If Only...

Statement 1.

Saya tak pernah menyeru ataupun menggalakkan penulis kain menulis blog nya dalam bahasa kebangsaan (in my term, bahasa kebangsaan ialah penggunaa bahasa malaysia yang baik serta betul and tanpa adanya unsur carut maruts) Saya menulis dalam bahasa tak kebangsaan ini bersebab. Salah satu daripadanya ialah saya telah terkantoi.Saya juga selalu mengutuk orang-orang sekeliling saya dan demi mengelakkan perasaan murka dan adegan bermasam muka, maka terpaksalah saya menulis dalam bahasa tidak-kebangsaan.


Statement 2.

Saya telah nyatakan yang saya sekarang ini amat sibuk. Kepada mereka-mereka yang semenjak dua menjak ni dah rajin hupdate blog sendiri, perlu diingat, hidup ini ada putaran roda nya.Kadang-kadang atas dan kengkadang bawah.Mentang2 kau ada diatas dan dah rajin hupdate, janganlah kau sesekali mengutuk konsep sawang orang yang dibawah.



Cerita Selanjutnya.

With the recent event yang berlaku kat England sekarang ni (well, actually it happened last year) I am quite wary to tell people what I do for a living.Cepat betul orang nak panas hati. With the Brits attitude yang hanya pandai nak menuding jari...it is normal when there's an incident, masa tu lah masing-masing nak bukak mata pun.


Little Peter Conolly died over a year ago.He lives under the system, the same systems that pay salary to people like me.The system that was entrusted to care/change/control the damage of any potential risk.Many was saddened.I knew about it long before it was publicised.

Generally, I was expected to know it all.Just because I am in the system. I was chatting with someone long ago that how he was ridden with anxiety around me as I may 'analysed' him.

I am no expert.I am finding truth about the world myself.I have problems in many areas like any other person.It is just that I am trained to facilitate people understanding their life.But does does not make mine any better.

We have different attitude in life.Some just want theirs to be completely perfect and in some sense allow it to be fake.Some just flow like water, get whats given and ocassionally menongkah arus.We cannot telll what we really are because we are still living and this attitude change as we change our mind.

I helped some people to make decision and to the extent, I decided what is best for their life. But like any other human, I bound to make bad and wrong decision.

I have numbers of people died under my care.I'm not sure if the decision I made contributed to their demise but the only reason I can still go to sleep at night is by telling myself, that we can only hope that we do our best.

Peter, or Baby P, died helplessly when everyone that knows his plight tried hard to save him.As much as people like to blame or do the 'I told you so'...we can't help to fall for fool, for lies that presented to us.

There's a news today about a mental patient yang dah kena discharged 2 weeks ago and sekarang ni tengah bergumbira merompak and menikam orang.Some will say, dah tau gila, apasal bagi lepas...

Just because dia gila...tak semestinya dia kena kurung 24 jam. And kalau tak dilepas, macam mana pulak kita nak tau yang dia dah okay?


Kesimpulannnya, macam mana kita berjaga-jaga pun...kita akan tertipu and sometime bila terpaksa, akan menipu.We can't help it.

I will be visiting Peter's final resting place this Saturday...tak banyak sikit, terasa guilty juga.There's always, if only....if only...


RIP.