This came through my inbox. Sesekali dalam bulan yang berwarna biru, I will take up Cik Sri Siantan role.
But jangan dibuat selalu ya...you know, as much as you ingat I ni kawan you and nak meluah masalah, risks are, apa yang I cakap you takkan suka pastu akan tarik muka. That's fine. Kalau kawan you tu set-set radio rosak i.e. bebalik masalah yg itu tapi action plan nya takda pun..maka jagalah hatinya dgn kata, okaylah..you nak offload, offload lah..I dengar je...don't expect my 2 cents la..since you are happy to hang on to your misery...longer.
The sender, is a married woman with two kids. Husband never show her affection but he is a good father to their two children. This woman recently met a man and fallen deeply in love for the first time in her life katanya (over tau...bila dah dapat gading bertuah, macam gading tu aje lahhh yang bertuah..padahal gading yang lama tu dah ko lenjan sampai beranak dua..ops!)
The woman said, she would love to begin a new life with him (the new man) but it would mean leaving her children behind. She is following the new boipren to his home country. She thinks this is unforgivable.(err, adakah boipren kak tu orang Nigeria kak oiiii? habih la janji manis miewww)
So you want to know what I think, eh?
First of all, I see 4 issues with you now, wahai pompuan kurang kasih saying...1) The state of your marriage 2) The impact of your choice on your children 3) Your new relationship and 4) 'What beginning of new life' would mean.
You said your husband show no affection or barely...what about you? Do you show him affection too? Or you memang set-set nak tunggu orang je buat first move? It takes two for a situation such as this to become entrenched. Reviewing your marriage is an option, though you would need to take the lead. Naturally most women would say...I soooo have tried all that. You know what? You actually haven't. Have lah in a way, but not much. Buat benda dalam keadaan hati yang sakit, where got work, mahh? To understand a person will take years. Even if you dok dengan orang tu sampai dia mati pun, you will still wonder why he/she do certain thing..kan?
This is a situation in which you have to balance what you owe to yourself and what you owe to your family...I mean, well, you are about to break up a family, kan? Leaving your husband, detaching him from his children (assuming you lah dapat jaga anak-anak munyit tu) would hurt both husband and children terribly. If you leave without them...well, I don't know how you will feel. Since we are discussing this, I don't think you leaving is the major problem to you, emotionally.
If you love your children no less, with or without their father in tow...there would be a stability. They will have their home, their father and your love, though afar. If you stay but are miserable, it would hurt them as well, particularly if they feel you sacrificed your happiness for them.
This new man, how well do you know him to sacrifice your convenient? Can you over-depend on him? Do you know about his family and friends in his country? You are together here, out of his context and it will be different when you move to his homeland. Have you ever discussed these things realistically?
Unless you tell us all, I am going to assume you fell out of love with your husband because he don't show you affection. Have you asked? Unless you are this egocentric who feel that love is a one way street, maybe we shouldn't bother about proposing project memikat suami, eh?
Like this ah, only you who knows what is the real problems here. Whether you want to try and revive your marriage, I am sure you have...thought it through. I think...for your own security, write down your options, the pros and cons of each, and also write what you would do if things don't work out. Imagine how you would feel in each case. You need careful consideration. Once you are sure, just go forward without regrets.
Words of advice, mistakes is a good reminder of a next decision making.
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