Please, Help (the people with) Dented (personality)

I was in Hull last week. Meriah you all....meriah. Makan meriah, ambik gambar meriah...buat ketupat pun meriah jugak!

Again, it is hard to compete dengan wanita-wanita sejati...they cooked, they cleaned and they do everything all women like moir supposed to be doing.

I opted for more butch role...bawak kereta. Yang tak sedapnya...bila we all kena divert masuk hutan kampung mana yang gulap gulita tu...the every single ladies yang dua orang tu bukaklah cerita hantu.Eh, you all takpelah tido berdua, yang I ni..tido sorang dalam bilik, merasa tidur dalam keseraman!

Being in Yorkshire will always be a nice experience for me, tak kisah lah mana-mana part of Yorkshire pun...but tetaplah Sheffield yang paling glamour sekali. (Sebab ada Def Leppard)

Back in London, I came across bunch of Malaysian students in Earl's Court Station when I was renewing my travel pass. There was this two tudung girls and a matured man.It is nice to see people take pride I what they do. but I tell you that this bunch is too nauseating for my liking.

I am not sure whether it was my anxiety of being the less pandai (saya ngaku la..saya tak pandai macam budak TKC yang dapat straight A's tu) one but the obsession about prestige etc (dah le awak tu biasiswa kerajaan) macamlah bapak dia yang bayar tuition fees.The content of their 'tak kena gaya' conversation biarlah I buat bahan gelak-gelak dengan Social Workers yang lain.

***Style, one must possess, okay?***

Or is this generasi Melayu baru datang oversea ke, Kiah? Not like us yang dah dikerah keluar ke kampung-kampung UK masa kita muda belia gittew?

So, to my friend Widanny, whom kerna chenta opted tak nak fly to UK tapi masuk UM instead. I must say that your quality is far,far better than the one I yang I jumpa kat sini.

To JT, menyampah gila with you aside, but his mentality is far better than that Pakcik PHD.

Dan saya....nak lari tutup muka.

Ciao.

P/s Kiah, andai kata lah kau berubah selepas dapat head damage, kita putus affair, okay?

Lagu Cinta

I got a request, asking me to change the music playlist.

Amboiii..boi...berani ye, suruh orang tukar-tukar?

The song by Chrisye is one of my late ex boyfriend punya favourite, and of course lah, lagu itu ditujukan kat I ni.

See, I ni bercinta zaman-zaman Walkman.That time, lovers trade songs. Asal lagu sedap aje, dedicate, asal sedap aje mulalah buat mixed tape.Tu bila time cinta bahagia.

Bila cinta mula menjadik puaka, mulalah cari lagu...jangan kau hujani ku dengan pertanyaan...or everything Chris Vadham lah...Adam Ahmad lah, and pakat-pakat nangis macam nak pengsan bila tengok pilem Sora Kekasih...., ini sebuah kisah cinta....meeeeeeeeengapa dunia kejammmm pada mereka yang bercinta.Wah!

Budak-budak sekarang ni, at the height of their love story bantai buat video lucah lah, ambik gambar masa tak pakai baju lah...anything incriminating untuk dibuat insurance masa sakit hati (kesian kau Elizabeth Wong)

My late ex was a musical person. He always come up with songs that has a meaningful lyrics.I am such a low maintenance girlfriend that one mixed tape silenced all the bad treatment.Dia lupa janji, dia lupa birthday...semuanya dimaafkan.His mixed tape for me was a symbol that my boyfriend do care and realise that I exist.

Orang lain dapat more than that, I never would compare.Orang lain boipren telepon hari-hari and my boipren telepon I bila dia bosan takde menda nak buat.Pun hati tetap chentaaaaa.

Before he died, he made me a mixed CD. To my surprise, he remembers everything.Every songs he ever dedicated to me (or bila dah terlepas, barulah you memulas pala hotak mengingat benda lama ye?)

Kangen was one of them. He left UK a year before me, kununnya to prepare for us.This was dedicated to me after he left and lagu nilah yang I dok pasang hari-hari, yang I dok dengar hari-hari dalam bus No.80 from Flat Street to the Uni.

So, I suggest to you yang mintak I tukar lagu tu...as much as lagu ni membosankan you, this song really mean something to me.

Nearer the time, I shall upload more After 7 songs, also our favourite.

Ta.

Mari....Meng 'google' Kekasih Lama

I was really bosan berdarah (bak kata N bukan nama sebenar tu..eh makcik, apa nama kau sebenarnya ni? Rosnah Mat Aris ke or Norish Karman?) pasa suatu ketika yang ku tak hingat bila and I pun mulalah membuat research-research tak perlu dalam internet.

The beauty of the world wide web.I was googling kisah-kisah hangat, orang-orang hangat and gambar-gambar hangat. Kiah, I am not downloading gambar separa bogel ye? Why should I? Kalau takat nak tengok pink n*pples,dalam Sun banyak. Dalam daily Sport jangan kata lah. Kat kedai Kelly tepi jalan, magazine-magazine on the top shelf tu penuh dengan reading-reading materials kesukaan Kiah. Pompuan jantan tak cukup kain. So to google internet for that materials kiranya dah tak bermakna lah Kiah oii. (pssst...adakah kau mau aku kirimkan kau satu?)

I am quick to run out things to find out and mulalah tangan start to type nama-nama orang yang pada suatu masa tu penting dalam hidup I tu. I googled the late, keluar lah articles pasal his work (my ex was with the electrical technology) yang aku sungguh tak berminat nak baca. See, I happen to know Engineers, even my sister is one, but apart from making the victim (of the Engineering world) turning into arrogant bastard (sambil pose tutup-tutup muka kat kengkawan Engineer) you people have the most boring job. Nothing to gossip about.

So biasalah...lepas satu, satu. Did I said, I pernah dating dengan satu Mamat ni, well, masa chenta baru berputik tu (his side la, bukan aku) he was a budding businessman on the verge of becoming a millionaire.

All my friends lectured me into becoming steady with him. Ye lah...masa tu my choice of BF semuanya sewel-sewel belaka (or aku yang sewel) ada yang bercinta bertahun-tahun buat penat tak kawin and after that, seorang budak hingusan ni yang bercinta meleleh pulak dengan I sampai I naik semput, tak sempat turun kapalterbang, dah menunggu dengan bunga-bunga ditangan....depan-depan kengkawan puaka I. Bila dah solo ni mulalah terkenang balik, what more could a girl ask for, dah ada yang sanggup tak tido malam, tak makan, tak minum and mandi tak basah and with his meagre salary, sanggup tu berhabis beli bunga, hantar bunga to me.Only I am not a bunga person and his gesture really made me semput and suffocated!

Then, I was introduced to this guy from Kelantan, a successful contractor, driving flashy cars.Kita orang pompuan ni selalunya kalau dah selalu sangat unlucky, bila dah jumpa yang kelaku hok molek-molek tu (this guy, eligible,avaliable, kaya...pendek sikit from me) patutnya bersyukur lah kan?

Yes I was, at first.I thought, this is the time lah I nak menunjuk dengan sedara mara ku, dapek gak den menyambar orang kaya.He often left his flashy cars with me bila dia pergi business trip and kereta mahal dia tu ku gunakan untuk mengangkut kengkawan gi makan kat Uptown. Although being with him actually making me menjilat balik kata-kata ku di zaman Jurassic dulu (I shall NOT be associated with orang Kelantan), I thought, now is the good time to learn the lesson to not speaking too soon or out of turn..(speaking of which, I did tried 'aku mencikkk Raja Nazrin...',tak jugak dia kawin dengan aku kan Kiah?) So, I was really busting my gut to go out with him (walau hati tak berkenan) but bak kata orang-orang tua, maka kita orang pompuan kalau nak carik laki, biarlah yang sayang lebih kat kita...heh!

The more I tried....the more hatiku tertutup. Suddenly everything about him is annoying.I made him cry, I made him sad...I made him angry.He was such a controlling git, sampaikan dia sanggup tu pi carik I dalam DV8 (ada lagi ke tempat ni) and siap pre warned me every Friday night, 'kalau sayo tahhhuuu awok tubik gi Disco, sayo ake maghi tarik awok keluarrrr'. Cih...berani nya dia warning-warning I camtu?

I never tried to be a good girlfriend anyway so in the end he just got fed up and that made it easier, but I can't help feeling guilty tailing him along...for a good one year.

I left for Melbourne without even telling him...and after that, I heard that he made his millions.

So just now, I googled him. He is a CEO of his own company (goodness, there's more than just making houses) and tambah memecahkan jiwa, he is a 'Datuk' now.

I don't know if he is still single. He was a choosy man.

But still, kalaulah....again I never know if we jadi dulu, now ni dia dah start mengorat artis mana nak dibuat bini nombor 2,3.Orang kaya lah katakan...

p/s I got his email address. (ceh..awok dah panda komputer deh lo ni?)

Aku, Dia Dan Makcik Pakiam

Weh..siapakah dia? Dia adalah psychiatrict nurse (CPN) for makcik Pakiam. Apakah kena mengena dia dalam kisah I dengan Makcik Pakiam ini? Banyak kena mengenanya...although I am assigned to work with Makcik Pakiam, si CPN ni adalah orang yang bertanggungjawab terhadap Makcik Pakiam dalam sepital ittew dan dengan dia lah aku kena buat janji sebelum bertemujanji dengan Makcik Pakiam.Dan dia ni...macam siyallll perangainya!!!!

I really hate to think that one's profession can assume one's personality.But selalunya nurse-nurse yang jaga OG, selalunya gils-gils gak. Tak gils pun, perangai macam orang gils. Iskk..jahat mulut I. Before, ni set-set orang yang tak kenal I lah ni, yang selalu ingat kerja I ni meng 'analyse' orang, padahal taknak ke tanya diri sendiri tu, kau tu lawa ke, popular ke or interesting sungguh ke untuk aku berminat? Blah lah lu. It is just sad and bad that we Social Worker are assigned to pick up the bad pieces is people's life.Kena gunakan kekuasaan sendiri bila seseorang tu dah tak ada capacity nak menjaga hal ehwal dirinya sendiri.

Si CPN ni, I have resigned to calling him Robert Mugabe (he is Zimbabwean you...) dah dua kali menyakitkan hati I.Just because kau ada nursing qualifications, kau memandang rendah betul kat kami-kami yang although takde lah belajar cara-cara memegang syringe or menebuk rectum to insert diazepam, tapi kami taulah bila masa seswai/tak seswai seseorang tu patut di sedate.

My meeting with Makcik Pakiam the other day wasn't a fruitful one.Pasalnya, Makcik telah didadahkan oleh Robert Mugabe ini.Pasalnya? Nurse-nurse kat secure unit tu dah terjumpalah spliff ganja dalam ward Makcik Pakiam ni. So kononlah nya sebagai pembasmi anti dadah, si Nurse ittew telah merampas dadah tu dengan rakus nya.Okaylah...saya terima itu adalah regulation hospital, no illegal substance is allowed but, dah tau Makcik Pakiam ni berpenyakit and pulak tu ada appoinment dengan aku, perlu ke nak dipanaskan hatinya? Slow talk-slow talk dah lah...jumpa dadah, okay...lay down the rules, cakap dengan dia baik-baik.Takyah ugut, takyah buat drama rampasan dadah merbahaya depan-depan orang.Bila orang tu mengamuk bahan dia kena rampas, nak mudah kerja, kau bagi dia cucukan berapi tu ye? Siapa yang susah? Aku jugak.

When I saw Makcik Pakiam, she was already in a straight jacket, looking at me longingly...obviously under the influence of entah berapa mg Diazepam. I can understand if you decided to sedate someone bila dia datang acu pisau ke dengan kau, tapi kalau takat menjerit maki hamun main tolak-tolak, takkanlah sampai nak bagi ubat pelali kot? Ingat gajah liar ke?

I questioned Robert Mugabe's decision to allow her to be sedated.Robert Mugabe kata it was really necessary. I cakap kat Robert Mugabe, she was not dangerous.

'But she brought cannabis in, that's illegal. If she keeps doing that, she is going to have a relapse.'

'She is already on anti-psychotic, to have relapse after a few spliff is highly unlikely. Why can't you just segregate her for her to calm down.It is probably all her built up anxieties'

'I know what I am doing'

'I'm not saying you don't, but I'm just wondering why you have to sedate her just because of that.It is not like she is wielding knife'

'I don't appreciate your comment'

'I am in the capacity to give my opinion. I will be speaking to the Consultant about this'

'Suit yourself'

Ptuihh..suit yourself katanya kat I? Siaplah kau nanti. I spent 15 minutes alone with Makcik Pakiam. Nothing much to do dengan dia ala-ala Zombie mode tu. I got a closer look. To my horror, Makcik Pakiam body is full of scar and one very distinguish one under her chin. Ala-ala kena pisau githoo.

She is the same age as me. She was young, she was happy and she was sane.Thinking to what extent people can set out to ruin your life really scares me.And this is from the people who are suppose to be loving her the most.

I used to think my Ayahanda begitu kejam merotan I dengan kayu hockey (pasal I sepak my sister) but I don't think he will sampai hati to inflict such pain to me...and he will not force me to marry someone I don't love.

Amma, Appa...I lap you.

Update

I have stop speaking to F since the last 2 weeks.Panjang cerita you all.....

So this year takde nya Valentine, special meals or bunga-bunga cinta lestari berserta cekelat from the other half.Yilek.Nada.

The last time we spoke, the decision has been made.I was not the one who made the decision.

So today, I was allowed to go back to the flat to collect my things. The flat was emptied between 12 to 3pm for me to come over and for us not too bump into each other.

I only managed to pack my hair dryer, posts, few shirts and socks and toiletries. I was out after 1/2 hour.

Everything was exactly where they are. I left a note telling that I can't pick up all. I also said that I was sad and cried.

Throughout the day, I tried hard not to make anymore empty promises. In the end, nobody tried anything.

Maybe this is for the best.

Update

Mr Reading prodigy has finally (agaknya lah!!!) come to his senses.

Let me start this with a little note to all, I am very bad with mobile phone. I don't spend money on it, in fact, I got it for free from Bodakfone. I have been with Bodakfone since 2000 and with all their loyalty scheme, I now received 500 texts, 750 minutes free calls to any mobile networks and FREE calls to landline. Because I refuse to carry work mobile, my opis eneded up paying my mobile bill. So, everything is free for me. Tapi orang tu, janganlah nak sexcited gila nah...free calls does not entend to calling-calling orang or hantar text to KL. So, janganlah memalu gunakan YM or Skype to berborak dengan aku ye?

The connection between Abang Reading tu dengan cerita diatas ialah, the only mean of contact between us two ex school non-lovers is through mobile phone. Meh ni nak bagitau kat you all

1. I takde lunch break...I work all hours I am required to work and that I makan when I have time. So for those yang ingat that I can make time to chitchat during lunch break I, takde makna nya you. Kenkadang I makan lunch pukul 9 malam, tu pun kalau MB rajin nak masak. Tak pun, bila-bila I melintas depan Tesco, I akan rembat satu prawn salad and duduk kat bawah pokok bersila panggung ala-ala anak dara suntuk eating my lunch.

2. I ni takde fixed place of abode...working environment wise. I have been allocated 25 cases and they are all scattered around London. So, I jarang ada kat opis and heavily depending on my mobile. Yang jadik masalahnya pulak, I ni pekak. Bila I dengar telepon bunyi, I selalu kata...ohh, that's yours. And even kalau I dengar mobile I bunyi, telepon tu tah diamnya dalam celah-celah bag berjenama NETTO I, and by the time I jumpa telepon tu, terus dah jadik missed call.

3. I am so bloody moody. Silap besarlah siapa yang telepon masa I baru keluar meeting yang menyeksa jiwa raga.

4. I don't like strangers...pasalnya, orang yang I tak suka selalu menyamar jadi strangers pastu pakat-pakat telepon my mobile pakai nombor private. Wah!!!

So sesiapa yang telepon pahtu I tak jawab...or hantar message and most definitely I lupa jawab...maka maafkan diriku yang pelupa dan pemalas ini. Bukan you all aje, mak bapak I sendiri pun I tak tepon you...

I selalu dapat missed call and text mesages from Reading Prodigy tu. Out of 50, maybe 5 kali aje I replied. Bukannya hapa you all....kadang-kadang by the time I free, masa tu dah pukul 12 tengah malam. Orang jantan ni...nak nak yang set-set psycho ni, kalau nak ditelepon tu kenalah kita ni buat risk assessment bagai. Buatnya I ter call masa dia tengah memukul telur, tak ke naya? Worst still kalau I call dia masa dia tengah berjiwang-jiwang or ber kuciwa-kuciwa...tak ke lain jadik nya?

Ikutkan hati...nak aje memutuskan persahabatan. Tak kuasa dah nak dengar masalah rumahtangga dia tu. Kalau bangsa nak mendengar cakap takpa lah jugak. I keep thinking why aku masih kesian.

Why do women do it? Why do we remain ever hopeful? Why do we keep trying to be nice?

I talk to my colleague about him. Together, we try to analyse me and him...kenapa aku walaupun dah menyampah tahap gaban, tetaplah jugak nak maintain contact and orang tu, walaupun dah ku maki-seranah-hamun, tetap jua nak mencari-cari I.

My colleague reckoned dia syiok kat I...tapi bukan syiok genuine ni. Ye lah...bila kita dah desperate, apa saja pun akan disambar. We will flirt dengan anak kambing sekali pun, just to get out of being alone and there is a possibility that we need prove to ourselves yang kita ni masih ada aura Mawi..(cehh tu dia..mana aku dapat ayat ni?)

Come to think about it, the only thing that I heard since we been reconnected is about his wife. Desperate sungguh nak bagitau I betapa merana nya dia tu.

I have been out with guys that have been dumped. Yang serial dumpee pun ada. But most of them moved on lah...because they never talked about their ex. I think my chenta agung pun ada makwe masa dia kat ITM Arau dulu...he only mentioned it once (tu pun pasal aku tanya) and khabarnya, he talked about me to his ex wife...over and over.

So, on my way to meet Makcik Pakiam, and I have a little free time in my hand, I called him. With 5 missed calls and a weird sounded text from him. I decided, okaylah..telepon lah.

So, this time, he missed my call. So I left a message. I cakap dengan voice mailbox dia yang I received his text and now returning his call.

Just before midnight, he texted back....(aih..apasal dia tak enthusiastic pulak kali ni?)

'Hey, sorry for the late reply, but thanks for calling me. I know I have been a pain lately but it will be nice to catch up over coffee. Call me when you're free to meet'.

Wah..takde langsung unsur-unsur paksaan. Usually I am not that keen but Kiah is so desperate for continuity for his story, so I will make a coffee date soon...(tunggu aku balik bergaloks dari Hull lah noh?)

Cheerio!!!

Alasan Untuk Ku Percaya

Ceh tajuk...but I promise you, some years ago there was a drama titled the same on the telly...if I am not mistaken by Ajis Em Osmang.Tak ingat pulak lah if sedap ke tidak.

To rIEya, teruskanlah tengok criminal mind.What you said about using reverse psychology technique to betul lah...bukannya tak boleh pakai langsung, but obviously in Criminal Mind tu, such had to be used for patient with forensic mental health...obviously because you're after something like confession ke, apa ke.So senanglah nak prosecute kan? In my work, the only thing that we're after is the progress of their mental health, to the better...so saya tak memerlukan confession or any barang bukti or tanya kat mana sijahanam tu pi tanam pompuan-pompuan yang dia dah kidnap bagai.

Ada orang (and another orang) tu kata...dia busy melampau and takleh nak update blog.Harini ni tadi I nampak dia dah hupdate blog dia...but, who cares about tikus, monyet and hingus? Where's the usual moan, protest and grotesque? Still, orang got liberty to request that hupdate at least 3x sari.

And another orang...now ni suka benau main gertak-gertak ye? Bila I suruh dia buat blog sendiri...dia kata nanti dia takde cerita lain dok blogging pasal siamang sumbing nya.Tell you, cerita cam tu lah orang yang dahaga gossip and kata-kata perangsang ni nak baca sesangat.

Alasannnnnn sungguh...PHD lah, siamang sumbing lah...

I sebenarnya nak hupdate pasal si Jade Goody tu, ala...contestant Big Brother tah tahun berapa tah..and 2 years ago, dia sama mak dia and boifren dia pi pulak masuk Celebrity Big Brother. Tup-tup. pi gaduh lah pulak dengan Shilpa Shetty, hah kau..satu donia panggil dia racist! (Tapikan uols...at the risk of uols nyampah dengan I...Si Shilpa Shetty tu boleh tahan gak mengada nya, manalah orang tak bengang.Sekarang ni kat sini, orang tak berkulit putih kalau rasa tak kena aje mulalah menuduh kawum-kawum putih ni racist...tabbaik tau!)

Jade Goody ni actually masyhur kerna kebangangan dia...nak kata bangang sangat tu takdelah, ni semua bangsa low sense of vanity, benda yang rata-rata kita rasa malu dengan segan nak yunjuk kat orang, Makcik ni pulak tu diah tunjuk terang-terangan.Ala-ala Azean Irdawaty lah ni...pada suatu masa, hati pilu nak kena saman berjuta sebab langgar contract tah ke hapa...sampai orang kutip derma amal nak tolong bayar duit lawyer.I think somewhere in the line, si tukang sue tak nak proceed ke hapa, so terlepaslah Makcik Yan ni.Pastu pulak...Makcik Yan ni khabarnya pi lah tempat rawatan muka nak buat jerawat ke hapa...tup-tup tah hapa salah muka dia jadi mangkak and dia terus nak saman kedai tu although she was offered quite a hefty sum of apologetic gesture.(Muka kau yang tak kena...nak salah kan kedai lak!!!) Bila I baca that news, I tengok, muka dia takdelah rosak teruk gila tapi katanya demi prinsip, musti mau saman jua.

Teng-teng-teng....unfortunately for her, dia kena cancer.Kesian dia.With all the money she made since berlakon zaman Zainal Alam, she had to resort mengutip derma for her chemotheraphy.She was all out...selagi boleh nak tunjuk kepala botak, tunjuk.Biarlah satu dunia tahu Kak Yan ada cancer..huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Jade Goody is now dying.While the sensible soul will want to use apa-apa saja masa yang terluang untuk bersama anak-anak and family, Jade still had time to be photograph for news, telly and mags.Ni dengarnya nak suruh boifren 5sen dia tu kawin dengan dia...biarlah dia merasa kawin dengan buah hati pengarang jantung and pencucuk ATM machine nya ittew. Mamat ni dah terang-terang pi cakap kat kawan2 dia yang dia ni suka kat Jade pasal pompuan ni berharta.

But you never know. I have nothing but very sympathy to both her and the boifren.Gaduh pun gaduh, tapi bila nak bercerai mati, knowing that you will never see that person again, sungguhlah akan memecahkan hati.

Same with Azean Irdawaty...dengarnya sakit balik.In remission katanya.Dalam I tak suka, facing death is the scariest thing.

I wish both of them well.I also wish my parents well and healthy.Silalah percaya kata-kata ku ini...

Update

This is my 500th post.

I have now return to London, hopefully for a definite period of time.Lepas ni, tak taulah kat mana lagi Boss nak hantar, but for sure, I'm untouchable for the next 16-20 weeks, while I am overseeing Makcik Pakiam.

Thanks for all your comments, yang tak terbalas...mana taknya, check blog pun via mobile phone (not sure if this statement bongkak sebab nak nunjuk yang kita ada mobile technology yang canggih) nama pun dah mobile phone, yang kecik ittew...nak baca komen pun naik buntang pulak bijik mata.

I think, RieYa suggested that I apply a repetitive pattern, yakni pi cakap kat Makcik Pakiam tu yang I pun pernah jadi mangsa (tah hapa-hapa mangsa nya) so that she could open up more. Hate to tell you this RieYa, but just in case adalah sesapa kengkawan you mintak nasihat ke, or apa-apa yang memerlukan pengorbanan emosi you, janganlah sekali-kali memakai teknik ini.You can identify with people's problem...but that's it.Selalunya, terlampau repetitive and transer identification will draw more and more attention to you rather than people you should be listening to.Tak semua orang nak open up to people yang senasib dengan mereka as they will see you in the different light altogether i.e. sama lemah cam dia jugak laa...takpun, dia akan rasa you curik petir dia...kan ke dia yang sebenarnya mintak dikasihani?

Hah..Yanz pulak suruh bagitau nama sebenar Makcik Pakiam....bukannya dia baca blog ni pun.Hehehe...kelakar kau.But, the confidentiality remain.I ada jugak terbaca blog-blog yang probably intended to share their experience as a skilled worker, whatever field they're in.I believe even if you blog anonymously, rahsia orang, kesulitan orang takyah lah nak ditunjuk terang-terangan.Unless if you really feel that it is helpful and beneficial to your readers.

Speaking of which, blog I pun takde yang boleh dijadikan pengajaran...lainlah kalau you anti TKC.Hehehe....kesian budak TKC.

Thanks to Encik Sarip Dol, I sekarang ni sangat gigih membaca gossip sampai mengabaikan blog I sendiri.It is very fascinating to see how people reacted to everything.So sebagai buah cempedak diluar pagar, benda-benda macam ni I jadikan pengajaran...ye lah, I ni kan ke bangsa cepat mengamuk? Malaysia Hall takde karipap pun I mengamuk, apatah lagi komen-komen puaka orang yang kadang-kadang tu nak menjatuh kan semangat jatidiri I ni..(nasib baik masa I muda-muda takde PKLN) pengajaran supaya I ni sentiasa mendengar apa orang kata...bercakap bila perlu dan biarkan saja kalau orang nak mengata, asalkan dia bahagia.

So, bersempena post I yang ke limoghatuih, I wish to tell the person who thinks that it is only one sided affair between me and her; compare tu kau tu yang baru masuk TV and dah rasa fofuler, at least aku hupdate jugaklah hari-hari (if not) demi menunjukkan betapa committed nya aku dalam perhubungan sulit kita. So...if you lap me that much...silalah update, hatta memakai telepon canggih tu pun.

I jugak nak cakap kat si Ratu Demand N bukan nama sebenar tu...dalam pada aku slow-slow hupdate pun, dah 5 ratus dah.Ekau apo ado? Nantilah, bila kau dah start bukak blog kau sendiri, siap aku jerit kat dalam shoutbox kau suruh hupdate ari-ari.

Kepada oghang Peghok (ini tak termasuk bapak saya...kerana dia orang Sultan Derih) yang mana bersekongkol denga Kapal Singh, Tuna Singh & Nuar Beghaim, udoh-udoh le.Dengor je lah cakap Sultan...at least ni bukan Sultan yang bangsa tampar menampar orang or yang pamili membernya berr yamsenggggg dalam Tatler. To be honest, I pun malas nak baca apa hal...but it is obvious that this is such an embarassment to orang Melayu. Tak best lah tengok orang gaduh-gaduh.

So, oghang Setiawan sokong sapa?

p/s I lap you, Raja Nazrin.

Ice Ice Baby

I return to London today. Enough said. I dah terperangkap kat dalam opis since Sunday night and nasib baik ada spare baju and toiletries bag, dapatlah I shower walaupun dalam ketakutan kat dalam unit tu...ada satu malam yang hening tu I terdengar pintu shower room tu kena bukak, nasib baik I belum bukak baju lagi..kalau tak, haruslah jadik mangsa sexual assault para wargatua yang otak nya semoneng ittew...seramssss!!!

Misi pertama setibanya I di London ialah pergi mem visit Makcik Pakiam tu. Yelah..kan ke janji nya nak jumpa hari Selasa tu hari, tapi bila dah adverse weather and jalanraya dah ala-ala Ice-Ice Baby, maka terpaksalah di postpone kan.Anxious jugak le I...bukannya apa you all...orang yang emotionally unstable ni bukannya boleh dipostpone/reject sebarang aje. Unlike Kiah, kalau I main cancel-cancel appoinment pun, sehabis kuciwa pun..dia akan hantar message berbunyi 'pant*t ko Esah'.And after that we both are back ber french kissing semula, sambil memakan tahu sumbat buatan air tangan Kiah. (isk..lain macam je bunyi nya..tahu sumbat...air tangan)

Makcik Pakiam..woohooo...if you must know Manal...muka macam Cheryl Tweedy, tanpa make up.Muka and lengannya berparut..ni musti perbuatan laki Paki nya dedolu.Ye lah, bukan ke kahwin paksaan...dah le jadik mangsa penderaan seksual,physical and emotional pun ye juga.I was reminded not to ask about her child (apparently dia ada anak lelaki dgn boifren omputihnya 10 years ago) sebab their separation was very traumatic.Isk...yang nulis report ni pun, separation mak dgn anak kan mmg la traumatic nya...especially the mother is the dependable one bukan bangsa beranak and go, main buang kat mesjid,jamban or kubur.

I can imagine masa jaman mudanya, haruslah Makcik Pakiam ni is the type yang every Friday will paint the town red, bangsa Asian yang repressed sesangat takut kat Mak Bapak bila dok rumah.See, pengajarannya...jgn strict menggila dgn anak-anak. I dedolu pun, ayahanda strict jugak...tapi alhamdulliah, my bonda pun levelheaded...walaupun teruk dimarah Ayahanda, kami dibenarnya main sampai ke petang dengan syarat musti balik sebelum Ayahanda balik...kalau tak nanti Bonda takleh tolong kalau Ayahanda rotan.

I tell you, bila I jumpa my patients, bila dah habis meeting...masa I sensorang balik naik bus or tube, I terkenang betapa malang nya nasib orang lain and betapa selfishnya dok mengompen nasib I lah yang paling malang githoo...hard done by kalu.Ada orang dari kecik sampai besar dibuang MakBapak, ada yang dikerjakan dek Bapak sendiri...kesian sungguh.Dah le otak pun tak berapa nak develop, lagi kena aniaya dengan next of kin.Walaupun I ni takde jiwa keibuan macam Kiah, sedikit sebanyak, jiwa kekakakkan (ni buka sistahood TKC ye?) I akan terasa jua.

Makcik Pakiam is a heavy smoker...dalam sepital takleh isap rokok so I pun ajak jumpa bawah pohon jambu githoo..dalam sejuk-sejuk.Makcik Pakiam tak cakap banyak at first and I dok berhempas pulas cari jalan tu break the ice.

'I used to smoke too, you know'

'Really? You don't look it'

'Well, not addicted thankfully but smoking cryptically. My parents are very strict'

'What are you, Chinese?'

'Malay and Chinese mixed...I'm from Malaysia'

'You look too young to be a psychiatrist'

'I'm not...I don't want to be...too hard work'

'So what are you? Are you one of the nurses?'

'I am a Social Worker, like Joseph (bukan nama sebenar)'

'So you're the one that going to get me re house...yeah the nurses told me'

'I might be, but we going to do something together for 15 weeks, before Dr.BrokBrek (pun bukan nama sebenar) discharge you'

'What work? I'm not crazy you know...I just do drugs and some shit. They made a mistake keeping me here.But it is better than being homeless.Lucky I didn't get AIDS'

'Do you still drugging, if I may ask?'

'Just skunk...for fun'

'Cool...I never tried that'

'You're stupid...(she laugh)'

'Well...sometimes.I'm sorry I can't see you the other day.I was stuck in Dorset'

'Yeah..well'

'But I will see you again next Thursday'

'Okay...will I be out by then?'

'No, I don't think so. I'm not in charge for that. I'm only here to give support so that you can move on from here.It may take a little while'

'Shit...those hospital fuckers'

'So, shall we see each other next week? Thursday'

'Okay...can you bring me a packet of fags...the black packet superkings'

Hantu punya Makcik Pakiam.Belum apa-apa dah nak pow duit I mintak rokok!!!!