About Me

Friday, May 23, 2014

Anak Favourite

Okay..here's Cik Siantan in action number two. I don't do personal message ye Cik Kak...I dah pernah bagi personal treatment..kononnya lah nak appreciate kesungguhan orang tu menjejaki tapak kaki I kann..but lepas tu, terasa sempit lak dunia sebab selang selangkah I berjalan, adalah yang pulak bertanya macam-macam..apa I buat, dengan siapa..kenapa etc etc.

Wehh rimas! I tak pernah control hidup orang..so janganlah ada yang nak take control hidup I pulak ye...well, just because you have been nice kannn.

So, sipenulis ni. Minat jugak I baca problem nya but sebagai seorang yang neutral kerana takde anak (unless you want to count my anak kucings) I hope I helped you with your issue.

So, let's talk about favourite child.

It's the unspoken family secret you probably daren't admit it...well even to yourself. You favour one of your children over the others...walaupun puas lah you berkompang I love them all the same.

Preferential treatment is rarely acknowledged and seldom tackled. They maybe talk of Mummy's Boy and Daddy's Girl but I think it is more often used to describe the preference of the anak. Tengoklah kann..budak tu incline sayang kat siapa.

However, such unequal love can cause lasting damage. A favoured child is at risk kena cemburu oleh adik beradik lain lah kira nya...not only that, the kononnya less favoured will have less self esteem and mula lah nak menyalah kan orang.

For parents, as their child grows up, the parents may have their own ambitions for their child and be disappointed if they are not met. Parents have hidden hopes for their child to be talented and popular. I think sometimes parents tend to forget that although memanglah ko yang membuat budak2 tu, tapi budak2 tu adalah individu tersendiri, okay?

Often we don't know why we are tempted to love one child more than the other. Like any relationship there are times when you just seems to click with someone and share the same affinity. When I was growing up, I do things my father like...orangtua tu berabis duit beli Encylopedia...I lah dok menyelak-nyelak (you want to know how I know about all USA Presidents? )

So what if you favour one child more than the other? Natural lah kannn...sometimes I cannot understand all these fusses made by anak KKS yang dok la kata mak pak I tak sayang I.

Kan senang je..kalau mak pak kita tak berapa nak favour kita sangat, maka usahlah mengharap kita nak sayang dia sebanyak lori. Thing is, sometimes..there are feelings yang terbit dari hati kita sendiri. Kita rasa macam ni...and macam ni. It is up to us if we want to use this against us. So what lah kan..ko tak sayang aku (sangat) and I am feeling exactly the same.

Ada orang rasa, dia adalah perfect child, sebab dia dgn conscious nya tak pernah nyusah kan makpak nya. Feeling that, maka dia pun rasa dia adalah sangat bagos antara adik beradik nya. Well, how can you know that..unless you sendiri nak dictate kat makpak you yang I am this perfect child...berpangkat tinggi etc etc and tak pernh nyusah kan uols. Dan I jugak adalah ATM machine.

Hew..Hew..hewww.

Perasaan macam bagos ni...kita diskus lah dikemudian hari ye.

I think as a person, it is really our choice to feel kita ni disayangi oleh mak pak atau tidak. Someone told me..dia rasa pak dia tak sayang dia sebab dia adalah anak hasil accident. Maybe lah..I pun taktau lah kannn sebab idoklah pernah I interview apak nya, but judging from perangai pompuan ni yang sokmo merasakan dunia tak adil padanya, padahal berlambak anak-anak mangsa dera bapak yang lagi gulap gulita masa depan tidak pun mengomplen mengeluh sebanyak dia. So, you have opted to be so miserable and using that ko bukan anak kesayangan excuses, nasib kau lah kannn?

Sometimes s a parents, we bound to feel that we are not close to that 'one child'. There's a child that hardly demand your attention and another that constantly menaikkan darah. Of course you gave more time to the troublemaker and by dealing with it, you may feel triumphed. Ye la..kalau anak tu malas belajar, ko gasak sampai dia rajin, tak ke ko rasa bangga? The quiet one will then go unnoticed as you don't feel that with him/her you achieved much as they have done it all without you.

But being the favourite can come with a cost too because knowing it can engender all sorts of guilt. Ye la...ko kan budak cerdik..makpak bagi lah energy lebih sikit..so yang tak berapa cerdik, macam keciciran perhatian gitu dan most probably not doing as well as you.

Yes, favouritisms hurts but you seriously can't help it. We have our own reason why we like one thing better than the other. However this feeling is best unspeakable....your kids, whether you like it or not, bound to use it against you.

It is in our nature to hurt others too...kan? Cases where you need your disappointment to be heard, you cakaplah benda macam, ye lah..mak kn sayang so and so lebih, and not me. Even if your mak sayang so and so lebih with obvious reason why (say..her first born kan?) and that fact doesn't even lessen her love to you, tetap lah jugak ko nak nyakitkan ati orang tua tu kan?


Sekian. Bye London for now.
 


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