Fib Factor

When I was growing up,my favourite past time, kalau tak main galah panjang hingga bermasam muka adik beradik,I watched Drama Minggu Ini a lot.The whole family did,apart from my father, as he is not always around when I tengah membesar.I don't think I will ever get that pleasure tengok TV sampai tak ingat dunia if he is around as he is so selective of the things we watched and I remember how difficult it was during the process of 'mintak permission' nak tengok TV from him.He is so strict that you have to have accurate answer for 'Why do you want to watch it?', 'What is in it for you that is good?',macam nak interview biasiswa MARA, I tell you.But because of me and my younger sisters that time tergolong dalam category anak-anak solehah,we get our request approved in a matter of 5 minutes but yang selalu jadik mangsa soklan-soklan kejam my father is my eldest brother.Think about it,kind of make sense jugak request nya direject cold heartedly oleh my father because program yang nak ditengoknya semuanya ala-ala bangang gituu...padan muka.

But there is a few things that we can easily get a freeview as some program is a wajib tengok for my mother and her maid.That is that Tayangan Gambar every Friday,Kesuma (tak tengok pun tak pe ni),Bimbingan Agama (hmmmm) and that black and white Drama Minggu Ini every Sundays.Those days, the quality of the programs made by RTM are far better than now,speaking of 7,8 years back since I last watch Malaysian TV.I remember on the verge of leaving, there was this very dodgy program on television called 'Spectra' and some really not even worth to broadcast Cerekarama.You see the same person all the time,expressionless and motionless and most of all, talentless.He or she sure is good looking by some local Datuk's and Sugar Mummy standard but which drama school they all came from,tak tahulah.Their character switches weekly.If they need to become a corporate person, they will speak English even when not needed to and you can see that the whole chicken cackle in foreign language mode is not necessary,when they become orang kampung,they become the most poshest orang kampung who speaks polite text book bahasa, like 'Abang tidak faham kenapa Tijah bertindak begitu...'.Aren't things supposed to be more simple like 'Kenapa kau buat camtu, hah?!!!'.That whole scene can makan up to 1/2 hour airtime and we were all forced to see some ingenuine camaraderie.

I used to choose what to watch or else I would rather watch things like Miss Congeniality berkali-kali.I'm not sure about now but I know when I went home recently,some Malay soap got worse where some suppose-to-be a kaya raya family pakai tuxedo in their own home just to makan dinner bersama.Since when kita pakai Tuxedo dalam rumah? Or is this a new thing that I don't know of?

Speaking of the old Drama Minggu Ini or the olden Malay movies,apart from some really brilliant screenplay,they also have good actors that can cry without eye mo.The story can be so damn good that my mother and her maid pun boleh ikut-ikutan menangis gitu.Especially when they are watching that film about some anak tiri dihambat oleh Mak Tiri and so forth.Haiyoo...waterbag sungguh.

Yesterday, when I finally kemas my bilik (to make way for my new bed nak menyambut Mak Bellabunny datang ni) I also send some of my old stuff to bin.I have this old music in my desktop and some of it was played to me when I was very little and during the Drama Minggu Ini time.Maka, teringatlah kisah lama gitu. I was also talking to one of my friend (who came by and tolong I kemas bilik before we shoot off to Emirates) and we joke about some scenes in drama zaman dedolu yang sometimes tak masuk akal, however brilliant the storyline is. The tak masuk akal or shall I put it 'so kelakar' is the scenes like ;

a) The Terlanjur Factor
You often see that 2 merpati sejoli keluar berdating naik Honda or Vespa bermain tutup-tutup mata kat Taman Bunga,minum pun share satu straw and other nak muntah activity bersama.Okay, that is the day time.When the night is gone and sampai scene pagi, tiba-tiba si merpati dua sejoli ni unsuspectingly ended up atas katil bujang si merpati jantan ni.The female merpati will be seen berkemban dengan kain cadar and menangis teresak-esak and it is so obvious of what had happened the night before. While the female merpati tadi menangis sambil badannya dicover oleh cadar,the male merpati looking not so good himself will then pujuk her from belakang dengan kata-kata 'Jangan risau Milah, Abang Majid akan bertanggungjawab'.The question is, why Milah is crying teresak-esak? Guilty pleasure kah? Nak kata abang Majid rogol dia, tak lah kan? Milah pun mahu jugak lah ni.Another question, how is Milah so confident yang dia akan termengandung just after one shot? But, suddenly after, nak nangis-nangis pulak.Masa tu tu tak nangis ke? Or Milah just menjerit teresak-esak? But the old drama is always like that.Main dulu, nangis kemudian.And for Abang Majid yang kononnya bertanggungjawab tu, podah lah..by the time he put on his crocodile underwear,his 'tanggungjawab' will soon be out of the window.Siaplah kau Milah oiii...

b) You Have To Eat Asam and Mangga
When you're mengandung.Supposedly case terlanjur like Milah.Stupidly,even if Milah and her beau is trying hard to conceal her predicament,Milah is happily showing off the fact yang secara tiba-tiba dia suka makan asam and mangga muda and in between that, muntah kayap dengan teruknya didepan kawan-kawan nya yang lain, and dalam ramai-ramai kawan tu, adalah sorang yang suspect something fishy and startlah bergossip. Kenapa Milah tak makan asam tu dalam jamban aje Milah oii?

c) Kisah Cinta Terlarang Yang Common
If it is not adik beradik terpisah, after many donkey years tak jumpa and then tup tup ter bercinta and finally get told that 'dia abang kandung kau or dia adik kandung kau', other love story yang selalu tunjuk in DMI is bila si Jejaka bercinta dengan anak musuh ketat bapaknya or vice versa or suddenly anak majikan sudah syok dengan orang gaji yang bertubuh mungil (apa ni Montymelly?) and mulalah his Mak Datin mother dengan bongkaknya cakap, oh..dia tak setaraf dengan keluarga kita...tu belum masuk yang anak Pak Haji Dollah bercinta dengan Wong Mei Mei lagi tu...

d) Lupa Daratan Yang Tak Perlu
There is always this anak nelayan or pesawah yang eligible to study oversea until the father have to flog their bendang to support the anak.Tup Tup, the anak balik with awek yang kaya and he become suddenly malu of his 'origin'.He will only come to his senses when his parents is bedridden and started panggil nama anak yang lupa daratan ini sambil batuk-batuk yang keluar darah.To make thing more unbearable, the anak orang kaya who is the anak lupa daratan other half, always turned up to be the nicest one who 'saya tak kisah kalau abang anak orang susah...'.Very cartoon kan?

e) Prodigy Child
We see the anak orang kaya in the DMI always ended up in the criminal activity mainly hisap dadah.The producers are very good at portraying the ever so busy parents, successful businessman yang kerja sampai tak ingat rumah and the wife who are ever so busy berpersatuan itu ini.But,successful businessman kan ada assistant? Tak kan sampai tak balik rumah kot...and Datin persatuan tak kan sampai tengah malam? For whatever reasons, the anak (mak bapak busy sangat sampai anak pun seorang aje, you) become withdrawn, become attached to the orang gaji or mulalah jadik jahat.Haiyoo...I really hate the dialogues yang sungguh too good to be true like 'Bapak aku bagi aku duit, tapi aku takmau semua tu, aku perlukan kasih sayang uhuk..uhuk..uhuk..'.Well, here's my story.Both of my parents work, they hardly at home.Well, they are but not full time.Most notorious growing up child like me akan keluh kesah kalau mak bapak selalu sangat kat rumah...ye lah...habislah program nak main zero point dengan orang sebelah rumah kan? And yess, we need the money, not to buy drugs like that stupid lonely child, but to buy more Kum Kum, Ding Dang or all the keropoks that we simply can't afford.

f) Janda No-No
In the olden days, god forbid you jadik janda.The moment you were awarded that title,the whole entire bini orang kat kampung will put you in alert spot.They will all fear that their laki, walaupun ada yang berwajah hensem sikit dari buah keladi akan disambar oleh janda nan satu ini.Even anak bujang cannot choose you as a possible life partner as maknya akan melarang habis-habisan.The producer is ever so clever to pick the janda character yang muka ala-ala Kate Moss and Angelina Jolie.Siapa yang tak nak? You can never see janda yang muka macam Roseanne Barr or Jackie Stallone. What if you become duda? Tak ada pulak jantan-jantan kampung tu yang bontot panas takut wife diorang menggoda duda yang seekor ni.

g) 30 Minutes Dying Speech
You can get shot or stab violently by some criminal but you can still muster long sentences to your loved one, and for what worse, the paramedic, knowing how critical your condition are, still bagi chance lagi teruna dara ni bercakap-cakap dengan darah membuak-buak keluar dari wound si polan yang cedera parah ni.Mana perginya health and safety awareness mereka-mereka ni?

What else ye? Well, Gong Xi Fa Cai....