Update (Latest)

Percayalah.......when I said that I am insanely busy, my words are true. Tak tipu.Sungguh!!!!

Since January, there is this huge problem at work, and because everyone in it is at risk of being expose inside surat khabar, I am constantly on my toes.See..the reporter in the UK not only like to jaga tepi kain Ashley-Cheryl Cole and John Terry, they also like to jaga tepi kain Social Worker like me.We often got critisised because of the decision we made.

Somebody dengan sesuka hatinya pi membunuh diri dengan meminum air kencing setan dengan banyaknya recently. This person happened to be under our care.With years of alcohol abuse dicampur pulak dengan Bipolar disorder nya, Makcik ni memang macam time-bomb.Her allocated pekerja sosial pun dah pergi long-term sick leave (aku aje yang belum lagi ni...)so secara paksa rela, we had to share si Samdol ni punya workload. Bila Makcik ni jatuh coma, we were critisised by the family for allowing her to make bad decision.

Bila lagi orang nak paham yang...manusia ni tak boleh ditahan-tahan? You can ask someone to be careful tapi kalau belakang you itu jugak yang nak dibuatnya, apalah yang kita boleh buat? Macam ada sorang pompuan ni, dedolu masa kecik-kecik, Mak kata..sebelum tido cuci gigi..every 6 months, gi jumpa misi klinik gigi tu...bak sini Mak cabut gigi yang goyang tu. Tapi pompuan degil ni..tak nak dengar.Takut dentist kononnya. (perlu diingat... Dentist circa 1978 to 1985 boleh buat part time jadi Cikgu Disiplin)Kesudahannya...gigi bengkang bengkok serta tak lawa. Nasib baik ada kawan Dentist.

For all that reasons at work, my writing time...my me time is limited. Not to mention trying to make time to do the long distance thing.Penat wooo...

But to some people, BUSY and tak sempat or takde masa nak hapdate blog only applies to PHD student.Podah la...tapi sempat gak gi sample hi-tea sana sini aku nampak? Pahttu gi ngukur Jalan TAR tu, ada pulak masa kan?

Oh ye..since I dah start menghupdate, I want to tell you one very takde moral story.About me laa...siapa lagi..kang kalau I mengata budak TKC kang, ada orang kecik ati pulak.But perlu diingat ye, only TKCians yang suka nak tayang badge KaTaK diorang whilst diorang bersidai kat Jalan Dato' Bandar Tunggal tu.Dah tau keluar pekan, simpan lah badge dalam beg. Takkk..nak tunjuk jugak kat orang-orang Somban tu dia tu sekolah kat atas bukit nun..pigi dahhh hang.

In FB (damn you FB) I managed to traced this guy who was in the same class as my eldest brother. Nak jadi cerita, I pun satu class dengan adik dia. But atas kegatalan yang semulajadi, I searched for his name instead of his sister. And I found him.We added each other. Of course lah both of us got genuine reasons that time, that he is keen to reconnect with my bro and I pulak dengan adik dia.HARAM JADAH you all....

What he didn't know, in school, back to the days..I fancy the pant out of him.Dia idok le hensem...tapi, he is one of the budak pintar gittewww.I am easily attracted to brain on the top (not the bottom) From time to time, we message each other tanya khabar. He has 4 kids. In one of his message, he said that his youngest baby masih menyusu with extra sentences..macam bapak dia juga. I wonder what he meant by that but at this age, I must not find that kind of remark amusing because at every corner left right and centre, men like to use those phrase, insensitive of the potential faux pas (menyusu? baby and men..kan ke lain macam aje makna nya tu...ish)

I decided to leave that as joke bangang, or maybe he thought that he was talking to my brother instead of me...eh, tak ke dia tahu yang kita ni agen pemberi susu jugak, Kiah oii??? Shialll aje kan???

Last week, I message him again about some news I read about our former school. He told me that he is keen to get in touch with his former classmate and sebagai public spirited citizen (although Kiah might want to differ..elehh..update blog tak ndak..menggatal ada lak masa) I shared with him the information that he may find useful. I complimented that he look cute in his old picture. He responded by saying that he nak muntah with my remark...in a funny way lah. Alaa...mustik lah malu kan. He reckoned he was a complete nerd.

Then....dengan muka tak tau malu nya...I said, hey..I have always think that you're the good looking one.In fact, I told my Kakak (our maid) that you memang hensem compared to the others.

Terus dia tak jawab my message you. Hehehehee....I'm not sure if I'm too direct with my opinion, but to me, I have now crossed one of my things to do list.

Nak dijadikan cerita, 2,3 menjak ni...you know lah FB like to give lists of people you might know and you might want to know.This particular profile of a woman keep popping out.The thing is we don't even have a mutual friends pun. So,I look at her profile carefully and I think she doers look familar and with very I-heard-your-name-somewhere kind of name.

See, this guy ada upload gambo anak-anaknya dalam FB. And I suddenly realised that she (the woman that profile keeps popping out for me to add as a friend) resembles one of the little girl.

I figure out that ini mustik emaknya. Ish..ish..lawa pulak tu. And I pulak baru lepas menggatal dengan bapak nya.

Trust me...I have not been eating anything aphrodisiac.

Update

Trust that I will always make time to mengumpat, nohhh Desert Rose??? Yelahh..aku takdak kaki nak gi shopping-thon macam you all, so masa ku diperabihkan mengumpat orang lah hah!!!

I think since last week, terkeluarlah cerita si laki Cheryl Cole yang dok 2,3 menjak ni pi nyanyi lagu fight,fight,fight,fight..fight for this love telah melakukan perbuatan terkutuk belakang bininya yang femes lagi chantekkkk ittew. See..badan chantekkk dan muka yang lawa kenkadang tak memberi makna apa-apa pada sang jantan kan?

So, that is 2nd news in Chelsea FC yang aku tak berapa sokaa tu lah. That day the Captain ada affair dengan bini kawan dia...and bini current dia pun nak tayanglah kat dunia yang dia dah kuchiwa dengan perangai buaya lake placid laki dia, dia pun buatlah adegan lari dari rumah hangkut sekali anak dia yang dua orang tu. So..dalam The Sun, Toni Terry tu buatlak muka sedih sadin 2,3 hari ditepi pantai kat Dubai nun.......until later in the week, John Terry pi datang jilat pasir (untuk ke beberapa kalinya) and depa dua orang tu pun berbaik lah...(bodoh nya bini dia..kalau aku, masa ni lah nak gi mintak cerai berai and take him to the cleaners kan Kiah?) But...yelah...chenta ke, financial security ke...pasal anak-anak ke si bini sanggup ambik balik laki dia yang bangsa penyapu tu walau dah kena tipu selalu. I ni pakkal tak masuk women lib punya organisation aje, kalo tak nak aje aku bagi counselling free kat Toni Terry tu...ye lah, bukannya sekali laki kau terjebak githoo. 8 kali dengar nya. Kalau nak bagi maaf setakat one night stand lepas mabuk ke, takpelah jugak kan? Ish...ish...biaq pi lah hang...tunggu lah sikit hari lagi kalau John Terry tu buat hal lagi, janganlah masa tu pulak hang nak nyesal nah? But I think, maybe it is unfair for me to say this..manalah tahu..kot-kot dalam diam si Toni Terry tu ada misi tersendiri..yakni mencuri duit lakinya £1000 sehari...cukup 70 juta, terus lari cari toyboy kan? Wahh..masa tu, haruslah kita semua bertepuk tangan cakap 'you go, girl..' kan?

Ashley Cole tu pun, that day sibininya dah bagi ampun. Nasib baik lah. Tup-tup..buat hal lagi. Pastu ada hati nak bagi alasang bangang katanya gambar-gambar bogel dia tu tertinggal kat dalam phone pay-as-you-go nya yang dia dah pi kasi kat orang. Ni kira nak bagitau donia, yang hang tu kena naya lah kan...tapi apa case pulak orang kaya macam Ashley Cole tu nak pakai mobile phone ber top up bagai? Padan muka hang...bini hang nak mintak cerai. Kesian bini tu, barulah berplanning nak beranak katanya...tup-tup laki buat hal.

Talking about men and their tendency to menjilat pasir...e.g. Tiger Wood tu pun (pandai pulak nak salahkan dia punya sex addiction) we wonder if all this apology is made for the sake of apologising and to show the world and their binis that yes, they're sorry and gives out message yang...yang sudah tu, sudah lah..kan ke I dah mintak mahap ni?

Or, maybe they're just sorry that they got caught???

I'm sure men are not that forgiving when come to their wives ber poya'an dengan jantan lain, kan? The thing is I'm sure women are not just ber poya'an for fun. They probably tired of giving out message to their hubby that they're not into them anymore and laki pulak bangsa tak paham bahasa mulut and bahasa badan. So, when they get caught, masa tu lah laki baru nak sedar or nak bagi cerai terpaksa ke, so that their wives can jalan dengan other guys. Betul ke? Ish..ni I lah yang rasa.

So, the cuckold husband is far than many while the forgiving wives are just plenty. Tak tahulah if Tiger Woods nya wife and Cheryl Cole nak hambik balik laki diorang tu...but if they do, maybe its because of pure love, hoping that the man will change. I'm sure these women wonder...apalah salahku before their husband infidelity, knowing laki puaka will always want to blame wife for almost anything.Kalau boleh, gempa bumi kat Haiti tu pun salah bini kan?

I have many cases like this. I nak hasut orang suruh pi benci laki/boipren pun kalau orang tu hati dah chenta, chenta lah juga..dan sanggup menunggu orang yang sama aje (aku ni cakap pasal siapa ni?) I always said..if you can get past his lies, the deceit and everything...and your love is worth fighting for.Only you know how you feel and what you want. I'm sure kalau satu hari nanti hati dah benci...kaki sendiri boleh jadi ringan nak lari. Takyah mintak nasihat orang dah.

Good Luck, you

Update Kerna Terasa....

Iye..aku lah itu. masa sekolah tak main budak-budak satu asrama...tapi terjatuh chenta dengan Sang Jejaka Super Duper Senior nearby ITM. Dah nak wat camne....I am into older person. So kepada sesapa yang cobak nak ngenenkan I dengan adik-adik muda dari I, boleh blah lah ye...baik lah Kak jaga laki akak tu. Hiks!

Alike Kiah, I have a very strict man as a father. He is still strict with us dalam pada kudrat dah tinggal sikit tu pun. It is unfortunate that dalam reramai anak dia, jahanam besar is his eldest. Knowing how jahanam he was when we were little, I tried to compensate the family flaws (kononnya) by being the docile and the boleh harap one. Bapak kata masa sekolah takleh chenta-chenta, I ikut aje. In between, my sisters sibuk sesenyap membalas surat chenta dari sang jantan tah mana, there I was reading books like there's no tomorrow to pass my standard 5 assesment test. My father,all this time I thought I was scared of him...but the older I get, the more I realised that I am the yes type daughter because I adore him. The only thing is now, I express myself as it is...just like him.So when he was fussing about..sampai bila kau nak membujang ni...I pun dengan petah nya akan menjawab...because I feel like it. Tu diaahhhhh. Pastu i will tambah...I thought before you said NO to chenta-chenta kan? So..I am doing as I told lah ni.

Me and my current beau, we goes a long waaaaay back. I was young and naive...and in a confused state. Siamang was in his first year in UMIST. So we were separated. All that time, I was not sure with Siamang. Siamang was a happy go lucky man. I have never feel needed around him.He needs me when he needs me, when he was lonely..when he needs a good listener. And I was always there.It is true what Lobai said...men at that age will only noticed the gediks type. I know Siamang was into all the gediks girl hence he was very friendly, enriched with jokes bangang dan juga memiliki motor Honda Fame (nampak benau lah jaman jurassic nya kan????)

I was not proud of what I got myself into dengan budak ni. Dia pun ada girlfriend masa tu. But masa tu I pun dilayan macam Mawar Terpinggir oleh Siamang, so manalah hati tak berbunga-bunga bila orang lain bagi attention gittew?

This was a long time ago. Sidia ni pun boleh tahan tahap Buaya Lake Placid nya...so, hati I pun dah terpatah jua oleh nya...and the irony is, Siamang masa tu macam tahu pulak yang I dah beralih arah from him, probably sensing that I was occupied with something or someone, and dia pun start lah balik menabur janji.So there I went with Siamang again, with this person stays at the back of my mind. Until dia timbul balik masa kita tengah makan ABC kat area umah kau tu, Kiah....

Although sekarang ni masing-masing dah kata chenta..chenta...muntah..muntah...cirit birit, orang ni masih ada lagi secret liaisons nya.Baru-baru ni I tanya dia...dia pun mengaku lah. Kuciwa lah jugak I...but that day I dah pun cakap..you can do what you like over there, and I also can do what I like over here. Ye lah..kita ni dah jauh berjuta batu...tak kan nak sekat pulak human rights orang kan? But deep down, I was hoping, kalau you dah kata chenta dengan I...mesti you dah takde hati nak ber projekan dengan orang lain kan? Ohh..tidak. Needs is a needs. I aje yang masih mengamalkan konsep chenta dan perasaan. Takde chenta..takde lah perasaan...maka...takdelah aksi-aksi gelap.

The only thing that I enjoy out of this is...after a long time, I know after a hard days work, I am looking forward to ber yahoo messenger voice/video call.It is nice to feel wanted again.

Long distance love is always not easy. I have done it before.It didn't last. I have wanted this person for so many years now...and now dia dah datang balik. I have doubts but most of all, I need this distraction.

I kan memang suka mencari penyakit....ish, ish..ish.

So Many Questions

Ayomaaa...ayoppaaa...sebagai seorang yang pemalas lagi tak mengenang budi sejak azali...saya adalah ingin mengucapkan terima kasih kat kengkawan yang telah mengomen dalam entry I yang lepas.

Bila nak jawab balik, tau tau dah ada sejuta (cehh..tipu lah tu) and dah lah membuat hapdate memakai pc dan internet office yang maha slow, so agak terbatas jugaklah pergerakan tangan nak jawab satu persatu.Well, disamping pemalas laaa....jangan marah na.

I am really thankful for all the well wishers....but know you must, as much as I am overexcited tahap bulan jula juli bintang 7,8 &9, maka I ni perlu juga mengingatkan diri ini yang...pada suatu ketika dahulu, ini adalah scandal yang tak menjadi.So, walau sehangat mana pun sekarang...as memetik kata-kata orang itu, I'm different now (kata dia lah...) setinggi-tinggi I dah melambung ke cloud 9, potensi untuk jatuh berdebub debab on the hard earth adalah cerah.

Kiah kata (amongst other things Kiah said) that kita hidup musti enjoy. If this one doesn't work...like other London Transport services, trains and buses datang every 15 minutes. There's always another one coming along after another.

I nak jugak enjoy....sebabnya...I ni set-set skima yang tak pandai enjoy.I work hard...I blocked everything out. So sekarang ni I tengah enjoy lah....tapi, apa yang nak dienjoy kan?

I have been busy at work, too. So mana-mana langsuir yang kata I ni kena penangan chenta sampai tak hupdate, adalah salah belaka.Tapi, I ni idoklah kecik ati orang nak kata apa-apa, ye lah..kan ke usik mengusik membawa bahagia. Walaupun yang mengusiknya tu pun pemalas jugak nak hupdate blog nya.

Tapi hati ni masih ada sangsi...(tu dia...BM tahap MRSM dah keluar nah?) Ye lah..orang tu tunggu 15 tahun baru nak nampak yang I ni ujud. Baru nak nampak yang I ni baik hati...and baik segala benda. Macam kes dengan Siamang...mengapa baru sekarang? Adakah muka ku ini muka 2nd, 3rd, 4th & 5th choice? Adakah kerna kita ni tak rajin buat bising....kita kena sidelined begitu lama and bila dah habis kena mistreat dengan manusia lain, baru terkenang kat aku ni? Alike Kiah..MB's told me not to think about other things. Enjoy aje lah katanya...you have had the bad years, so enjoy this while it lasts.In fact, now is a good time as any to paint the town red, yellow and blue katanya.

Ceh...kalau nak menggalakkan aku jadik Bohsia tu nombor satu, kan? Ingat kita ni budak TKC agak nya....

Sometime we wonder why....why aren't good things happens (late) to good people? We wanted something so badly....tunggu bertahun, bila dah sampai, kita question pulak...dulu apasal tak nak? One should say...okaylah...this is your time, your prayers is answered. But kepala hotal yang mega inquisitive serta hati yang tak puas akan tetap bertanya...ey, teruk ke aku dulu sampai kau tak nak?

So, yes. I should be so happy..or so lucky,lucky, lucky. But why now? I wish I can do that too...main-mainkan hati orang...so bila dah boring...pi cari balik orang tu.

Hati tu ada nak jadik bohsia Kiah......tapi....tak expert lah pulak.

Update

Memang dah menjadik lumraah mak-nu-sia...kalau orang lain tak hupdate..nampakkkkkkk aje. pastu speku, speku dan speku.

Just because dia tengah buat PHD, maka adalah alasang nya kalau ku tanya..oii Pook apasal kau tak hapdate, dia akan cakap..aku busy laa, Poon. So, bagi I yang tak buat PHD ni, takde alasang kukuh yang boleh diberikang. Nak tak nak, demi menjawab mulut puwaka kat Tag Board ku ittew, maka saya dengan ini adalah menghupdate dengan protest.

Ye, I adalah busy. Bukannya busy buat KL-JKT marathon macam Desert Rose tu. Pun begitu, hati ini tidak dapat menahan kejelesan bahawasanya, ada lagi wanita-wanita yang bernasib baik dalam duniya ini yang boleh menjadikan shopping secara berjemaah hobi masa lapang nya walaupun semput. Desert Rose, apa kata kau buat website motivasi 'Cara-Cara Mengabiskan Duit Laki Dalam Masa Satu Hari Tanpa Rasa Berdosa'. Nescaya kau akan mempunyai ramai followers dan salah sorang darinya ialah Kiah.

Semenjak I balik dari Malaysia ni, I rasa macam nak pasang resolusi pulak. Hari ni tadi, berterabur orang dalam FB buat status update pasal Perak. Orang Perak sepatutnya bersyukur kerna mempunyai Raja Muda yang amat hensem (bapaknya pun dedolu hensem gak) and sebagai tanda kita meng appreciate kehenseman Raja Peghak, we must, we should hang on to their every words. Of course I have an opinion about their recent political malarkey but since I pun bukannya penduduk tetap Malaysia and after my comments about kepala lembu lah..nama Allah...dan menjolok sarang tebuan yang mega sensitive, maka biarlah saya mempunyai pendapat dalam diam aje and teruskan menulis bahan yang saya benar-benar expert yakni...cara menguruskan permikiran yang tak centre. I was very offended to be accused of berpropaganda gaya Yahoo Messenger like aku ni takdelah kerja lain nak buat. But, like my usual advice to others and now to myself, kalau orang yang salah faham tu, masalahnya adalah dengan dia sendiri, bukannya I. So, I pun malas nak layan. Biarlah.

Kiah & Pilot Cyber-Chendering has been hinting the burning question, followed by Mok si Wawa yang dengan sesejuk salji nya menyindir...sikit2 nak balik Paroi..ada apa-apa ke?

Ye..memang ada apa-apa. Tapi bukan dengan orang Paroi.

Kiah has transformed herself from what she specialise in now to a adhoc councellor, dalam perjalanan balik kami dari KLCC to Giant Supermarket tu. Masa makan-makan kat KLCC tu, I memang emosi sangat sampai nak menitik air mata. And the fact that I dah duduk 10 minit waiter takde pun tanya I nak makan apa, lagi menyebakkan jiwa raga..apasal, I tak chantekkkk ke? Tapi emosi tak lama...sebab rugilah nak nangis-nangis kan..bila all the food is in front of you. Kiah is ever ready to sehati berdansa nak nangis dengan I..and Bella, being awfully cute..alamakk..aku inda boleh nangis..macam mana? hahaha....blessed!

I think, in a way, Kiah gave me something she think I might need - permission to still be in love with your ex. Yes..we are referring to the one 6feetbelow. The truth is that nothing people say will change this anyway. If you're not ready to move on yet, then you're just not ready. I have all the reasons to let go and I think finally I have.

I finally believe what he said and I have forgiven him.He was the nightmare and sometimes it is easier to accept things the way they are than deal with our fear of the unknown.When Kiah dropped me (and Maggie Kari Letop, Kopok Bantal, Teh Tarik Segera and what have you) off, I realised that I have been missing out and wasting the chances of being happy. (But, Kiah only interest was the aksi panas and the lack of it)

So pada malam bulan mengambang sambil menunggu flight sepagi golap tu...I texted my ex. Of course lah this one is still breathing. We had lunch days before. Yes, there was a fling many,many years ago. I ended up broken hearted (aku ni tak habis-habis hati pecah kan, Kiah?) bila berjumpa balik ni (and we spend our extended lunch to lewat petang, sampai ku tertinggal telepon kat opis nya NBNS oii..dan membuatkan kau menjadi padi tertampi-tampi) we realised that the sparks is still there. Tapi masa lunch tu, of course lah I control ayu and tak le nak tunjuk yang hati masih ada chenta githooo.

So, I rose up to Kiah's challenge...that I must leave behind the sad episodes in my life. So, langkah pertama ialah ber flirting habis-habisan via text messages sampai last-last, tertulislah message..yeah..aku chenta..ohh..kau pun chenta. Something like that lah.

So, we have been having long distance chats, love declarations bagai. Memang I mencari penyakit. Penyakit nombor satu....I sekarang bangun sesubuh sepieee...kalau sembahyang nya takpe..tapi pukul 5 pagi dah bergayut kat telepon. Penyakit nombor dua...bila dah berchenta dalam time zone yang lain-lain, mulalah tidur tak lena and makan tak lalu sebab nak menghitung suitable time to call each other. Tapi walaupun orang kata makan tak lalu, takdelah pulak aku nampak perubahan mendadak kat weighing scale tu. Ciss! Penyakit nombor 3...sekarang ni I adalah pelanggan tetap kedai kaplam yang jual phone call yang call Asia murah tu. Every 3 days lak aku dah menonggok kat situ and not only that....well, I'm trying not giving this away, but Kiah & Bella, we may have regular lunch tawww in the future. Maka selepas ni, kapal terbang LHR-KUL to me dah jadik macam Rapid KL aje.

I'm taking my chances now. I'm facing my fear of the unknown. My only regret now..apasal lah aku takde adik beradik kerja Airlines? kan ke senang dapat flight discount. Cesss.