Update

Hari ni tadi Boss paling besar dalam organisation I, mintak nak jumpa I. Well, message nya dapat semalam...tapi hari ni lah baru ada kesempatan gi jumpa pun. Diva lah sangat kan I...


Well, that is the mukadimah. People I work with has been making suggestions on how to improve my femininity. Wehh...butch cassidy sangat kah I? Takkkk....kata mereka, I got hidden beauty (believe me I so nak muntah even typing this) I was out with my colleague untuk sessi-sessi ngumpat patient & boss recently, and one of the girls tanya, mana handbag I. So I told her I am not a handbag person. Or make up...for that matter.

So this lady tanya, so where do you put all your stuff then? I told her that all my stuff is in my multi purpose bag. Then bila dapat bas on the way nak balik umah, bila dok sensorang kepala melayang..I dok wonder..why lah I tak nak pakai handbag ye? Adakah kerna handbag tu sangat kecik and leceh dan tidak practical for me who is only into big things ni. Or is it cerita rampok samun handbag yang membuatkan I tidaklah sesungguh hati nak ber toting handbag like mak datin kulu kilir? Then all that persoalan dalam kepala concluded dengan fakta sebenar yang...I ni..tak berapa suka handbag. Suka..suka la h jugak..but kalau nak gi melaram boleh la kan...but, how many times lah sekarang ni yang I keluar melaram nya pun????

I ni selalu dapat compliment, orang kata (lembu tokleh cakap bahasa yang kita paham kannn..kalu tak sure lembu pun kata) kulit I cantekk...so I see no purpose of menepek mekap. I am shit-scared of celak mata..or any bahan pencantik muka yang ada kena mengena dengan mata. I have tried...and sebelum situkang taruk celak hilang sabar and cucuk bijik mata I with the celak instead, so I better say my peace with celak. I can still tahan Mascara..but apa jadahnya kalau benda tu ended up akan mengaburi spek mata ku dengan corak-corak Zebra?


But since umur pun muda sikit je dari Kiah (fact is..Kiah lebih tua dari I) I have to befriends with Boots No.7 and Olay, demi mengurangkan garisan contour di muka ku ni. Walaupun umur makin tak muda, muka mestik maintain muda.


Going off a tangent sikit...my raya was okay..takdela siapa yang volunteer nak jadik Neng Yatimah ke..Azean Irdawaty ka...or any other pelakon cerita tamil for that matter yang suka nangis sampai kluaq air hidung. We organised a Raya get together at our place. Yang menyambut Raya nya adalah 4 orang yang yang lenlain tu hanya tukang datang makan dan memperabihkan wine free hadiah Xmas tahun lepas orang bagi kat I. That's the closest thing I can get to celebrating Raya and I wore my recycle baju kurung. Okaylahh...I called my mother the first thing and mintak maaf zahir batin. I was quite pleased with myself, because masa raya depan mata dia pun, I jangan kata nak salam..mintak hampun pun tidak sebab busy nya menjadi stewardess raya pertama tu. (Alasangggg kan? Soheh anak derhaka aku ni, but like I said in my previous post...I have funny ways of showing affection to my parents)


In my lifetime..I only ever owned 3 handbag. My first handbag was from my ex. I don't know why he bought me a handbag...adakah kerna aku dok kulu kilir mengendong knapsack? Well...one of the sweetest things he did was to buy me a present with his first pay. He was in that KLCC project and his first pay was melekat into Suzuki Vitara & my Bonia handbag. Tapi..apa guna hadiah tanpa kata-kata...(sob..sob..sob..) Wehh..aku bukanlah pompuan materialplestik!!!


My 2nd handbag was a LV, specially made for us in SQ. (Kau ado, Qatar Airways???Takdo...) But, I was hardly seen toting one...sebab my favourite past time after working non-stop is tidur. Apa jadah tidur bawak handbag, ye tak???


My 3rd handbag...is a free gift from Body Shop. I'm not into brand. The handbag is so mungil and so practical. But also so kecik. Only mobile phone, inhaler, purse, sanitary towel, lipgloss and kayu sakti kecik I aje (this is another story altogether..) yang muat nya.


So, I am back to my more practical bag. The knapsack yang semua benda boleh masuk, termasuk benda-benda yang I songlap dari opis. If I ada meeting, I will berlagak lah sikit bawak my EA work bag. Mahal bag ni...very impulse purchase, tatau lah apesal. I ni jarang buat kerja bodoh (as in spend beratus pound for a bag) but hari tu, tah cemana, ada kuasa ajaib pulak kat Bond Street tu.


Ada jugak orang dekat-dekat I tegur...eh you, pakailah handbag. Nampak feminine sikit. How can you justify femininity with handbag? Just because women in general use handbags? Maybe. Of course lah, handbags are often used as affirmation of one femininity. As in berambut panjang jugak. Orang la kata...to me, you can look and be as butch as you like and your ultimate source of femininity is the one you possess between your legs.


I recently went out with my Bosses and thought, since this is a official do, I should make a bit of an effort. Heavily intoxicated, my big boss cakap kat I, Makji, don't get me wrong..but you should wear make up regularly and wear dress. I have never seen you this pretty. Should I be flattered to that? Not really. He was drunk. Although drunk people tell the truth, I did not appreciate his compliment one bit. Why?


He knows what job I do and where I usually work. People often say, look good for yourself and not for others. True...is not about what people say, being presentable is about how it makes you feel. But I am too practical. Asking me to wear dress and make up to work is like asking farm lady to wear stilettoes and bawak handbag gi perah susu lembu.


When I first started this job, the workplace is full of peeping toms that I had to asked somebody to accompany me to the loo. I can wear the loosest clothes on earth, hardly any colours on my face and still, I can be accused of 'turning someone on'. When I use to wear skirt at work, I have men waiting under the staircase and out of the blue, unassumed..somebody in the unit knows the colour of my undies.


So infront of me today is the same man who compliments aku rasa nak buang kat jamban. Of course he was not drunk but he is quite blunt with his comments. The reason he called is to ask me my reason for declining to attend the office conference plus Xmas dinner. My excuse has always been that I have to work. I did went last year but I didn't make it to the party. I hate going to work Xmas party. I am the only foreigner. Apparently I have 'accent'. Ye lah..amongs the orang putihs..kan ke accent ku ni accent Melayu Kiah..kannn?


So si tua ni macam nak pujuk I pergi Xmas part, again saying...this is the time you can get all doll-up. Make you feel better about yourself. Katanya si hamlau ni.


I look at him and smile.


I cakap kat dia...I always feel better about myself Sir, with or without being a doll. You know where I work...I talk to the homeless, drug addict and all sorts, who probably would rather spend money on a skunk than buying deodorants.


I would rather get all doll up with my friends or by myself, rather than going to Xmas party where all will end up get very drunk you can't tell the lips are red because of their lipsticks or red wine.


Unless them drunkard pledge not to take the piss out of me or call me Thai Girl, then I might consider. Until that day, I will be having my Xmas dinner somewhere else and not at office do.

-----------> Ni cakap dalam hati...oh, and I will wear make up and use handbag when I want to. Its for me..and not for you. Apa motif I cakap cam ni..tatau lah.

Well, entry ni takde pekdah...but sebelum Kiah sindir I dalam pesbuk...hah..bacalah.