay lah, spare the mentally ill problems, what about those with HIV positive? The words AIDS is enough to make you run. Not many that one to sit down and understand.

Everytime I balik Malaysia, I will make time to visit this girl who her family like to call 'sakit jiwa'. Like any other mentally ill person, she is her family best kept secret. She was deprived of lots of things, of course she don't always know what she is missing as she was never expose to any. Deep down, she is very lonely. Her face lit up when we talk. She kept all my postcards. Since I come to London, I make a point to write to her because I do not want her to think that she has no friends.

She always tell me about the voices she hears, and of course I love to hear it with a strange delights. It hurts my feeling when she told me what she overhears her parents tells her other family members about her.

Of course, she has had her fair share of bad days, like we all are and you know what, she is forever judged for it.

For a society who implore so much that we live like a proper Muslims, mencari pahala begantang-gantang, tak habis-habis berdakwah macam semua manusia hidup dalam dosa, we forgot smallest things like how important it is not to upset people. We forgot that there is people out there that don't have many things to look forward to in life but can just be happy if you just humour the stupidest thing they can think of.

Malam2 macam ni, teruslah mode insaf keluar, kan?

Psst...my aunt's neighbour is called Faizah. She is indeed a lovely lady that happened to be destined to have ending like that. She smiles a lot. Al fatihah.




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MLC...Wujud Kah?

Gigih tak I menghapdate uolsss? Gigihhhh...(sendiri jawab naaa)

2, 3 hari ni I banyak membuat kerja-kerja yang memerlukan tenaga fizikal...yakni membasuh kain, mencuci toilet dan menggosok baju. Ye lah...setelah seminggu terlantar dan atas paksaan doktor yang I mesti melawan sakit kepala yang tetiba datang dari tak tau mana uols.

Oh ye, setelah I sembuh dari sakit nak muntak menengok gambau Kak Sue yang menjulur lidah dek kerana ketatnya dan kemut nya karipap dia, ishh...so vomit inducing...I pun bacalah komen that anon yang bertanya if Mid Life Crisis adalah gangguan mental juga.

Hmmm....hmmm...hmmm....(pikir nak jawab apa) but like I said, no questions is a silly questions kan? Lagipun it is only fair to assume that since MLC tu macam datang tetiba je dalam hidup seseorang.

I think, in general orang selalu konpius as in what is what. Anything to do with slight alterations of behaviour maka mental lah akan disuspect. Lagi satu yang common ialah orang ingat schizophrenia dan personality disorder tu adalah benda yang sama.

Ohh tidakkk.Walaupun penghidap schizophrenia boleh mendengar suara dari lain2 sumber ataupun mempercayai benda dan nampak benda yang kita takleh nampak, ini adalah tak serupa langsung dgn orang orang yang ada split personality. Unlike people with personality disorder, pesakit schizophrenia tidaklah merubah seseorang tu dgn extreme. As is, split personality is from Nora Danis you boleh berubah jadik Pasasandak. But is Pasasandak menghidap schizophrenia, Pasasandak adalah tetap Pasadandak walaupun sedikit demi sedikit dia akan berubah menjadi Pasasandak yang sakit. Make sense?

Okay, split personality is a different illness altogether. But having work with ppl who suffers from this disorder, believe me, physically mereka ni tak sakit. Dan mereka ni adalah sangat menakutkan.

Let's try looking deep into middle life crisis ni. Personally I have never read any research about this nor have I seen any. Sebagai manusia, umur kadangkala mempengaruhi cara-cara kita berfikir.

Semua orang kata, orang lelaki ni lambat matang. Kalau hari ni dia berumur 19 tahun, jatuh centa dgn kawan sekelasnya dan pada dia, itulah centa pertama, terakhir dan abadi dan kalau boleh nak suruh mak nya pinang time2 tu jugak. But at 39, kalau dia jatuh centa lagi...dia akan berfikir, buruk dan baik dan macam2 lagi.

The more you allow your brain some space to relax, the more you see and realise, and perhaps like to reflect on things. But not all of us are the same.

Orang yang konon nya ber middle life crisis ni adalah selalunya set-set yang introvert dizaman tak matured nya. Masa tu agaknya dunia pun belum luas lagi. People often say that as men get older the propensity to go on the look for someone younger is higher. But although men may mature in age, their taste might still be the same. If 20 years ago they love young and energetic girls, 20 years after they're atill liking the same young and energetic walaupun dia tu sendiri dah nak rebah. There's nothing to do with MLC, I think. And of course with new happenings, they will want to keep up. Kereta baru...mobile phone baru...macam2 lah.

People just have the tendency to change, tak kira umur. Tapi...sebagaimana yang kita tahu...jantan, mana lah nak mengaku kesalahan sendiri kannn? Dia yang berubah hati, dia salahkan keadaan semasa. Anak nakal sikit, salahkan bini tak pandai jaga anak. Kalau boleh, dunia yang tak aman pun nak disalahkan kat bini jugak.

I think the problem with most men is that, while they claim that they don't like confrontation, their silly way of trying to avoid owning up mistakes jeorpardises their communication. I like to think this is true. They don't try to explain clear enough for their partner to understand...and you known during difficult times, benda yang semudah ABC memang susah nak difaham..so we need the men to try to make it as easy as possible (as traumatic as possible) for us to understand why they did it.

If your husband cheats on you, sampai you mati pun you will not understand his reasons of doing so, because he never try hard enough to explains it. I once asked this guy in teraphy room, kena dia tipu bini dia. What he told me (which dia kata dia dah try explain kat bini dia tapi bini dia tak paham) was, he was bored of the same old same old things so he strayed.

Perempuan pulak bila dah kechiwa kena tipu, laki dia cakap apa pun dia tak paham...ye lah, nak paham macam mana kan...when your husband tells you he is bored, you wonder why? You asked again, you bored? Bored of what? Bored of me?

The husband should have said yes, because it is true. But no, dia kata...I don't know..I don't know....I'm just bored with everything. So, kalau bosan dgn kereta lama, tukar lah dgn kereta baru kan?

To men the women is selfish. But the truth is, they're the one that is because they expect the women to understand and accept everything, and live with it.

So tak payah tunggu laki you naik umur lah. Kalau dia tu memang set2 yang bertulang sardin, every year umur dia naik, dia akan membuat perubahan yang menyakitkan hati you. Pastu expect you jadik pasrah macam Maya Karin.

Cuna kita bagi excuse kat dia yang kita ni ada MLC. Sure tak cukup tanah dia nak pi ngadu kat sedara mara kita yamg kita dah tersampuk hantu, kan?

Mari Kita Tengok Ini....

I lifted this from FB.

If you ask me, kalaulah iklan ni keluar TV masa I dok tengok telly bersama keluarga, I swear the embarrassment of seeing this could kill me instantly.

It seems to be that, banyak betul expectation kawum jantan kepada orang pompuan. Selain daripada menjadi bibik, PA dan lenlain, ohh...juga menjadi production line untuk anak2 diorang, we are expected to maintain ourselves in certain specs. Ketat, rapat, kemut (ishhh) dan bergetah.

Okaylah, untuk keharmonian rumahtangga dan menjaga hati laki supaya dia tak melompat mencari lain, maka kita ikut kan ajelah kannn. Walaupun situkang demand tu idoklah berbadan six pack, berbau polo eau de parfum dopopat jam dan memenuhkan nafsu duniawi kita...tak bagi henbeg LV, key chain pun jadi ye tak?

Tapi...Puan Sue, ferlukah mengeluarkan lidah tu?! Adakah pengeluaran lidah yang ropa itu membuktikan betapa syok nya Puan Sue selepas kembali ketat, bergetah bagai ni?

Kat tempat saya duduk kan Puan Sue, jarang orang pompuan buat iklan nak ketat segala. Yang iklan pun puak2 jantan talking about how to last long, how to make their bit well endowed gitu. Pastu keluarlah gambar couple senyum2 atas katil, enough to suggest how good the sex was. Takyah julur lidah.

Agaknya kannn....kalaulah Puan Sue makan gel gegetah centa dan suami Puan Sue pulak makan pil pembesar batang paip cap Austin Power, agak2 cemanalah posing Puan Sue agaknya...menjerit sampai koyak mulut ke Puan?

Apa maksudnya 'kembali dara' tu? Boleh ke dikembalikan benda yang memang dah tak ada? Speaking of which, how many women has fallen to a sucker for advertisement like this?

I read somewhere in an interview this retis talk about her mom's words of wisdom on how to jaga your man. Be cook in the kitchen, be a maid in the house and be a whore in the bedroom. So women are expected to do all 3 while the laki...kalau depa. Tu dok condo, idoklah dia dapat jadi tukang kebun, kan?

One thing I must agree is that sex do keep people together. To have sex, must have love. Err...that's my case lah. No love no sex. But isn't sex is a private thing between you and the other person? Now every men in Malaysia know about the current state of Puan Sue's karipap.

We can talk about sex with our trusted friends...that's okay I suppose...sebab boleh gelak2 kan. But what about couple yang kengkononnya videoed themselves that went viral dah satu dunia nampak mereka tu berkong**k. That one thing I don't understand...sex and filming?

Entahlah...is that their idea to spread the fun? But anyhooo....I hope Puan Sue hot paid bucketload of money. Seriously, I rasa nak lempang Puan Sue.

Schizophrenia Q and A (Bahagian Ke 2)

Okay, ada pertanyaan lagi. But I really think that if I blog about it, maka kita-kita yang ber symptom tapi malu nak pi serah diri kat clinic2 psychiatry, boleh la baca. Takpe, nanti bila ALP dah siap, you boleh datang ye. Kita boleh layan you 1:1.

To reiterate, schizophrenia can only be diagnose through symptoms presented. Tak ada ujian-ujian makmal. Having said this, janganlah pulak uols berasa Psychiatrist tu sesuka jiwa aja nak diagnose orang ye. Manalah tahu kan...kita ni kan serba defensive kenkadang.

Maybe you should know that it is not always easy to describe the typical symptoms. It really depend on the severity and kenkadang tu symptoms are presented in such a variety of combinations. But yang I tahu, symptoms adalah di kategori kan kepada 3 aja, but if this is wrong, para Dr yang membaca silalah bagitau, sebab Makji ni bukan lah Doktor ye. Hiks hiks hiks...( kurang air)

There's negative, cognitive and positive.

Let's do positive first. Yang dikategorikan sebagai positif ialah hallusinasi dan khayalan. Okay, this two are not the same. Believe me, although macam sama je bunyik nya. Hallucination involves things like hearing,tasting,smelling and nampak benda yang tak ada. Dalam bahasa melayu yang senang difahami ialah, hallusinasi akan terjadi bila kefahaman yang timbul atas ketidakcukupan daya pendorong. Err, sense of perception that arises in the absence of a stimulus.

Khayalan pulak...ialah kepercayaan yang tak mahu patuh or bertolak ansur dengan benda yang logic dan benar. Often, memang out of keep with the holder's background. Gitu. Ada ketaksamaan nya sidua beradik ni ye. Walaupun khayalan ni tak semestinya menipu, tapi punca datangnya kenkadang adalah tak masuk akal. Pastu pulak, khayalan ni ada berjenis-jenis tema nya.

Why are they called 'Positive Symptoms'? Hehehe, masa I memula jadik pekerja kat Substance Misuse Dept tu, ni lah soklan yang saya tanya. Ye lah..heran lah kann...apa pulak hallucination and delusions tu dipanggil positive? Jawapan situkang mengajar tu ialah, postive makna nya active symptoms. Macam bila orang cakap, ohh si pokpek tu HIV Positive. Kann? Dah le HIV, positive lah pulak lagi. But time2 tu, saya adalah pelajar lulusan kira2 yang baru pencen dari jadik pramulori. So manalah nak paham term2 medical ni kan?

Symptom Cognitive pulak ialah bila seseorang tu mengalami kepayahan nak konsentret kat kita dan daya ingatan yang lemah. Tapi ini tidaklah bermakna bila laki kita ataupun kekasih kita tak fokus kat kita masa kita bagitau dia menda2, maka dia tu adalah penghidap schizophrenia. Tak, itu sakit chilaka nama nya. Dan memang patut di lempang dgn mangkuk panas.

Negative Symptom pulak ialah bila...bak kata orang Kelantan...tok pakka. Nak buat tu tak boleh, nak bangun dari katil takde daya, nak mandi tak nak...bercakap pun tak betul...one of many lah. Still this does not apply to sakit chilaka yang dialami oleh para swomi anda ye. Cuba anda offer nak pinangkan Zarina Anjolie Lavocah---seriously, betul ke nama dia cenggini?! Maka symptom sakit chilaka laki anda tu akan hilang serta merta.

So the soklan was, bilakah masa nya yang sesuai untuk mendapat pertolongan? Hmm, soklan ni I tak berapa paham...adakah you rasa you mengalami tanda2 schizophrenia?

Macam ni lah...we can tell when we feel strange physically and emotionally. Bila kita rasa tertekan amat sangat sampai kita tak nampak jalan keluar, bawak2 lah mengadu. Orang kata, mengadulah pada Allah, dia maha mendengar. Betul. Tapi kita juga kena practical. Bila ada symptom secara physical, ketaklaratan melampau, hyperventilation segala...mengadulah pada Doctor jua.

Another thing, kalau yg tertekan tu bukan kita, tapi orang yang rapat dgn kita, mind you..mostly pesakit mental tak sedar mereka tu telah menunjukkan symptom mereka kat orang, you bawaklah dia tu jumpa doctor. Penyakit mental adakalanya timbul bila pesakitnya muda belia lagi. Kadang2 tanda-tanda awal are often preceded by insidious phase. Macam Kiah suka menuduh asal anak no. 2 aje, ber MCS. Tetiba pulak Allah nak duga kita anak no 2 kita pulak yang nak kena sakit, so nampaklah fasa-fasa yang agak pelik...suka cakap sensorang, monyok..marah2 etc. Without the benefit of hindsight, tanda2 awal mmg susah untuk di cam, especially dengan bermacam ragamnya perangai budak2 sekarang...when it can be naturally be passed off as normal teenagers mood,masalah chenta or drug use. Trust your instinct. Cuba bukak sikit bijik mata dan kepala tu.Kalau lain macam sangat, sila pergi jumpa doctor.

Then masalah seterusnya....kalau si orang yang sakit tu tak rasa dia sakit dan tak nak? Then kita jumpa doctor dan mintak nasihat. Macam mana nak bercakap. Dalam masyarakat kita, jumpa doktor...okaylah, janganlah kata jumpa doktor, jumpa orang pejabat agama mintak nasihat sebab kita dgn laki kita ada masalah pun kita malu kan? Yelah..tak nak orang tahu masalah kita. Nak nak pulak kalau orang pejabat agama tu macam haram mulut nya. Eh, ada tau. Ni pernah orang yang saya kenal pi jumpa Jab Agama maka si Ustaz pegawai agama tu cakap, tu lah...ingkar cakap suami, tak pandai jaga hati suami...cis. Patut di bom cili je orang camtu. Ehh..of the tangent pulak.

Early detection of an illness will improve the situation. Walaupun tak ada miracle cure, schizophrenia can be successfully treated.

Meh sini I nak cakap dengan uols. Orang Malaysia...okaylah...orang melayu kebanyakan nya mempunyai sifat malu yang displaced. Benda yang tak patut kita malu, kita malu. Benda yang patut kita malu...kita tak malu. Ada orang macam kurang sifat malunya mencanang-canang kemacambagusan mereka kat orang. Kalau kita pakai dari head to toe branded, kita tak malu tunjuk kat orang. Kita la rasa tak malu sebab kita rasa kita cantik. Orang yang menengok kata, elehh...tapi kita rasa, ohh cakap lah apa kau nak cakap, janji aku hado. Kau hado? Benda macam ni jadik amalan kita sehari-hari. Kita tak rasa malu membuka aib orang...membuat kacau depan rumah orang buat tarian tunjuk burit. Kita tak rasa malu pergi buat road show mengata orang sana, mengata orang sini.

Kita tak rasa malu naik public transport macam anak kambing. Kita tak rasa malu bawak kereta selaju laju alam macam kita aja lah yang nak cepat. Kita tak malu menganiaya orang.

Tapi kita malu nak menerima kekurangan orang. Kita malu nak berterus terang. Kita malu mengenangkan apa orang akan cakap.

Okaylah...saya suka memesong cakap kan? Boleh tak saya dengan muka yang paling tak malu minta you all, dan kawan2 you all...kalaulah ada sedikit rasa kasihan didalam hati, membantu Persatuan Fitrah untuk mengumpul duit untuk melaksanakan projek ALP mereka? You all dah baca news kan, yang sana sini ramai orang sakit yang tak di ubat ditolong, yang kesudahannya menunjukkan tanda yang paling extreme baru pihak berwajib nak ambil perhatian?

You all tahu tak kat Felda nun, mana2 budak perempuan yang sakit mental juga dijadikan hamba seksual jantan2 lahanat, pastu bila budak tu mengadu, pi pulak kompang kawan tu gila? Free free aja bagi si pompuan tu HIV nah?

Tahu tak you...ada nenek di Cheras terpaksa menjaga 4 cucunya yng sakit mental dan Kementerian Lembu Duduk Condo hanya memberi RM150.00 sorang untuk sara hidup tapi berduit pulak buat building 38 tingkat kat Putrajaya nun?

Some of us boleh pergi Starbuck, tengok wayang etc etc...but pesakit2 mental yang mempunyai makpak tak mampu, jangankan nak pi Starbucks you, menyebut Starbucks pun takut. Tak mahukah kita bagi mereka peluang mendapat rawatan dan membolehkan mereka hidup macam kita juga...pi kerja, pi tengok wayang...ada kawan-kawan...

Smallest fun in life. I am asking you to consider. Kadang2 hidup kita ini bukan untuk kita sendiri. Macam, if we earn gaji 2 ke 3 ribu ke, maybe 50 ringgit tu macam tertulis untuk orang lain yang memerlukan. We will never get poor donating money to the needy. :)

The information on how to pass on your generosity is on the top posting. Spread the news.

I want to write about managing stress and anxiety. It may be helpful for you or people you cared for and it is part of psychosocial treatment (bab yang inj I tersangatlah terrer nahhh) I think apart from explaining the typical symptoms and how to cope, the other thing about mental illness that you may find useful to know is how to manage it and informations about medications.

The anons who emailed me the question, I hope my explanation helps ye :)


Sent from my iPad

The Macam - Macam

Betul cakap Kiah, orang yang tengah sakit adalah sensitip. Maka saya sekarang sedang melalui musim2 sensitip. Ditambah dengan acara tumpah darah on monthly basis tu, lagi lah sensitips kan?

1. Ada kawan saya cakap dengan saya, dia malas nak campur dengan set2 melayu tempatnya. Katanya Melayu suka cakap hal orang. Dalam hati saya kata..ehh, saya pun melayu juga. Saya rasa nak cakap dengan dia, tak kira la apa bangsa, ada orang yang memang suka cakap pasal hal orang lain. Dan pada saya, orang takkkan bercakap hal kita kalau kita tak bercakap hal mereka. Gituh. Saya kira-kira, secara fulltime, dah dekat 13 tahun..okay..ni dah June kann? Dah 13 tahun saya bermastautin kat sini. Saya pun tak jugak ramai kawan dgn orang Melayu. Saya rasa sebabnya ialah saya ni pemalu (phluekkkks taww) Ada suatu ketika dahulu, saya berkenal dgn beberapa orang melayu, tetapi dgn tak semena2, sebab mereka tu gaduh, dgn saya2 pun mereka gaduh jugak. Macam2 perangai betul. Mula2 dulu saya rajin pergi gathering gomen kat Bayswater tu...sebabnya saya nak la tengok ramai orang melayu. Tapi, saya tak happy langsung...sebab melayu kat situ ada geng2 mereka sendiri. Saya takde geng. So selepas itu saya membuat keputusan, okaylah..saya malaslah nak pi tempat ramai orang melayu lagi. Why am I writing this? Sebab ada orang tanya saya, saya tak pergi lepak area2 Bayswater tu ke. Saya cakap, saya tak suka sebab area tu area orang melayu. Mesti orang tu rasa saya sudah bongkak. Tapi, itulah sebabnya. Saya tak suka pergi ke tempat saya rasa out of place. 

2. Ada seorang kawan saya datang urusan kerja ke London baru2 ni. Kami kenal pun through work jugak...ye lah, saya kan tengah active ber networking ni. Orang melayu...tapi sepatah haram cakap melayu pun dia tak nak cakap dgn saya. Saya bantai juga cakap melayu diselang seli homputeh. Seperti kebanyakan melayu frustrated yang lain, dia katanya telah bosan nak rak dgn Malaysia dan nak berhijrah. Cara cakapnya tu macam dah benci sungguh..tak boleh tahan itu, tak boleh tahan ini. Bila saya baca profil nya, dia hanya belajar dinegara homputeh 2 tahun aje. Amboiiii. Tapi saya kan suka mendengar? Kadang2 orang tak sedar, makin banyak dia bercakap, makin bangang bunyi nya. Tapi dia masih muda...masa saya sebaya dgn dia, dalam hotak saya masa tu nak cari duit saja. Saya takde masa nak menengok dan memikir perangai orang sekeliling. Dia kata pemikirannya setaraf orang Eropah saja. Elehhh. Tapi walaupun begitu, dia seorang yang berbakat dalam kerja nya. Line bidang kerja kami sama...dan saya rasa saya boleh faham frustration nya. Kerja membawa kebaikan masyarakat ni susah nak dapat bantuan.Dia tanya saya, macam mana projek saya. Saya kata, okaylah...so far, ada 2 saja orang kat Malaysia yang sudah menyumbang. Yang lain2 tu..orang Malaysia disini. Saya kata, tak apa...kita tak boleh harap orang berpisah dgn duit mereka apatah lagi suka dgn kerja kita. Orang Malaysia kan suka glamerrr? Kerja glamerr..pakaian glamerr..shopping glamerrr. Walaupun mereka claim mereka tu bangsa penyayang, saya tak pernah dengar pulak orang Malaysia ambik cuti setahun buat kerja kebajikan. Opis saya, kalau sorang2 mat salleh hilang, tau tau dah pi Afrika lah in a mission ubat Malaria, mission mengajar budak buta huruf. Minggu lepas, ada colleague saya ambik cuti 3 bulan tanpa gaji nak pi jaga orang utan kat Borneo katanya. Orang Malaysia? Ohh..ye lah..mereka pi Palestine, kan? Walaupun berlambak orang Malaysia tu susah. Kemudahan orang cacat kurang. PM kita kerja nya menjelajah janji ditepati aje. Tah hapa janji yang pernah ditepati tatau lah...

3. Oh ya...saya juga ada baca blog gossip. Tu pun kalau dah news tu ter flash2 kat FB. Sekarang ni ramai betul pelakon penyanyi nama pelik2. Dah la nama pun pelik, hobi pun pelik. Bergaduh. Yang tu kata orang ni, yang ni kata orang tu. Tapi kata straight A student, kan? Gitu ke mentality nya? And all this about thinking aloud speech in social media? Yang of course dibaca orang ramai orang. Tak ke berfikir sebelum nak cakap tu? Takyah kata retis lah kann? Yang golongan bijak pandai politik pun cam tu gak. One claimed to know many secrets. Macam tak habis2. Yang dia nak expose tu abang dia sendiri. Okaylah..adik beradik lagikan bergaduhkan...but tak terfikir ke apa orang cakap? What with the demi bangsa and negara kononnya dia buat camtu? And pulak sipuak yang konon nya kena fitnah tu...lehhh. Because you are teraniaya maka you deserve the vote lah and naik jadik PM? Kan ke patut you bersihkan nama you dulu, pastu bila dah clear, nak jadik PM? Jadi laaaa.

Relationship Status.....Macam Biasa

Percayalah, this is written in a jamban. The beauty of aipek 2 kannn? Thanks to Vodakpon, the aipek is free. The length they went to keep me in their account. Pandaikan orang putih buat business? To keep on having the relationship maka vodakpon sanggup memberi I apa saja...aipek segala. I just wish vodakpon is a real person who is in a real relationship with me that in 11 years, continue to find way to keep me happy.

I will be going under GA and knife tomorrow :) The thought of it make me takut, but if I published this, meaning....I did wake up from that loongggggggg sleep.

Before I left KL, my on again off again indecisive kawan tapi mesra when selected, ask me to be 'macam biasa'. God knows apa maksudnya. But I am too malas to find meaning for everything now. Yes, I was never good enough for you kan? One must know when to keep their eyes open. Yes, you can love...love lah sangat, nasik lemak sambal udang aku turutkan walaupun kau tak kopek kulit udang tu. But yes, I think I can love as much as I want, but if you donno how to appreciate, you can go mati. ( errr.....)

Yes, when you are too angry, is not easy to find any good reasons. But when you love, it is also not easy to find what not to love about.

So off we went macam biasa. If there is such term in FB relationship. I dont think about missing my OAOA anymore. It is sad that we are so good together, ye lah apart from the obvious hati kering kaudu selfish etc, it is a dream to be in a relationship when one never fights, argue, fancy the pants of each other and the lot.

The macam biasa attitude continue with the strong contender is yours truly. I got so much work to do. I never start my day thinking about what my OAOA might be doing. Makan ke dia, apa ke dia. I longer tunggu BBM orang tu. In fact, my BBM is use on a good cause like notifying Kiah who updates their FB status dgn ayat yang macam shiall...or rile up Kiah in pursuit for her to lawan her SV. Yes, I must focus on my strength....empowering people. That's what I do best.

But of course, the kerbau balau have days like mushy peas. The macam biasa relationship is creeping up to be macam gila pun ada kadang-kadang. Some days I got nicer one like, take care...missing you. And tomorrow, good night love you. And tulat, takde berita sampai ke pagi...

But, of course when your relationship dah sampai ke tahap 'macam biasa', maka itulah dia cycle nya kan?

Why is it? Why can't some people be nice unprompted? I can still get away with it mengenangkan yang I ni bila2 masa je boleh berambus tanpa notis kan? But what say the married couple or the long term one? Susah benarkah nak menunjukkan bukti yang kasih sayang tu ada? Just because the other half tu tahu your warts and all, maka perlukah menunjuk lagi benda yang obvious? Okay lah, in my case, I am suppose to make peace with my OAOA perangai buruk. But just because I'm coping, doesn't mean you don't have to change kan?

Ohhh..yes, that is when you have to apply the macam biasa.

Macam biasa lah sangat!

Sent from my iPad

Update

The soklan I get in FB

1. Ehhhh..ko belum kawen ekk? Apesal ahh? Tu lahhh ko ni memilih sangatttt. ------ bila soklan ditanya kat I, I belum sempat pun nak jawab maka si tukang tanya dah pun memberikan jawapan nya sendiri. 

2. Uiii...shantekk nya ko sekarang. (err, dulu tak shantekk ke?) Muka pun dah lain...(ah?) Ada buat apa-apa kerrr dulu masa sekolah hidung tak mancung pun? ------you think if I say yes to plastiksejeri kat hidung, do you think she will stop at this question? Nah...sure dia akan bagi ceramah. Well since she is the one yang ada suspicion macam gampang tu, maka biorle dia yang jawab sendiri.

3. Ko keje apa eh kat oversea tu? Cemana kau dapat kerja tu...berapa gaji?  ----- you think I should ask her the same?

4. Ehh..you kawan dgn si polan-pulan tu ye (the famous one) How lah you kenal si polan-si polan tu? Ye ke si polan-si polan tu xyz? -----pergilah tanya sendiri ye?

5. Rumah kau dgn Herrots dekat tak? Boleh tak ko tolong tengok kan berapa rega beg elbi, gussik etc. Bagi tau aku ye. ---tak pernah dengar 'google' ke weh? 

6. Err, I am in need of financial aid. You are the only one who can help. Pleasee..please... ------I have got 3 requests so far for this. 2 of them is married man.Men always say women are very pushy. Generalised us to the max, but they dalam diam2, buat muka and ayat2 kesian push2 kita tolong dia. Haishhh.

And other contradictions you see in your day to day life...

Saya adalah pemimpin yang berjiwa rakyat. Turun padang etc etc. Hmm...this pemimpin can either be the pemimpin ppl choose in politics or the type of pemimpin yang naik jadi pemimpin lepas pak nya mati. Go figure. But if they so berjiwa rakyat, why do they need special VIP room at the airport and why bila traffic jem, lepas aje neeeeenooooo neeeeeenoooooo....not queing like other rakyat. Jiwa rakyat lah sangat kannn?

Then the pemimpin yang sokmo kalau bercakap kena pakai loudspeaker and tak cukup dgn microphone berjuta volume, cakap pun berdegar-degar...macam dia lah yang betul. So, kenapakah mereka memerlukan alat pembesar suara itu? Adakah kerana rakyat yang pekak? Ke siapakah sebenarnya yang pekak, mereka ke kita? Sebab bila kita buat cadangan, mintak itu mintak ini, mereka pemimpin buat-buat pekak kan?

A photo of a sexy woman. Then keluarlah komen2 yang mengutuk pompuan tu kaw-kaw dek keseksian mereka itu. But think hard, is it another women who will look hard, mata buntang tak kelip2 at another women pix? Please lah..nampak sangat yang mengomen tu laki-laki orang yang menyamar pakai nama lain like zaman2 IRC dulu kan?

The Famous People

Ni set-set yang ada account burung biru tu. Bila tweet2 pukul 2,3 pagi...peminat yg inneseng akan tanya..ehh ahkak tak tido ke? Si retis tak jawab direct but come up with another tweet, why Malaysian like to state the obvious? Elehhhh....jawab je lah kan..saya takleh tido sebab saya baru abis kerja, susah ke? Kang takde orang tgk show kau, ko gak yg tak makan.

Ni satu another retis who like to name and shame people yang dia kata, kurang siviks. Orang desperate nak kencing, que toilet panjang and kena pakai disable toilet, dia marah. So what...you expect people to treat you the same, so you must treat others (yang takde disability) the same lah kan? Ada ke tulis kat disable toilet tu orang able bodied takleh pakai? Lagipun to be a registered disabled, you really dont need to break your neck. Lack of social skills pun kira disabled lah kak...

The Politician who ask you to share his sentiment and mission to merampas 'Putrajaya'. How he was hard done by the power that be. And this is the same people who were amongst the power that be, once upon a time ago...

:)

Maka Kita Bukanlah Orang yang Berkuasa

I can be really, really wrong in this. But yes, I welcome all form of freedom of expression, opinion etc etc. And I must say, whilst you are granted this freedoms, you must also take some responsibility with it.

I read many Facebook entries, notes and what ahve you about people being so stressed with their weight and depressed over their newly 'balloned' figure. Some went to slimming centre tah pe benda but always comeback with perasaan nak lempang orang yang suruh depa start makan benda2 yang dalam list.

Apakah? You went there and just because they tell you don't do this and this and this..ko rasa nak lempang? Habis tu siapa yang kena buang lemak dalam badan? Amoi tu ke? No. Instead of taking the amoi seriously, we go and moan about how the beauty of life is being deprived from us. We cannot eat nasik lemak berkoyan, mengunyah jajan and minum all that extra fats ice blended haaramzadah shakes. Then mulalah buat statement yang menyedapkan hati dia macam..takpelah biar aku gems tapi aku bahagia. So, okaylah..ada ke orang kacau you kalau you gems? You jugak yang pi komplen kat seantero dunia ko rasa dah macam badak Farouk kan?

Then of course yang menyalahkan keadaan, lalu keadaan lah yang menyebabkan dia makan. Ohh please lah. Semua nya salahkan keadaan kan? Laki buat hal, kalau tak makan hati..kita bantai makan nasik (dan sebagainya)

You stress, you eat. As if I eat all my derita away. As if, if I eat more...things will get better. I will feel better. Yes, you felt better that your weighing scale will beg to differ.

Tu bab makan/stress/gemukgedempuls.

Then of course those yang merana jiwa dek chenta, relationship or anything that menyakitkan hati. Punya luahan jiwa yang kenkadang...ish, dah tahap meluat gua baca.

Some of you know that apart from kerja soSIAL ni, I am also a trained to deal with gravely depressed people. But this is not something I do fulltime. And I think I must tell you, people like us, we don't give advice. Because we are not suppose to.So sesapa yang stress and depressed gila yang rasanya kalau jumpa therapist/councellor lalu berfeeling segala masalah akan selesai, maka itu adalah permulaan yang salah. If your counsellor start giving advice, you need to stop your session immediately.

But of course dgn kawan2, I am ever ready to talk tak kira masa...yelah bila orang dah sebal kepalahotaknya dgn masalah ataupun ada something dalam hati yang takleh nak keluar, terbangun lah tengah malam kan? Honestly, orang yang mengadu tu sebenarnya tahu yang kebanyakan masalah mereka adalah disebabkan oleh mereka sendiri.

Err, macam infection control...host nya ada, tapi yang membuatnya jadi critical, kita lah kan?

Ada kawan I ni yang sedang bermasalah dgn lakinya. Hari-hari dia mengadu kat I. To the extend sampai I nak kesian kat lakinya. Wouldn't you, kalau orang dok ngata laki dia macam2..kadang2 benda yang dia cakap tu..something she can tell the husband herself but of course women never want to accept that telepathy is actually not working with jantan. We always assume...ye lah, kalau kita baik dgn orang, maka orang kena baik dgn kita. We think that this should be the rules of friendship where if we are good enough to share secrets, maka we can oversee any other practical things. Macam dgn laki, just because kita tido sekatil dgn nya, maka kita berpendapat bahawa, kalau kita demam secara automatik nya dia akan bawakkan sup ikan merah untuk kita. Where we will do exactly the same for him kalau dia pun dah nak mati. Ado? Nan hado. Sometimes we think we know people...but we actually don't. Just because you observed them day in day out, you know everything at the back of your hand.

Then another one, sokmo sakit hati dgn Boss nya. Dia ni bekerjalah bermati-matian untuk membuktikan dia tu pekerja cemerlang terbilang. Memanglah dia pekerja cemerlang terbilang but just because the Boss overlook some practical and vital things, dia kecik ati and marah2. Benda yang dia adu kat I semuanya, I think..had she directed it to the intended person, she would not got herself so wounded like that. I asked, did you tell her, jawab my friend ni, she should know whatt....

See...assumptions rules!

* Okay, ada ex schoolmate I yang semenjak dua menjak menjalin balik ikatan dgn I ni, berusaha bersungguh-sungguh untuk membawak I kejalan yang benar. Apa yang benar dan tak benar nya tak tau lah. One thing very obvious to her, is that I tak pakai tudung. And that I ni semayang pun...kalau balik kerja, I can qada' all prayers to Zuhur to Maghrib in one go. Now and again, she will send me all the link2 yang menunjukkan the azab I am about to get for tak pakai tudung. Dalam hati I cakap, kalaulah menghantar I link2 macam ni membuat dia happy, maka biarlah..dan semoga Allah bukalah hati I nak menutup aurat. But she just didn't stop at that...another text syarahan she sent me was, we have to pkasa ourselves to do things we don't like because at the end, akan timbul keredhaan. Like, kalau tak suka semayang, paksa diri tu semayang, paksa diri tu pakai tudung..paksa diri tu macam2..in the end, akan redha dan ikhlas.

Then of course those yang sungguh obsessed nak mengumpul pahala untuk dia selamat masuk syurga. Buat itu, buat ini. Some even take charge on some mission and enforce it on you. Some years ago, ada kawan I mintak I sedekah duit kat this mission to selamatkan orang Islam kat mana tah...and she said, by doing that I will build a jambatan emas for me in syurga. I told her, tak apa...I don't want that jambatan and I will not contribute.

I have never supported rumah anak yatim, bina masjid ke apa or sekolah pondok. Forgive me but I have less compassion for that cause. If the goverment boleh bina KLCC, Tower and tugu to remember all them people, I am sure they can build mesjid and suraus too. Katanya nak jadi negara Islam, kan? To me I have always maintain that those who deserve my help are the disabled, because my help would enabled them. This is my opinion.

The problem I encounter in Malaysia and orang melayu ialah, all the pesakit mental are syaitan-infected and dgn doa kepada Allah aja lah yang boleh menyembuhkan nya. My friend's relative was sent to some Islamic Centre for the mentally ill. Yes, this place exist apprently. So off the man went ito isolation, dibawak sembahyang and mengaji and all those pengisian rohani stuff. I went to see him. He is as paranoid as hell and in his own words, he was told that there are no such things as sakit mental dalam islam and he needed to do what he is asked to do. His illness was neglected and ignore and what was picked up was his weirdness. Macam haram. Who would think Ustaz will tell such vulnerable man that his tangan and lidah will be maimed? And was the Ustaz thinking to tell an ill man that Allah hated his guts? Where is this Ustaz compassion let alone kepala hotak nya? If you nak bukak pusat jagaan 'orang yang disesatkan setan' ni kan ke patut you research dulu apa 'setan' itu? Then of course you say that the beauty of your effort is everything about you and your treatment is Islamic. But the Ustaz forgot the most important bit in the process, the patient itself. Macam Dr lah, kalau heboh sangat nak suruh org masuk syurga but lupa nak bagi treatment kat orang tu for his illness. mana person-centred nya? But in Malaysia, religion sells. *

Let's just sums up all af the above. The asteric bits. I may not look or sound religious. I have always said that religion is the way of life hence, it is a choice. No paksaan. My first religious teacher said that and I believe him. (I believe everything my appa said)

I think you can impose 'force' and 'informed choice' up to certain age. I was forced to do everything at the very young age. I needed to be forced because I can't think for myself. I think had appa forced me to cover up like all the anak orang Arqam, I may be a different ppl today. 

I think it is good that kita menyeru orang berdakwah. Menyeru and memaksa is two different things. Yes, tidak ada paksaan dalam Islam. Al Baqarah explains that and of course its is counter statement by through ayat Al Qahfi. Ada banyak ayat dalam Quran tu, but situkang sampai akan sampaikan mengikut definition dia. A friend told me, although takde paksaan, it will hurt our chances to masuk jannah if we don't try to spread the good. 

Malaysia has come out with fatwas dan ada yang tak masuk akal pun ada. Okay, some said, siapalah kita untuk mempersoal kan ke terrer an orang yang belajar agama ni sedangkan kita pun hit and miss. But, bukan kah kita juga boleh berfikir?

So all those yang against majlis muda-mudi..konon nya dgn adanya majlis yang takde nilai islamic tu, maka terjejaslah aqidah. You tak fikir kah, orang yg terjejas aqidah tu, dah mmg dari azali tak kuat aqidah nya? So are we saying that Muslim in Malaysia aqidah tak kuat lah? So in order to menguatkan aqidah...apa yg perlu kita buat? Melancarkan kempen paksa memaksa, buat fatwa yang tak masuk akal, interfere in people's life or hounding people's facebook wall dgn macam2 nasihat and asking people to change they way of life?

Does it work?

Maka berilah peringatan, kerana sesungguhnya kamu hanyalah orang yang memberi peringatan. Kamu bukanlah orang yang berkuasa atas mereka. (Qur’an Surat Al-Ghaasyiyah ayat 21-22)

Let's just try practical things.....kind words helps. 

psst. pengisian rohani is good for stressed out people. The ill need proper help. Just like the fat people on the top and the buta celik above, the nasihat for them to do good will always dibalas dgn the thoughts of rasa nak lempang. You came to my wall asking me to wear tudung, to sembahyang (eh..adakah kau duduk serumah dgn ku?) and beribadat like I am the most obvious sinners, is annoying. I believe I still have akal. Yes, I have been given peringatan and terima kasih, and the rest, let me talk directly to Allah. (Yes before you ask, I did private messaged this friend of mine to tell her this, armed with all ayat I lifted from the Quran)

I am sure Allah will reward you...all those dakwah you buat. Teruskan lah but never, never think that orang yang you rasa hidup mereka kurang makna agama tu, kosong.  

Telling Stories

Okeh...I ni takde anak. Taktau bila boleh dapat (kalau ada yang nak bagi) or sebenarnya, boleh ke I cope menjaga anak...sebab menjaga diri sendiri pun hit and miss, kan?

But the post I am about to write is cerita-cerita yang selalu I dengar. dari mulut kuda, mulut arnab and mulut kambing.

Since appa I yillekporringek..(ampun Bah....), we become very overprotective of Amma. I tell you, my Amma don't really need protection. She is a grown up women. Kalau dia dah boleh mendidik anak2 yang seropa pelesit hingga berjaya meninggalkan sarang, kalau setakat nak jaga diri senirik tu, kacanggg lah. As much as Amma like her own space, mulut cilakabanat sebelah menyebelah yang berfeeling2 macam dia je tahu apa yang dia cakap, telah membuat Amma rasa, eloklah dia dok dgn anak2 nya. 

Kita selalu tengok kan..bila anak menantu dok dgn pak/mak mentua, problem tak de. Kalau ada pun...I tak pernah dengar. Ye lah..ko dah hidup menomPANG! kalau nak jugak ngutuk pakmak mentua, memanglah baik pergi mati aje kann?

But case like, bila pak kita mati maka dalam sedih sedan, kita rasa tak nak tengok mak kita dok sensorang. Nak pulak kalau area setempat tu cam hamlau. Kita pun hangkut lah mak kita dok dengan kita. 

Benda yang pertama kita kena ingat, mak kita tu bukan suka-suka nak masuk dok rumah kita ye? Setakat nak menyempit dgn anak beranak kita, you ingat dia selesa ke? Tak...selalunya mak kita akan tahan juga. Dia akan tolong lah apa yang patut...masak ke, jaga anak kita yang macam pelesit tu ke...

Benda kedua yg orang suka lupa ialah...mak kita tu baru kembali solo setelah berduet selama beberapa tahun. Walaupun hidup pasangat duet tak selalunya indah, tapi kat pasangan duet kita tu lah tempat kita mengadu asam garam. Walaupun dalam hidup berduet tu, adakalanya masa tgh marah kita memeng mintak pasangat duet kita tu mati dilanyak lori, tapi yang sebenarnya, cemana gorammm pun, dia tetap laki tompek kito mengadu, tompek dio mengadu dan mintak buek kan kuih kodok. So the transition from pasangan duet ke artis solo...adalah susah okayyy? Ni bukannya Kumpulan Bee Gees okay..sorang mati...duo orang tu masih boleh nyanyi...sekarang, duo2 dah mati? Nyanyilah ko sensorang.

Masa amma nak pindah duduk rumah adik I, I tak berapa suka sangat. Not because I think that my sister can't cope or my BIL tak suka, but I cannot see why amma mesti pindah rumah dan duduk rumah orang. Orang lah..walaupun tu rumah anaknya. But in Amma's circumstances, she has to. I know she is not particularly comfortable but Amma tak pulak bising and kalaupun ada ketidakpuasan hati, she would hint dgn kata2, jangan cerita kat orang. Tapi kita yang mendengar nya? Jangan kata orang, dengan lombu pun kita nak pi ngadu.

Okaylah..leave Amma story aside. She is about to live independently soon. But on another story, kita sebagai anak menantu ni....yang mana mak or pak mentua terpaksa datang tumpang rumah kita, takde ke nak mengambik kira perasaan orang tu yang baru mati laki, yang terpaksa mengubah hidup dgn takdo notis? Orang menumpang ni...sensitive weh. Kalau boleh dia pun tak nak menumpang.

Yes, other people living with us, in situation where one had to be imposed on us..is not ideal.  Pasal tu lah orang putih/cina etc tak nak tumpang rumah anak2. Dia sanggup masuk rumah orang tua. I have nothing against rumah orang tua. And I think kalau kita ni berada dalam situation, omak kita pun set2 tak leh nak ngam dgn orang...maka untuk kebaikan kedua belah pihak, masuk kan dia kat rumah jagaan. Macam2 activity, entah2 cukup bulan..emak kita akan pandai ber Facebook.

Tak pun, kalau uols rasa rumah orang tua tu macam kejam aje bunyi nya...carik lah org gaji teman mak kita tu. Ada gak dia kawan nak bercerita pasal Astro Oasis kann?

Yes, sebagai anak..kita nak menjaga mak kita or bapak kita...tapi bukankah menjaga tu termasuk memastikan dia ceria dan happy tanpa perlu memandang jelingan2 maut anak2 menantu.

Why malays is so against hantar makpak kat Nursing home? Nak jaga dgn tangan sendiri pastu stress ditompik-tompik lah orang tua tu. Jaga orang sakit memang stress...nak nak orang sakit ni juga ada jugak yang berperangai setan jelmaan. It is very hard when come to personal space and it got invaded. 

Lagi satu I tengok perangai orang Melayu, bila apak ke mak kita sakit, kita dgn automatik nya meng expect mak or pak kita tu dijaga oleh spouse nya. Uihh..agak2 la sikit..kalau samo2 dah tuo, macam mana?

I rasa, kalau kita abaikan makpak kita, tu lagi berdosa. Tapi kalau kita pastikan dia dapat jagaan terbaik walaupun bukan kita yang menjaga, maka..apakah yang buruknya? People are quick to jump to bad conclusion, macam Makcik yg kena tinggal kat hotel budget tempohari. Masa cerita tu baru keluar, no one seems to want to give the woman's child a thought. Macam2 statement keluar, mak can jaga sepuluh anak but seploh anak cannot jaga one mak. I saw different. Mak got left at a hotel, bukan mesjid. It turned out a different story altogether now and I hope those to dissed the anak, can eat your nice words!

Then also keluar cerita mak/pak yang kena abandoned oleh anak2. Can you blamed the anak when they also got abandoned by their parents? How can the anak grow up to care to love their dad, kalau perangai bapaknya dulu serupa pak ayam? Of course set set Tenggang exist. But very rare.

Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat, dah memang sepatutnya menjaga kebajikan, sudah2 lah nak tolak ke anak pulak. It is about time, goverment yang makan hasil cukai, start taking care of the vulnerable.

Mana2 yang berduit sekarang...simpanlah. Kita takleh paksa anak2 kita jaga kita. Hambiklah insurance premium tinggi2 besok2 kita nak nak masuk care home, takyah gi mintak derma.

We cannot force people to care. Because some people just don't..although di tunjuk kat depan hidung dia pun.

The Story People Tell....

Reading Ministry of Health monthly bulletine is part of my research now. Pandai2 betul yang menulis article tu. Or..sememangnya budak2 yang amik medic ni pandai2 belaka?

Talking about budak pandai, I recently moan to my new friend...err, the one I had to socialised with that I find Malaysian tak suka acknowledge email. Everyone ada email account tu...sik maok kalah masing2..but bila you hantar email, dalam 10 adalah sorang yang jawab.

I told this lady, I find it rude. Ye lah, email tu serupalah macam kita bercakap dgn orang..so kalau orang tak jawab cakap kita, tidakkah mereka tu kurang ajar namanya?

At least acknowledge lah..okay I received yours...I'm a bit occupied with something else, let me give you a proper rely in couple of days. Yes, in England we ALL do that. 

Well, since last December I have got used to set-set 'kurang ajar' ni. I senang saja, when there's an opportunity to speak, I bagitahu saja, you kenapa..and followed by my piece of mind. Ada hati lak tu pi ngadu kat orang I marah2 kann? 

I find Ministry of Health punya employee semuanya allergic dgn email. Maybe the only internet thing that they can cope with is Facebook. Any email that bore queries etc, akan tidak dilayan. Period.

Okay, actually I nak buat post pasal cerita yang keluar dari mulut orang. I went out for a quick drink with this supermodel from KL recently. Ohh, I bukanlah kawan dia ye uols. I happened to meet up this guy for a drink so he got a call from this visiting model..and off we went. At 40, she is so cantik. 

I read negative stories about her and this lady has had her fair share of being victimised but I really like her 'pi mampos lah kau' attitude. I think in a job like hers, you can't take everything seriously. But the whole we were at this bar and all I can think of is the bad press. Tu satu, sokabar will tell stories based on cerita or sumber 'yang boleh dipercayai' or directly from the horses mouth. Tu pun, subject to the writer's interpretations. One blogger dedicated an entry to 'masak' her cukup2 just because si supermodel ni tak layan dia. The blogger, using her right to blog mula la pi cakap betapa perangai si supermodel ni teruk. You dah sakit ati, maka orang lain seantero dunia pun kena tahu you 'terluka' dek supermodel tu.

Jumping into work that expose you to segala macam mulut, I guess one need to be prepared that not everyone want and can understand you. People are so ready to talk about you.People are ever so willing to expose what is not 'normal' about you.

My question is...why lah people so cruel? 

I have friend who tried to korek rahsia about someone. Dia cakap dgn I dia kenal sipolan kawan I ni...but yang I heran, kalau kenal, apsl korek cerita from me? Pi lah tanya orang tu sendiri, kan? But I cakap, although I am close to this person, I really don't know much about their 'kain dalam'. (and if I tahu pun...I takda sebab nak cerita kat you..god knows kat mana cerita tu akan travel)

So I balik Malaysia and I met our mutual friend. Si friend ni tanyalah kesahihan cerita yg dibagitau oleh situkang tanya I tadi...I ask, apa yang you dengar? So sipengorek rahsia using tah mana2 info dia dapat from this person unsuspecting friends, pun kompanglah kat orang yang si someone I know ni sekian-sekian ceritanya. 

And of course, I was named as one of her sumber. Macam sial aje. Maka I pun tanya, what exactly did I say? Cannot answer. Of course I bengang..because 1. I tak lah berapa rapat dgn si tukang karut tu. I rasa I tak rapat dgn dia, but dia pi cakap kat orang dia rapat dgn I. Nak gak I tanya, have you been to my parents house in Paroi? Tak...2. I really like this person (the one sipengarut is talking bad about) and I see no reason nak bercakap hal dia. Okay lah, you might not like what people do...but selagi benda tu tak mengacau you, apa perlunya you nak bersengkang mata berkompang hal orang? 3. When I asked what is my contribution of the person story, sorang pun takleh jawan dgn tepatnya melainkan..ohh..sipengarut mulut P**i Ayam tu cakap, ohhh dia tahu sebab Makji yang cakap. And dia cakap kat orang2, dia adalah close dgn I, bley? Babi sangat! And we also found out, orang2 yang sipengarut ni kata dia kenal, semuanya tak 'berapa' kenal dia. 

I must say, at some stage..talking about people is a fun thing to do, especially if kita menyampah nak rak kat orang yang kita kata tu. But do we really call ourselves 'a reliable source' bila nama penuh orang tu pun kita tak tau?

Or, nak claim to fame tapi salah fakta, apa kejadah nya?

Satu lagi contoh. A VIP friend (ohh my claim to fame, but seriously, there's days yang I rimas dgn orang ni dek mulutnya) called me out for dinner with him dgn this mega2 VVIP. Being a katak yang dok kat bawah kotak (sebab tempurung tak ada) I don't know anyone. I pernah kena introduce dgn adik ipar tak jadik I...masa tu I tgh minum Diet Coke, maka tercampak can coke I sebab secara automatic nya I feel the need to press my palm together and 'sembah' her. Sangat overrr tau...but it seems like a right thing to do since she is the daughter of a Sultan.

Ada kawan I ni yang hobi nya suka propah...yes, its a hobi. Pathological liar that is...pernah bagitau I yang she knows of a story of some VIP wife got caught by her hubby whilst frolicking other man. Tup kena cerai. Yang menagkap tu is that VIP alongside her (this kaki propah) sedara. So, because of their relation, she got the berita exclusive. Dia kata lah. But of course, cerita tu tipu.Until now I don't know why the story was told. People like making stories that bila certain VVIP take up another wife, this 'another' wife mesti kena duduk oversea. London particularly. Doesn't make sense. You think VVIP nak buat chenta jarak jauh ni? You ingat VVIP ada ke masa nak skype, Facetime bagai? You ingat si VVIP yang maybe kubur pun dan kata mari tu larat ke nak berterbang 13 jam just to visit bini nya tu bila turn orang tu? Ye, memang ada VVIP punya wife yang dok London nun...but itu pun dah kes telur hujung tandok (oops! exclusive) plus, diorang tu baru je bebaerapa tahun dok London and before this the husband/wife dok kat KL.

Cerita orang, kan? Kalah CNN.

Jewwwwwwwn Is Here...Bebehhh

Selamat menyambut bulan June...dari saya, swomi dan anak-anak. Walaupun saya telah beranak dua, saya adalah slim. 

Ohh...selain dari mendapat gading bertuah, chentekk dan pandai..state swimmer dan berdarah pan asian...adakah sebab lagi untuk anda mencemburui saya?

Sekian. Silalah cemburu sampai lebam...(hikss....)

Psstt...Cik Kiah, saya adalah setahun lebih muda dari you...kerana saya lahir tahon 73. Bukan 72. Tak kisah lah bulan berapa..2012 tolak 1972 ialah 40!