Update Hari Ini (15th Ramadhan)

Honestly, I malas nak hupdate...sebabnya bila kita kurang upaya ni (menahan lapar dan dahaga dan sakit hati kat tempat kerja selama 17jam lebih) otak pun kurang upaya jugak nak memikirkan benda-benda yang positive. You will not like me if I am not positive...that I can say. Buat banyak dosa I saja...dah le ibadat pun kurang.

Today is the 15th day of Ramadhan...and I have completed 12 hari puasa. Apa jadik dengan 3 hari tu? Satu hari terburai oleh kerna sebab yang I sendiri malu nak pi cakap kat orang and 2nd, is because I was desperately ill that I need to insert some remedy. But apart from that remedy yang disupply dek Kiah, I was as good as puasa, sebab I tak makan apa pun...eh tipu...I ada makan chinggam satu. Another one was semalam...yang hangat (hati). I was in Gatwick Airport where I believe my human rights was ridiculed and disrespected. Tiba-tiba syaitan menjelma dalam bentuk Burger King.....and I telah memuntahkan rasa marah, kuciwa dan sakit hati dengan memakan Double Whopper. I wasn't even hungry. But, entahlah....I ni gila kenkadang.

I was asked by someone who read this blog regularly to comment about the recent mental incidents in Malaysia, causing gruesome fatalities. What can I say apart from things you don't already know? I just wish that the family of the mental health sufferer was given proper guidelines and information, signs to watch out for and expect any kind of consequences. 48 hours without medication is crucial and psychiatrict nurse, doctors needs to be called. How bad is one condition? Mild? Severe? What stage is the schidzoid state?

When I was home recently, I made contact with local Mental Health people. Sadly, they're run by volunteers with no help from the Government. But they managed to get by.And, they non-Muslim.Recent cases? Semua orang Islam kan? Pastu pandai pulak panggil Tragedi Ramadhan. Ramadhan kan semua setan kena ikat, so unless setan buatan sendiri macam scientist mercun yang bingai tu, why must they labelled the mental health sufferer in such a way?

Kalau kita yang sihat sikit akal fikiran ni, perut lapar pun rasa nak tumbuk orang, can we imagine those with chemical imbalance dicampur dengan perut lapar lagi? Kalau ubat dah habis, as a doctor, takde ke record nak check bila orang yang vulnerable camni mesti ditolong dengan segera? Where are your duty of care?

Kalau Gaza rajin lah Government nak tolong kan...siap hantar Pojiah Latip lagi...oh Kak Pojiah, sesungguhnya saya tak ngata Kak Pojiah ye. Why can't all GP's develop a database for all mental health patient?

If I am blessed with plenty of money, this is something I want to invest my energy in...kesian. The real victim is always the patient. Bila dah sedar, how can they even live with their guilt?

Another mental case, although tak bunuh or curah asid kat orang is yang tak reti nak bersabar kawin cerai, kawin cerai ni. Wehh...ensem ka lu? (Tell you, I shouldn't update!) Kawin nombor satu..tahan seminggu lebih. For whatever reason..katanya lah..pompuan tu tak nak kasi...dah kau tu pun kena matchmake, kenalah berkenal-kenal dulu kan? Kalau muka macam Richie Riccardo takpala jugak kannn? Ni muka, nak kata cam gorilla ada sawan babi pun ada...tutup mata pun takut. Then kawin lagi dengan No.2.....gaduh sikit...dah nak cerai. Kena matchmake jugak...apasal bang, takde strategy jualan langsung ke untuk diri sendiri? I doubt pasni ada orang nak kawin dengan dia. He'll be lucky if Nenek Wook is still available. Tapi I rasa that Nenek got better taste la...kan Nek kan?

2 hari lepas I ada kerja kat area-area orang Melayu tu. Pukul 1.30pm la camtu. I tengah duduk atas bench and tulis email kat my boss and then came sora-sora Bahasa Melayu dibelakang telinga I.

'Aku kat XXXXX ni. Eh..puasa la, apa pulak. Orang Islam bulan Ramadhan puasa laa...walaupun takde keta jenazah kat sini, iman aku tetap kuat. Islam sejati wa cakap luuuu'.

I turn my head around. Between the hedges I saw him. Still talking on his mobile phone.A mature student I assumed. Talking..while smoking ciggarette..and puffing as he speak. Ye la Bang...Islam sejati la sangat kannnnnn.

Kawan-Kawan yang Jahat

Today is the 2nd day of fasting.Mengenangkan time yang lama serta I ni bangsa tak larat nak bersahur, dalam pukul 5 sampai pukul 7 petang ni, adalah jugak rasa macam nak pitam.I am all by myself this fasting month...I'm sure bukan aku sorang aje, but others too but since the beginning of Ramadhan, I haven't had any solid food apart from Sandwich and some breast chicken fillet mixed with Caesar Salad yang I buat seniri tauuu...ye lah, kita kat sini manalah ada Bazar Ramadhan cam you all kat Msia nun...


I think I have to start becoming a little bit sociable dengan menelepon kengkawan (yang tak lah ramai mana pun) and pi bukak posa makan nasik kat area-area Melayu kat Bayswater sinun...but seriously, apakah motivation nya to travel all the way ke sana, dengan tube lines nya yang suka benar kena suspend tu?


Speaking of being sociable, or the lack of it...my FB account was suspended for 2 days because this guy (kononnya kawan I la ni...) reported me to the administrator, as I was told. Then I realised, infact I felt so loved by friends who texted my mobile phone asking if I am okay...but in the end ghopenya, frantic nak mencari I bukannya apa you all, nak suruh aku gi beli beg Elvavi dia...kawan sejatiiiiiiiiiii la sangat kan kau, Kiah oii!!!!


I know, that this holy month sepatutnya digunakan dan dimanfaat kan dengan memohon ampun dah maaf if kita ni adalah terkasar bahasa ke apa...but I think, get and give forgiveness where the forgiveness is due and not just generally...


I accepted quite few people as my friends in FB, just because they were suggested to me by others. Nak kata kenal sesangat takdelah. We were very,very young when we were in that school, so I doubt la kita memerlukan sangat mereka tu dalam hidup kita. I am too selective, believe me. Facebook has become so impersonal and so business like. But I have nothing against people who use FB as one of their marketing venues...dah social networking kan nama nya...


I don't really mind to be asked personal questions...ye lah..kalau nak tahu, tanyalah kan...I too, would ask if I want to know about you, but I will do it in a way you will feel comfortable with the questions.


Adalah sorang budak buat PHD ni you all...well, maybe dia rasa dia diplomatic ditambah pulak dengan unsur-unsur nak ambik tahu hal I...asked me a direct personal question when we went out, in the presence of other friends as well. Pastu dia boleh boast kan kawan dia, if you want to know...you must know 'how' to ask. True. But I would have expect you have more intelligence and creative with your art of 'question asking' than to 'ambushed' one with that kind of questions.I hope he gets the answer he was after, but I just thought that I should be spared some sort of privacy to release my own private information.


Call me snobbish, but I ni kurang gemar sikit di usik style mat-mat motor ni. I don't like it then and I don't like it now. This one guy keep doing it on my wall, beknown or unbeknown to him yang segala manusia boleh membaca nya...termasuk la adik2 I. Truth is, I don't even remember being accosted by him in school, let alone remembering the episodes (kata nya lah) yang dia cuba ngorat I. Eh..kita tahulah kita ni masa kat sekolah kurang pemes, dah le ghope pun kurang. Tetiba lak sekarang, mengaku pernah mengorat I.

Let me tell you this ye, it may sound sad..but I can count with one hand jantan-jantan yang noticed me at school. Tetiba, sekarang dah ada 3 pulak. Dua tiga menjak ni, I dah dapat reputation menjadi sombong..just because Ailip In Inglen, Kiah. But had they known me that well...they must know that I memang sombong dari dulu lagi.....

I consulted my other schoolfriends, yang rata-rata nya cakap dgn I, Makji, toksah layan laa..dia gurau je tu. Gurau ka itu macam?

Do you count this -------> Makji tu mana nak kawin orang Melayu, dia standard MatSalleh saja. Oii..sedarlah diri tu melayu. Ini bergurau ke?

Or...nak cari jantan yang bagus aje...nak jaga standard la...hah, jadi anak dara tua dah..entah-entah dah janda. Bergurau pesen apa ni?

Mind you, I ni tak berapa kisah lah kalau this remark came from orang yang I betul2 kenal or paling teruk pun if this remark came from orang kampung Pilah ko Rombau Bongek yang unfortunately besedagho mo I ni...yo lah, nak wek canno kan...dah sedagho..tolan yo lah...

Berbekalkan nasihat bapak I, I wrote to these 'village' idiots. Sorry la...den orang kampung yo..tapi kok cenni la perangai, memang kampungan bajingan la sangat. I wrote to them how I feel and what I think of their 'mentality' display.I said that while I am honoured (ayat positive, amongst the negative points that I made) to know them as a friend, I told them that I am indeed quite offended with some remarks and that I want to be respected as a friend and woman, that I can't tolerate such jokes.

The next thing I know, account I kena deactivated. I wrote to the admin and I was told that so and so reported me for using offensive language. I swear that I don't use foul language...(ni juga peringatan kat orang yang suka, kononnya rasa by using the F words tu, to conform the rules of Britannia. Tak kena you..tak jadik...toksah lah nak ber effing effing on matters that doesnt warrant penggunaan kata-kata carutan ini) I am very careful with with my choice of words to them..but I can't deny the kepedasan intipati nya lah. Ye lah..dah alang-alang nak menegur, cakap aje lah yang benar kan?

I had to go to all those trouble providing them with the original message and after 12 hours, got activated again.

It was also a bad timing lak masa tu I tengah angin dengan MC, yang ingat I buat drama sakan tutup FB.

Wah..wah..wah...lepas je I dapat account I balik, (nasib baik lauk pauk I tak rosak ye dalam Cafe tu) dengan secepat kilat nya...I remove and block cipan-cipan ittew.

Why did I accepted them in a first place? Perlukah kita berkawan just because we know the same people...nasib la kalau tak bercakap sepatah haram pun?

FB dah makin menyakitkan hati sekarang....

Update At The Opis

I akan bertukar Boss mulai next week....samada I pun akan ikut bertukar ke tidak ke area dia yang baru tu, belum lah I pikir lagi. I need to ask if I will be better of financially...sebab kalau setakat seropa je..baik la I dok menonggok kat sini and kerja under regime Boss baru yang I dah suspect ada unsur-unsur sawan babi tu. Ishhh....

Banyak kan berita jenayah and tak jenayah yang boleh menjadi tajuk gossip sekarang ni?? Hehehe...ada yang mati kena tembak, tak taulah cemana cerita nya but dua-dua terus meninggal dalam keta. Siapa tembak siapa...or siapa yang diupah menembak, tatau la. Kesiannn sangat, dah la nak dekat nak raya/posa, tau tau tuppp! Mati.

Dek ramainya yang membuang anak sekarang, ada pulak orang nak buat pusat untuk pompuan yang mengandung and another, nak encourage bebudak muda cepat kahwin.

Of course la...bila bab-bab nak bukak centre for the preggers tu, adalah yang tak puas hati, kununnn nya lah nanti akan encourage budak-budak pi membunting pulak. Macam lah budak2 tu sesuka hati nak membunting kan??? Nak sperm donor memasing tu mana pulak hilang nya? Seramai-ramainya pakar psychology kat Mesia tu, takde sorang pun nak volunteer cakap kat tukang-tukang bantah ni, to stop being so hard on budak-budak yang dah terlanjur ni. Those poor mite is in the situation..damn if you do, and damn if you don't. Kot tahu dah termengandung, nak pi gugur, orang kata dosaaaa. Pastu, bila beranak pun orang kata dosaaaa jugak.

With exemption to those yang mengandung tanpa izin i.e. yang kena rogol, those yang tahu berprojek tanpa menggunakan plestik pasti bisa menumbuhkan hasil.So, why can't this be told in the classroom? Ye la, taknak encourage sex before marriage kan..but agama aside la, aren't we all manusia yang kenkadang, sebanyak mana pun ilmu, akan tergoleks juga? Human have sex. Human need to have sex. Too bad sex has casualties if we are not careful.Nak suruh budak-budak kahwin muda...umur berapa yang muda tu?

Woman often got blamed if they fell pregnant, in this situation. The sperm donor terlepas pulak pi menabur baja kat tempat lain. Bila dah terlampau takut, short term solution nya pi la letak budak tu kat mana-mana. Cuba kalau ditolong budak tu siap-siap...ye lah, dah buat salah, salah la kan..tak kan you nak pi bunuh lah budak pompuan tu just because dia terbunting.

Why can't we have centre for the expectant mother yang dah ditinggal dek boipren kelabu asap they all tu? I'm sure, once bitten, twice shy lah kan..tak kan lah dah terlajak this time, she will sewenang-wenang nya nak pi derma p**i they all tu kat mana-mana boipren tak boleh pakai. Next time, she will be more careful.

Malaysia takdak ka morning after pill?

Kan ke patut kalau dah tahu nafsu masing-masing cam anjing liar, pi lah offer pills ke condoms ka kat budak2 tu...nak halang-halang, they all buat lah. dah baligh tu, tanggung la dosa sendiri kan???

Rational is, they will be no abandoned baby, if the baby is not (accidently) made in the first place.

Mona Gersang

There's this things about early 80's school kids stuff yang one of my fren kat FB ni dok korek kasik timbul balik.

Some kids in the 80's adalah beruntung okayyy...mana makpak yang mampu hantaq gi piano class ke, ballet class ke (oh I so wish I was in this two, idok la aku kasaqqq camni kan, Kiah?)

One of many yang digembar-gemburkannya, is this so called sought after book jaman I sekolah dulu....apa lagi, buku feverettt Kiah la ni..MONA GERSANG!

For the life of me, percayalah you all, I hanya pernah dengarrr aje buku ni. Nengok ke, baca nya tak pernah. I know in Konben Somban, adalah sorang Minah ni menjadi librarian tak rasmi buku ni. She is the type yang over bloomed lah kata orang..ni bangsa dari darjah nam dah start pakai kain batik kat rumah and start nolong mak masak. Me? Sampai sekarang pun tak reti pakai kain batik you....the only kain batik I ever pakai is those kain batik yang datang sekali dgn baju kurung. Tu pun kain batik tu ada hooks okay, so, kebarangkalian untuk terlucut adalah tidak pernah unless ia dilucutkan secara voluntary..hehehe.

I am quite unfortunate in this 'blooming' and 'grooming' area. I am closer to Appa, so Appa adalah memberikan training menda-menda practical, like cemana nak beli stamps kat Post Opis, cemana nak tune radio and TV and macam mana nak repair rantai beskal yang terlucut dek bodohnya adik I membawak beskal tapi kayuh terbalik!

Then, off I went living in a hostel yang acara memasak hanyalah maggi dalam baldi. I never have need to memasak. I currently live with MB yang suka (paksarela) masak and kami, I and MB2 yang suka makan. MB1's OCD made our live a lot easier..pasalnya, MB1 tak akan mintak tolong dia memasak and she will then clean her own cooking. Only in good days we have to basuh pinggan..kalau tak, makan kat rumah I macam makan kat kedai you.....mintak makan and blah cenggitu aje.

I then, blessed with kengkawan lain yang pandai masak...macam Makji Eton, Capt Lukman and Diva Diva Europe (ada 2 ni) so, seperti biasa, kalau I datang umah diorang or if diorang datang umah I, I hanya akan jadik mandur aje..tak pun, budak terencat akal.

Speaking of this MONA GERSANG book, I have to say, my call to 'gersang' adalah sangat lambat.Tak macam budak sekarang. So I never have the urge to Mills & Boon or MONA GERSANG, although after SPM masa ramai sedara mara kahwin, I was told about this book called 'Permata Yg Hilang' some prepatory book to the newlyweds. Yes, I do read that book with my other cousins and we giggles sambil bersumpah demi Allah will not kawin and beranak, knowing the process of it. Well, how do we know sex is one of life pleasure at that age, melainkan untuk mendapat anak saja? Bodddoooo betul I.

And my early sex education pun adalah from kengkawan who married early and will drop her anti-climax remark with...can't tell you, you have to get married first. Apakah??? Masa I berterbangan...wahhh....I tell you, if I can say this, MAS and SIA is like one big orgy where people have a bit of everyone....nak kata semua tak lah...tapi, itu ajelah ceritanya yang you dengar. Orang ni tido dgn org ni...orang ni tido dgn Capt ni..FO yang ini...woooiii ai. I maintain that having an affair or indiscretions with ppl you work with is satu kerja bodoh. Why lah? Muka tu jugak kau akan jumpa kan, bila datang kerja?

Now that my sisters and cousins dah berlaki and beranak...they sometimes spontaneously jokes about their sex life, forgetting that I am there. My sisters of course la ada memalu sikit (depan I la malu kot) but this cousin of ours yang mulut kecik sikit aje dari tempayan cina yang ada gambar ular ke naga tu, wooooo....

So, what is the fuss about this MONA GERSANG? Now I nak jugak baca...so Kiah, Miss AA and DR, this is your assignment, get us a copy, so over cekodotss we can discuss this book eh...

***Patutnya dekat nak puasa, cubalah membaca kisah-kisah Rasul nabi bagai kan????**** Tak malu sungguh I..let alone bermoral tinggi.

Update Dalam Kurungan

Bila orang lain tak update, takde pulak I bisinggggg kan???

You ingat I goyang kaki main skype je ke siang malam? (Tu pun kalau orang tu ada mood nak skype lah kan?)

Dua tiga menjak ni, bayak betul perubahan cuaca. Cuaca dalam badan, cuaca dalam rumah, cuaca dalam opis.Cuaca dalam chenta? Kang kalau cakap, bukak elastoplast diluka sendiri pulak kan..so, baik la jangan cerita.

Cuaca dalam badan I adalah mengikut cuaca kat luar rumah yang kejap panas, kejap sejukkkk dan kejap hujan ribut angin kuat. Disebabkan ketidaktentuan cuaca ini, payung I telah hilang. I am not good with payung. My payung have mind of its own.Unless there's a constant needs for payung, I am likely to forget that I travelled with one. So, berlakulah adegan tertinggal payung dalam bus or train. Nasib baik payung tu cipsel Uniqlo £1.00, kalau £10...I musti pergi London Transport lost & found.

Cuaca dalam rumah adalah baik, only 3 minggu lepas, seekor ikan emas telah mati sebab main trampoline dalam air. Pulak tu, MBs pulak tak tau la apesal gi bukak cover tank tu, manalah ikan tu tak nak melompat keluar? I tanya MBs apasal you all bukak cover fish tank tu...not sure if their jawapan adalah bongoks, but they all kata, takut ikan tu panas. Hmmm....rasa nak gelak ke, nak menyumpah? Tatau la...Lots of good thing came to our way of late, which I am quite pleased about.We just came back from Dorset pi menyambut besday MB. Gambar-gambar adalah tak boleh dipublish kat sini or FB, sebabnya banyak betul pose salah laku kitorang dgn anak anjing kepunyaan my Boss. Sendiri tengok aje lah kan, Kiah????

Cuaca dalam opis..hmmm...yang ni macam memeningkan kepala sikit. I am actually offered to take up a post down in Cornwall, yang macam berjuta batu jauhnya dari tempat I yang chantekkkkk ini. Since recession ni, banyaklah cut cost sana sini, so the division I am currently attached to, Big Boss nya dah kena relocate. So dia nak bawak I sekali katanya.Boss thought that since there's a lot of things happened to me in London, I best get away and start anew (she is referring to F) I am quite tempted. But this will mean that I had to live weekdays in the West and balik London weekends saja. I spoke to MC about it yesterday...MC, like always...buat lah apa you pikir bagus for you (not sure if this is an encouraging/supportive words really or just cakap aje) So, I am still thinking.....

In the spirit of wanting to be close to the one you love (mau muntahhhh ke?) I applied for a job in KL. I am due for an interview soon.

But I now have doubts. My mind is not in a good place at the moment. I used to feel like this when I am with Siamang. No, I am not over reacting...I am simply trying to understand people....and me for that matter. We lost sight of ourselves sometimes when always putting others first.

But otherwise, I am good.