And They Sent Off Adebayor...How Evil Is That?

Please do not think that I am a football mad.I don't even own a seasons ticket, and I don't even subscribe to a Sky Sports Channel.Living up to reputation that we (my partner and me) live in Finsbury Park and therefore, my partner insisted that I must support Arsenal...and I have no problem with that because,liking Thierry Henry is not a difficult job.Many years ago when I used to lived in South London, the pressure from the neighbourhood made me support Crystal Palace FC.I happened to rent a flat near the ground and I can't possibly flashing my half naked David Beckham poster around,or them supporter will stone my window to stashed.

And here I am after 4 years of courting my current beau, hail an Arsenal supporter and if cash permits, will go to their matches.Last Xmas, I got their Polo Shirts and and a wollie hat as a gift and that sealed my nationality with the North London club.I did a good job concealing my Arsenal identity from the mad Chelsea fan.They are here there everywhere in here, area where I work.I once went to Stamford Bridge and painstakingly braced myself to remember that I now (by responsibility) have to cheer Chelsea.It was the hardest thing to do besides emptying my stubborn bowel.

Okay, enough introduction.I am still reeling over tak boleh baca blog Goddess Selene yang nowadays only for invitee only.FINE! Apasal diriku disingkirkan? Belladonna & Kobau yang keluar rumah tak reti balik-balik tu...balik kampung 7 bulan ke? And the thought of them melantaking popia basah and roti jala.Where ever they are, they should soon furnish me with the information.Mengerti!!!!!

The tone of words is a translation of a obvious despair over Arsenal loss to Cheating Chelsea yesterday.I watched that game and for start I thought the boys are going to keep it up until the next 82 minutes.Chelsea carry with them a reputation of cheating,diving,faking pain and what not along with their dispute over everything Portugueezer Manager.They cheat and cheat and the referree turned cocked eyed.Yesterday, Denilson got a yellow card over nothing whereas the sinful Blues keep fouling.Yesterday match was the epitome of a football daylight robbery.

The previous game, Ashley Cashley Cole fouled Arsenal player and tricked the game into getting a goal.Millions of Gunners saw the sin but cock eyed referree don't.Yesterday game,Drogba was seen running into some off side (I don't even know the rules but they said it off side and I shall agree with them experts) and tricked the boys and shoot that cheating goal that should have been disqualified. Some minutes later, John Terry acted like he was going to die of a small accident and have to be stretchered out of the pitch.The Gunners was genuinely concerned.That is because John Terry is an England player and captain.But on the news today,there was a picture of him looking absolutely fine gleefully kissing that Carling Cup Trophy.Penipu kan? Out of nowhere, a fist fight broke off.Haiyoo...ini jantan-jantan..takde kerja lain...gaduh gaduh..tumbuk..tumbuk...and I'm very sure that is was caused by that Frank Lampard yang sepak penalty untuk England pun tak masuk tu.Because of that, Arsenal received 2 red card and Frank Lampard yang nampak terang-terang menumbuk Arsenal player, dapat apa? Kaler air kencing dia aje.Cissss...

Well, we were defeated.Okay...on the bright nore, we don't cheat.Arsene Wenger will still manage Arsenal and the Chelski will be booting off that arrogant man soon.Maybe pas ni, boleh lah dia jadi Manager untuk Malaysia kan?

Sekian, yang sungguh marah tapi masih lalu makan...

Makji Esah

Mad World

I got this very interesting email from a friend today.Besides herself updates,she also attached this rather bizarre news from Malaysia.What she said in her email was 'you better come home and help the stupid people that running the system'.Hehehe...if I don't know any better, I would have thought that she is asking me to replace Pak Lah and his konco-konco.Well, I don't even cut to be Pak Lah aide,apatah lagi nak stand in as a PM,hancur lebur kot Malaysia tu.As it is I ni dah ada orang tegur thinking too liberal.Nanti orang sumpah masuk neraka ke hapa,habislah diri I yang comel ni.So,Pak Lah can keep his job without having to see me as his possible threat.

The news attachment is as follows;

Wanita gagal bunuh diri dipenjara dua bulan

Oleh: ROKIAH ABDULLAH

PULAU PINANG 23 Feb. – Seorang wanita yang terlalu tertekan dengan masalah kerja dan kewangan hingga cuba membunuh diri dengan menyedut asap ekzos keretanya, dihukum penjara dua bulan oleh Mahkamah Majistret di sini setelah mengaku bersalah melakukan perbuatan itu.

Majistret Ainul Shaharin Mohamed memerintahkan hukuman terhadap Lee Saw Fong, 32, seorang ejen menjual kereta berkuat kuasa mulai tarikh dia ditangkap pada 21 Januari lalu.

Dia yang memakai blaus hitam dan berseluar jean biru kelihatan gelisah sambil menundukkan kepalanya ketika hukuman dibacakan kepadanya kira-kira pukul 11.30 pagi.

Mengikut pertuduhan, Saw Fong didakwa cuba membunuh diri dengan memasukkan satu paip getah ke dalam ekzos keretanya dan disambung ke dalam kenderaan itu melalui pintu belakang sambil enjin kereta dihidupkan.

Pintu dan tingkap kereta itu tertutup manakala hujung paip getah pula dihalakan ke muka wanita itu.

Dia didakwa melakukan kesalahan itu kira-kira pukul 8 malam, 20 Januari lalu di dalam kereta jenis Proton Saga di sebuah jalan mati di Jalan Puncak Bukit Mutiara, Tanjong Bungah di sini.

Pertuduhan itu dikemukakan oleh pegawai pendakwa, Asisten Supritendan Jafri Md. Zain mengikut Seksyen 309 Kanun Keseksaan. Seksyen itu memperuntukkan hukuman penjara setahun atau denda atau kedua-duanya jika sabit kesalahan.

Terdahulu, ketika mengemukakan rayuan, Saw Fong memohon hukumannya diringankan.

*********************************************************

As a failed law student yang banyak betul menghabiskan duit MARA,I am no better at understanding government policy and procedure, regulations, constitutional laws and what not.Zilch knowledge.As much as I believe that we all should be rule by a good pedantic confederation,ye lah, terlampau lenient kang susah pulak, macam kat England ni,orang putih baik sangat dengan immigrant,dengan juvenile convict,dengan underprivillege people, sampaikan ramai betul anak-anak asylum seeker yang tak sabar-sabar nak mengebom tube station kat Central London tu,I think at some stage of making or execute decision, we should allow some essence of humanity and pedagogy.

I was asked to involved in a community work this week and dek kerana active nya ber 'community', making plenty community presence, maka my presence in my own blog tersangatlah terhadnya.Many of you must have read the recent gun fashion among the budak-budak especially kat South London.Lately ni banyaklah pulak yang dah mati ditembak.Semuanya budak-budak.I know for fact that mereka-mereka ni (yang mati kena tembak ni) bukanlah budak-budak pujaan Malaya gitu.Ni semuanya set-set setan yang terlepas kandang yang baru belajar mencarut and trading drugs.What they do is to smoke dope during the day and buat overtime merompak orang-orang balik kerja malam-malam.So,bila sekor-sekor keluar newspaper mati kena tembak,agaknya ramai betul manusia kat South London tu buat 'Thank You' party.So dek kerana this latest crisis, the board seems to think that there must be a huge psychological issues among this teenager that is making them vulnerable and as such, subjected them terjebak in the gangland culture tembak menembak dadah mendadah ni. Again, I ni dipaksa rela pergi bercakap dengan bebudak gangster ni.Haiyooo...takutnya,tuhan sajalah yang tahu. The experts seems to think that budak-budak muda ni in much need of a psychological help in correcting their cognitive ability to think positive. Memang betul. As I work in a unit full of adult with challenging behaviour, it is not hard to see that all their challenging front is nothing more than a protective clothes. Samalah kes nya dengan budak-budak gangster ni.

My point is, the authority is sensitive enough to detect the problem within the community and bersusah payah nak tolong eventhough kenkadang tu sampai nak tergadai nyawa nak tolong orang sangat.People here are so lucky.The help is everywhere.My thought are with that poor woman in that news.I can only suspect dia ni kaki judi and that could contributes to her financial worries and work related stress.Coming out owning up a dreadful mistakes is an embarassment to most people.She may feel that the world is closing in to her and the only way out is to forfeit her life.She tried,did not succeed and now, send to jail for punishment of her inability to cope with stress.How is that going to help?

Where is the goverment input? Here, we have the debt recovery helpline and this are the organisation that helps people putting their life back on track.Why must we punish orang yang patah hati? By mematahkan lagi hati nya kah?

While the government is so desperate to menyibuk hal orang lain to gain wider international publicity (menolong the Palestinian yang sama jahatnya dengan regime Zionis kat Israel tu) bukan ke lebih bagus channelkan all their intelligence untuk tolong orang yang mengundi mereka tu?

Fib Factor

When I was growing up,my favourite past time, kalau tak main galah panjang hingga bermasam muka adik beradik,I watched Drama Minggu Ini a lot.The whole family did,apart from my father, as he is not always around when I tengah membesar.I don't think I will ever get that pleasure tengok TV sampai tak ingat dunia if he is around as he is so selective of the things we watched and I remember how difficult it was during the process of 'mintak permission' nak tengok TV from him.He is so strict that you have to have accurate answer for 'Why do you want to watch it?', 'What is in it for you that is good?',macam nak interview biasiswa MARA, I tell you.But because of me and my younger sisters that time tergolong dalam category anak-anak solehah,we get our request approved in a matter of 5 minutes but yang selalu jadik mangsa soklan-soklan kejam my father is my eldest brother.Think about it,kind of make sense jugak request nya direject cold heartedly oleh my father because program yang nak ditengoknya semuanya ala-ala bangang gituu...padan muka.

But there is a few things that we can easily get a freeview as some program is a wajib tengok for my mother and her maid.That is that Tayangan Gambar every Friday,Kesuma (tak tengok pun tak pe ni),Bimbingan Agama (hmmmm) and that black and white Drama Minggu Ini every Sundays.Those days, the quality of the programs made by RTM are far better than now,speaking of 7,8 years back since I last watch Malaysian TV.I remember on the verge of leaving, there was this very dodgy program on television called 'Spectra' and some really not even worth to broadcast Cerekarama.You see the same person all the time,expressionless and motionless and most of all, talentless.He or she sure is good looking by some local Datuk's and Sugar Mummy standard but which drama school they all came from,tak tahulah.Their character switches weekly.If they need to become a corporate person, they will speak English even when not needed to and you can see that the whole chicken cackle in foreign language mode is not necessary,when they become orang kampung,they become the most poshest orang kampung who speaks polite text book bahasa, like 'Abang tidak faham kenapa Tijah bertindak begitu...'.Aren't things supposed to be more simple like 'Kenapa kau buat camtu, hah?!!!'.That whole scene can makan up to 1/2 hour airtime and we were all forced to see some ingenuine camaraderie.

I used to choose what to watch or else I would rather watch things like Miss Congeniality berkali-kali.I'm not sure about now but I know when I went home recently,some Malay soap got worse where some suppose-to-be a kaya raya family pakai tuxedo in their own home just to makan dinner bersama.Since when kita pakai Tuxedo dalam rumah? Or is this a new thing that I don't know of?

Speaking of the old Drama Minggu Ini or the olden Malay movies,apart from some really brilliant screenplay,they also have good actors that can cry without eye mo.The story can be so damn good that my mother and her maid pun boleh ikut-ikutan menangis gitu.Especially when they are watching that film about some anak tiri dihambat oleh Mak Tiri and so forth.Haiyoo...waterbag sungguh.

Yesterday, when I finally kemas my bilik (to make way for my new bed nak menyambut Mak Bellabunny datang ni) I also send some of my old stuff to bin.I have this old music in my desktop and some of it was played to me when I was very little and during the Drama Minggu Ini time.Maka, teringatlah kisah lama gitu. I was also talking to one of my friend (who came by and tolong I kemas bilik before we shoot off to Emirates) and we joke about some scenes in drama zaman dedolu yang sometimes tak masuk akal, however brilliant the storyline is. The tak masuk akal or shall I put it 'so kelakar' is the scenes like ;

a) The Terlanjur Factor
You often see that 2 merpati sejoli keluar berdating naik Honda or Vespa bermain tutup-tutup mata kat Taman Bunga,minum pun share satu straw and other nak muntah activity bersama.Okay, that is the day time.When the night is gone and sampai scene pagi, tiba-tiba si merpati dua sejoli ni unsuspectingly ended up atas katil bujang si merpati jantan ni.The female merpati will be seen berkemban dengan kain cadar and menangis teresak-esak and it is so obvious of what had happened the night before. While the female merpati tadi menangis sambil badannya dicover oleh cadar,the male merpati looking not so good himself will then pujuk her from belakang dengan kata-kata 'Jangan risau Milah, Abang Majid akan bertanggungjawab'.The question is, why Milah is crying teresak-esak? Guilty pleasure kah? Nak kata abang Majid rogol dia, tak lah kan? Milah pun mahu jugak lah ni.Another question, how is Milah so confident yang dia akan termengandung just after one shot? But, suddenly after, nak nangis-nangis pulak.Masa tu tu tak nangis ke? Or Milah just menjerit teresak-esak? But the old drama is always like that.Main dulu, nangis kemudian.And for Abang Majid yang kononnya bertanggungjawab tu, podah lah..by the time he put on his crocodile underwear,his 'tanggungjawab' will soon be out of the window.Siaplah kau Milah oiii...

b) You Have To Eat Asam and Mangga
When you're mengandung.Supposedly case terlanjur like Milah.Stupidly,even if Milah and her beau is trying hard to conceal her predicament,Milah is happily showing off the fact yang secara tiba-tiba dia suka makan asam and mangga muda and in between that, muntah kayap dengan teruknya didepan kawan-kawan nya yang lain, and dalam ramai-ramai kawan tu, adalah sorang yang suspect something fishy and startlah bergossip. Kenapa Milah tak makan asam tu dalam jamban aje Milah oii?

c) Kisah Cinta Terlarang Yang Common
If it is not adik beradik terpisah, after many donkey years tak jumpa and then tup tup ter bercinta and finally get told that 'dia abang kandung kau or dia adik kandung kau', other love story yang selalu tunjuk in DMI is bila si Jejaka bercinta dengan anak musuh ketat bapaknya or vice versa or suddenly anak majikan sudah syok dengan orang gaji yang bertubuh mungil (apa ni Montymelly?) and mulalah his Mak Datin mother dengan bongkaknya cakap, oh..dia tak setaraf dengan keluarga kita...tu belum masuk yang anak Pak Haji Dollah bercinta dengan Wong Mei Mei lagi tu...

d) Lupa Daratan Yang Tak Perlu
There is always this anak nelayan or pesawah yang eligible to study oversea until the father have to flog their bendang to support the anak.Tup Tup, the anak balik with awek yang kaya and he become suddenly malu of his 'origin'.He will only come to his senses when his parents is bedridden and started panggil nama anak yang lupa daratan ini sambil batuk-batuk yang keluar darah.To make thing more unbearable, the anak orang kaya who is the anak lupa daratan other half, always turned up to be the nicest one who 'saya tak kisah kalau abang anak orang susah...'.Very cartoon kan?

e) Prodigy Child
We see the anak orang kaya in the DMI always ended up in the criminal activity mainly hisap dadah.The producers are very good at portraying the ever so busy parents, successful businessman yang kerja sampai tak ingat rumah and the wife who are ever so busy berpersatuan itu ini.But,successful businessman kan ada assistant? Tak kan sampai tak balik rumah kot...and Datin persatuan tak kan sampai tengah malam? For whatever reasons, the anak (mak bapak busy sangat sampai anak pun seorang aje, you) become withdrawn, become attached to the orang gaji or mulalah jadik jahat.Haiyoo...I really hate the dialogues yang sungguh too good to be true like 'Bapak aku bagi aku duit, tapi aku takmau semua tu, aku perlukan kasih sayang uhuk..uhuk..uhuk..'.Well, here's my story.Both of my parents work, they hardly at home.Well, they are but not full time.Most notorious growing up child like me akan keluh kesah kalau mak bapak selalu sangat kat rumah...ye lah...habislah program nak main zero point dengan orang sebelah rumah kan? And yess, we need the money, not to buy drugs like that stupid lonely child, but to buy more Kum Kum, Ding Dang or all the keropoks that we simply can't afford.

f) Janda No-No
In the olden days, god forbid you jadik janda.The moment you were awarded that title,the whole entire bini orang kat kampung will put you in alert spot.They will all fear that their laki, walaupun ada yang berwajah hensem sikit dari buah keladi akan disambar oleh janda nan satu ini.Even anak bujang cannot choose you as a possible life partner as maknya akan melarang habis-habisan.The producer is ever so clever to pick the janda character yang muka ala-ala Kate Moss and Angelina Jolie.Siapa yang tak nak? You can never see janda yang muka macam Roseanne Barr or Jackie Stallone. What if you become duda? Tak ada pulak jantan-jantan kampung tu yang bontot panas takut wife diorang menggoda duda yang seekor ni.

g) 30 Minutes Dying Speech
You can get shot or stab violently by some criminal but you can still muster long sentences to your loved one, and for what worse, the paramedic, knowing how critical your condition are, still bagi chance lagi teruna dara ni bercakap-cakap dengan darah membuak-buak keluar dari wound si polan yang cedera parah ni.Mana perginya health and safety awareness mereka-mereka ni?

What else ye? Well, Gong Xi Fa Cai....

Malunya...

Ni nak cerita sikitlah kat uolss ni...I'm not sure if its appropriate...yelah..I ni kan ada reputation bermulut lepas gitu.But then,we should by now know how to differentiate opinion,statement or just simply blatant words yang boleh terlepas dari mulut yang tak berpagar.

I attended my GP appointment last Wednesday.This is subsequent to my third blood test yang telah dihambik oleh the nurse 10 days or more before.The result is still the same that is my ESR is still high.Apa jadah ESR ni,the Doctor and Tuhan sajalah yang tahu.I asked but my brain and technical/medical term explanation selalunya tak gel.But I tau lah kenapa ESR tu tinggi and pasal apa.When they deliver my 3rd time blood test result,the GP pun start lah to fish for more information from me...and I pun bagitaulah my health condition lately ni.I told that GP yang I selalu kena cold...pastu ada temperature yang sekejap ada sekejap takde...yang cold tu pulak..boleh katakan since last October, macam ada contract aje dengan my body...datang pergi..datang pergi.Kalau free of cold pun seminggu aje, and then baliklah tersoksek-soksek...batuk-batuk.

That GP pun suruhlah I lay down kat katil kecik dia tu...and startlah dia meraba perut I.He was unsure if my spleen is swelling or that 'swell' just being a muscle...pasal katanya perut I bermuscle...bangga pun ada masa tu...I can't remember the last time I visit my LA Fitness, so bila that GP kata I ada tummy muscle,rasa nak terkentutlah dek banyaknya angin.Sebab dia pun tak so sure of his findings, dia pun issue I warrant untuk buat scan kat West Middlesex Hospital.So, maybe besok, I pergilah kot buat appointment.

Habis aje process perabaan itu,kami pun berchit chat lagi.I tell you, berminat pulak GP ni tak tanya I macam-macam because selalunya GP kat sini,consultation hour macam ala-ala speed dating tu...and the pesakit like me tak puas nak mengadu nak mintak sick leave bagai.I pun dengan rela hatinya volunteer the information to that GP, suggesting that I might be physically depressed.Pasalnya...banyak betul sympton yang ganjil like

a) No more Brain exercise reading. When was the last time I baca my work text book? Emm..bila nak submit clinical papers that day.How I managed? That book is in between Lee Novotny's and Leez sexual sexcapade. There is a genuine psychological damages issues berselang selikan upacara gymrama kat Ciksit & Sauna & Central Station. I have to be honest, it was more giggling at their beautifully written sexperience rather than mendalami masalah kekehelan otak some promiscuous junkie (mulut jahatnyaaa...) Sekarang ni, my capacity of reading only limited to baca TV Magazine, tu pun pasal nak tahu apa jadi kat that Australian Daily Soap yang I ikut.I read blogs too and that should not be classify as a brain exercise reading.I think (if you agree), there is what people will classify as reading for pleasure and reading for slaughter.This is what lawyers use to say...I got to do some reading tonight so that I could slaughter them guts out tomorrow.I have to do a vast amount of slaughter read too,the reason is to protect me from being mangsa kekejaman pesakit-pesakit mental yang rata-ratanya sungguh bistari itu.Memang benar uolsss...ada orang dalam dunia ni yang hobby nya ialah menyakitkan hati...and there's only so much that you can take on the chin or with a pinch of salt.So, to protect your sanity is by having that onslaught of reasonable reflections to their not so reasonable shine.

b) Kemalasan yang terlampau.When I came back from work lately ni,my jeans and my jacket are dropped in one spot and get picked up again the next day for me to wear.I did not bother to sangkut at the hanger.Apart from the undergarments,socks and the shirts that is changeable on daily basis,the condition of my room is no better than the scene in the world war 2 epic.The fact that I duduk dengan Mak Badak yang sungguh obsess dengan kebersihan alam semulajadi doesn't change a thing.Last weekend, Mak Badak nombor 2 hoovered my room (elehh..itupun agaknya kena paksa, because dia punya tahap malas lagi diluar tabii) so, nampak lah bilik I berseri-seri sikit.Every single day I keep telling myself to kemas bilik,kemas bilik...and yang nyatanya,the ungkapan kemas bilik remained the words without any action.

c) Ke 'Takde mood' an yang sungguh menghairankan.Very hard to elaborate.Buat itu ini takde mood, mana perginya mood tu? South Africa kot?

d) Panas Dingin Suhu Badan ku yang tidak dapat dihuraikan dengan kata-kata (Chewaaaah..pandainya I cakap proper BM) For sure, the company yang produced LEMSIP ni dah kaya dek getting plenty business from me.When the temperature risen,one Lemsip max capsule on the go until finish course.Baiknya sekejap aje.I want to blame the weather...well, how can you have a normal body temperature bila kejap-kejap panas, pastu snow and pastu hujan.Lagi satu yang paling menyakitkan hati is that Mak Badak-Mak Badak yang berdua tu,hisrok...bukak tingkap..and then of courselah udara luar yang sejuk tu masuk dalam rumah kan? To accomodate to their smoking habit, aku yang menggigil kesejukan saban hari...pastu, tahu pulak rumah dah sejuk, dinaik kan pulak temperature central heating.I don't know where I get my sudden keberanian that day, I tegur Mak Badak nombor 2, bila I jumpa dia bergulung dalam duvet,pandai dia complaint sejuk,then I tell her, it is cold because you opened the window...(bongok..bongok..bongok..)

So, the GP bagilah kat I one set of questionnaire ni...tanya how I feel about things in general.He also put me through another blood test and suggest that I should go for HIV test.HIV test?!!! My automatic reaction to his suggestion ialah dengan tersenyum simpul and terus I jawab, it is not possible.I'm not sure if that gesture (senyum simpul) is the mixture of embarassment and terkejut.As I work closely with people that is affected by the virus,kira I ni adalah sikit knowledge.Junkies,promiscuous gay men having several unprotected sex and female with large number of partners (also having unprotected sex) I am not.To get suggestion to have such test is such a shock but at the same time, funnily (tak kelakar pun) kepala I yang twisted ni sungguh bangga yang GP ni perceived yang I ni sexually active kot...haiyooo...I bet the kucing and the anjing around my neighbourhood mengawan more than me.But yang nyatanya, I malu sungguh. But I guess, the GP just want to rule out the possibility and hopefully HIV does not trasmitted through telepathy,as I selalu anxious bila berkerja dengan they all yang affected ni.

And last night, I demam dengan teruknya.Ceri Beri.Berpeluh-peluh bagai.Sakit sungguh badan I and tidur atas futon yang lebih banyak kayu dari kekabu sungguh not helping.I dragged my feet this morning, bawak-bawak mandi and makan ubat lebihan Mak Badak nombor 2 masa dia demam that day.And before I went to work,I muntah lah dengan banyaknya...wuiyooo...but the sad thing is, now I'm still at work and feeling miserably weak.

Nasib baik I sempat telephone Goddess Sue Sue Fathimah yesterday ucapkan selamat jalan and by now, dah terbang dah kot.Dek sebabkan bilik yang semak tu,I don't know where my phone charger is and hari ni tadi...dalam keadaan battery yang hidup segan mati tak mahu, I retrived Miss Coco Chanel punya Valentine message.

I just hope I will be okay by tomorrow where we are all going to makan-makan.I have not been eating anything today as semua benda pun tak nak masuk.I hope all of you had a good Valentine, sambil makan bersama, raba-raba dan exchange janji-janji palsu..hehehe...at least lebih interestinglah daripada I yang demam sambil tengok bola ni.

Selamat uolsss.

Not So Young,Apparently And Tingle?

I remember the time I was single (bila la tu?) and were flying high.It was my first time and only at Johannesburg and that is for 3 days.I have this very ligat colleague (gay but very straight looking,soft bum...hah..mana tau? Pasal akulah yang selalu dipaksa jadi bum-o-meter nya) yang sungguh beriya-iya nak tunjukkan I the scene.It was a weekend and so every gay men and their fag hag was out and about,dropping pills and gurning and puking and dancing - which I suppose sounds kind of gross, but at least we were all drinking 1 litre of incontaminated Coke that night and so had the most fabulous behaviour.

This man (god knows where he is now) was hoping that he can strike lucky that night,armed with a new aftershave and a Versace thong, that cost him arm and leg (dia punya gigih..biar arm and leg hilang..jangan my Cik Din...katanya) Surprisingly,I do not need to ask what he meant by his 'Cik Din' because it soon become abvious that Cik Din itu adalah Tengku Mahkota nya yang terletak di cerun-cerun curam badannnya yang berkepal-kepal itu. The outing and the mission of our outing that night for him was a total for 'membalas dendam' sake.This man baru dua hari dikayutigakan oleh Pakwe nya yang also our leading FA.Kebetulan, the same ex boyfriend kerja sama flight pulak dengan dia dan I,and so Pakcik ni berhasrat benar yang menunjukkan kepada dunia yang dia ni pun 'ada barang'.Ni bahasa zaman 90'an la ni...I really hope you all know what it mean since I malas betul nak explain apa maknanya 'ada barang' ni.

Part of the reason yang I sanggup ikut dia keluar menyundal malam itu ialah first,I takde kawan and second,Pakcik ni terkenal dek glamournya so,tanpa segan silu I pun nak jugak merasa dan menumpang glamournya, of which work out well for both of us that night as I dengan Pakcik ni tak keluar duit sesen haram pun untuk membiayai projek poya-poya an kami malam tu.This Pakcik got chatted up all the way and all the night through.

We partied hard that day.I think that was the first and last I berligat-ligatan begitu sekali.Thinking back,I am such a party pooper yang tak gemar langsung nak bersocial ni.Even now,ramai sungguh yang ajak keluar especially my office mate yang kaki ronggeng but my respond has always been the same...take a rain check lah haaaaa....

Back to the story tadi, kesudahannya, Pakcik Ligat ni berjaya membawa balik seorang Bapak Ikan and katanya, bersexercise tak sudah didalam bilik hotelnya.Good for him lah.But deep down I know that is not his main motive and the glitter did not last that long for him.But, he got what he is after iaitu bersexual healing and from what I heard after that is he is a regular in the one night stand scene eversince.But honestly,I don't think he is ever happy with that.

I was given a budget by the company to organise party poya-poya untuk my team.Well, it is actually meant for Xmas dinner but musim Xmas that day nak buat apa pun tak sempat,I pun talk my way into convincing my accountant yang party kami itu patut dipostpone until semua orang free.And this Friday 16th will be the night where all 5 of us berbonding-bonding ala-ala team buildinglah kononnnya.My colleagues cajoled me into letting them eat Malaysia Food like last year (where aku hambat masing-masing pergi Melati kat Soho Street tu) but I was not very keen nanti orang kata menyalahguna kuasa lak but since my effort to look for other makan-makan place ended in futile,I teruslah make reservation kat Awana Kensington and this joint is serving Malaysian food.Merasalah aku makan satay nanti.

The problem is puak-puak ligat ni (Miss Nigeria,Miss South Africa & Mr Tanzania) bercadang nak berclubbing plak kat Central London.Tu yang I sungguh tak rajin tu.I tried talking myself into joining them but my lazy body and stagnant brain kata...tak yah lah..dok rumah lagi bagus.Ditambah pulak dengan kesihatan yang tak menentu ni,but I tell you, tu semuanya alasan.Problem I dari dulu is that people presume that I am a party animal, judging from my past work.I have been to parties that I can't remember enjoying every little bit of it.As far as I know everytime I sampai, kaki I dah gatal nak balik.If I stayed,I merely stayed for food and friends and god knows how many times I ditangkap tengah bertiduran kat Modesto while my other friends tengah asyik maksyuk showing off their Macarena talents.Sungguh anti social.And this was many years ago.People again assume that I am so into London Clubbing Scene but I can assure you that you're likely to see me in Mun Loong Supermarket looking for kacang kopek rather than that famous Zoo Bar.

Surprisingly, the needs is there.Nak keluar,nak keluar but I don't know why bontot malas nak angkat.Hati nak jugak rasa nak berpesta-pesta tapi the desire will leave only with an empty action.I think, it would be best if I stick to my usual 'unsociable' self.At least I know that is me and that I do not have to succumb to peer pressure to act what I'm not.And I will end up growing old and uninteresting.

But I will see how it goes.As I said,hati mau tapi badan malas.Like this post too,it took me days to finish it as my badan,tangan and otak malas.

Kagum Tak?

Did I tell you yang apart from working permanently dengan company I yang sekarang ni, I also terpaksa-rela kerja untuk collect clinical hours dengan seorang local GP kat bandar Twickenham ni? Heh..gitulah kesahnya you.I am so lucky to get paid as tak semua yang buat clinical work kena bayar apart from their expenses.The GP yang offer I shadow patient dia ni sungguhlah baik hati and dek kerana dia baik hati,apart from shadowing her patient, I selalu volunteer menjaga anak-anak nya yang comel-comel tu especially bila dia nak pergi beronggeng. Tapi orang-orang professional macam si Doctor ni, tak pernah mengambil kesempatan.Walaupun I ikhlas tolong jaga baby dia yang comel tapi berak busuk tu (see...muka yang hensem itu tidak menjanjikan tahi yang wangi, boleh?) dia masih bayar that time on top of my usual work dengan dia.Kaya sungguh GP kat sini...£500 pounds tu macam £5.00 aje kot?

By the way, dia ni cousin Nigella Lawson (voleyyy?) and Nigella and family adalah setahun 3,4 kali datang makan dinner rumahnya.Tapi, I tak pernah lah jumpa Nigella Lawson tu, pasalnya,siapalah diriku ini and people like Nigella manalah nak visit sedara mara on weekdays? So, kesimpulannya, family Yahudi ni amatlah kayo dan fridge nya dipenuhi dengan barang makan Mark & Spencer.

I actually nak cerita pasal si husband Doctor ni, Yahudian jugaklah...yelah...orang Yahudi kan selalunya kahwin sebangsa mereka jugak.By profession,Pakcik ini adalah seorang solicitor yang kerjanya hanya uruskan contract-contract aje.They both have 3 sons and one of their son is affected by Tuberous Scelerosis and because of that is having a behavioural problem and severe learning difficulties.Kesian.

Their live in au pair is currently balik negeri pulak for 2 weeks and si Doctor ni kemaruklah nak menguruskan anak-anaknya tu.She texted me yesterday asking if I can help, siapkan budak bertiga tu, 2 orang pergi sekolah and yang si baby berak busuk tu pergi Nursery.I pun okaylah.As si Doctor ni ada morning surgery and need to leave her house early, maka dia pun confidentlah yang laki nya tu could give me a hand.Ye lah..manakan bisa I nak manage satu baby and satu 'challenging' baby.Kesudahannya,until yang 'abang' nya dicollect oleh transport untuk kesekolah nya, dengan keadaan I yang masih terkontang-kanting dengan baby yang sedang mengganas, Bapaknya itu yang sepatutnya menolong I masih lagi tidur. Sakit betul hati I.Nasib baik bukan laki aku kan? Harus aku siram air kopi kalau pemalas begitu sekali.

As I really need to get to work and si Daddy baby berak busuk ni masih belum lagi nampak batang hidung Yahudi dia yang besar tu, I decided to walk the baby to the Nursery myself.So,I pun pasanglah that baby harness and dengan seorang dirinya,terpaksalah I manouvre kan baby tu masuk dalam harness tu.Bila semua dah secure, berlenggang kangkung lah I jalan kaki.Bila dah ada baby ni,speed kenalah appropriate gitu, takut tercicir anak orang tu.Si baby berak busuk ni bukannya normal baby okay? Nak membuat dia aje cost the parents £3800 per egg scan.After 3 scan baru dia menjadi.

Si doctor ni tadi puaslah telephone mintak mahap dengan I atas attitude ke 'kerbau balau' an laki dia tu.I pon cakap I tak kisah but I heran jugak lah...sebabnya I jarang jumpa laki orang putih yang jarang nak tolong bini. Doctor ni pun mintak tolong lagi in the evening to ambik si berak busuk tu from the Nursery and siapkan supper budak-budak tu.Again, Doctor ni cakap dengan I yang dia dah bagi directive kat laki dia yang this time dia misti tolong I.Adakah dia menolong? Hampas....dia buat crossword puzzle sambil agah anak-anak dia adalah.

Dengan geramnya, I hambat budak jantan ber3 tu masuk dalam bath tub.Dalam hati I,kalaulah my mother or my sister tahu apa yang I buat hari ni, misti diorang kelakar gila pasalnya I kalau balik kampung,tolong bagi makan budak pun malas, apatah lagi nak bagi mandi.Setelah ku bagi makan Chicken Dippers and Mash Potato,dengan satu tangan dukung baby,satu lagi menarik yang sorang tu naik atas bathroom.Kagum tak? Yang eldest tu dah 9 years, so dia ni kira independent sikit.Dialah yang tolong tengok-tengok kan adik-adik dia bila I berhempas pulas cari diapers.Bila dah habis ku basuh budak-budak tu, mulalah I kena dress them up ikut turn.Mula-mula I ambik the baby berak busuk and start pakaikan dia baju.Si berak busuk ni, haiyooo..bukannya pakai baju selapis, ada pulak kena pakai baby vest yang sungguh seksa nak masukkan tangan dia yang halus tu...and pastu ada pyjamas pulak yang berbutang-butang serata alam tu.Tu belum masuk kena pakai diapers dia dengan kena apply lotion motion lagi....Half way through menyiapkan dia..si abang panggil I kata adiknya (yg ada learning difficulties tu) main percik-percik air.Hah!!! Terpaksalah I sambung hangkat si berak busuk tu masuk dalam bathroom and at the same time, lap lap lantai.Haiyoooo...terpaksa I sambung habiskan pen dressing an baby berak busuk tu atas toilet seat.Ibu Mithali sungguh.

Tiba-tiba I dengar doorbell and haaaa...maknya dah balik.Terperanjat mak dia tengok I jadi superwoman and dia terus ambik baby berak busuk tu and dengan marahnya tanya dengan I, mana lakinya and dia nak leter kan lakinya itu.From the bathroom, sayup-sayup I dengar laki bini tu bergaduh.But the laki I tell you, boleh jawab lagi macam petir kata kat bini dia yang dia busy.Busy hapa?

I hate to think that this is a typical Jewish man yang sepesen dengan my father yang tak nak langsung menolong my mother.I ingat my father aje yang macam tu...did I tell you yang dalam my mother sibuk menyiapkan anak-anak, si bapak I tu, sedap je order coffee...dia ingat my mother tu Mamak ke dia boleh mintak-mintak kopi tanpa belas kasihan gitu?

Tapi...biarlah.Moral dari kejadian hari ni tadi ialah I sangat kagum dengan kepandaian I menguruskan anak-anak dengan keadaan laki yang pemalas tu.So...I am now waiting for you to sing me a praise in my comment box.Chewwwaaahhhh...

Tell All?

Is it right to share our sexual secrets with friends, or are we indiscreet and attention seeking? Wehh..benda ni lah yang telah memenuhkan memory card I dua tiga hari ni.I strongly believe that part of the reason that I have been carrying these thoughts is because patient yang lately jumpa I ni semuanya bermasalah erotica gitu. God forbid mereka-mereka ni akan extend their work with me. Hopefully this work will finish in Mid March and they can then start telling others their graphic sexual conquest. I hate to give out the impression yang I ni tergolong in the type Belia 4B yang macam bagus hence tak suka cerita-cerita erotica ni. Tidak benar Tuan/Puan. Apart from being shy, I'm like any other young girls during the mid 80's to the early 90's hoping to bonk Raja Nazrin yang hensem itu. The thing is, like any other healthy (hik hik) woman,sex has always been a part of life that I enjoy listening (and doing) but not so much talking about.Malu kot.I think I am the closest reference to malu malu tapi mau and nak tahu...or just plainly and mildly gatal.

Our sexuality is private to the individual alone.Each one of us has the right to hide or disclose his or her sexual secrets, and not even life partner has the right to know everything about our erotic lives.Sometimes, people feel threatened if a lover refuses to reveal all, but it is vital to recognise the importance of setting and respecting good boundaries regarding sexual disclosure.Coercion is always damaging, and those who disclose too much end up regretting it. But it takes time and self-knowledge to acquire judgement about what to share and what to keep to oneself.Young people are the most likely to inappropriately share with third parties the details of their sexual forays - and end up facing the fury of a betrayed partner, or perhaps a reputation based on censure or misunderstanding.The common case of my patient (jahatnya...aku cerita kat uolss) is that they are sharing their details because they are insecure about their sexuality and are seeking feedback and approval from me.Ptuihhh!!! Boasting about their hot sex might be riveting for a listener like me and make the teller the centre of attention - but what is the tell tale really trying to achieve? To bolster feelings of inadequacy? To express triumph or a successful conquest? To assuage the hollow and unsettled feelings that often accompany meaningless sex? This particular young man that I currently counsel is constantly trying to convince me (or him, maybe) that a wild one night stand is what he really need, when in fact he is longing for a greater intimacy. I think for others (yang I selalu suka baca), talking about sex is a form of arousing sexual exhibitionism and their audience (me) may be turned on voyeuristically.Of course, published sex diaries or blogs can be both titillating and informative and these certainly have their place in the field of erotica but a tale from someone who tell you directly is 'shocking',exposes and they are rarely truthful.

As my job involve 'active listening',I have to listen to this this this graphic 69 thingy, human penchant for red and yellow (yikss..yikssss) and symmetrical experience. I hardly can get the word in like 'I appreciate your frankness, but it is making me uncomfortable, so could we change the subject?'. Especially to those who kompang like mad in their 40 minutes session, bragging about their 20 times per week record, leaving people like me yang cintaku bermusim ni feelings despondent about mine comparatively low average.

Don't get me wrong.Reading is always a pleasure.Between us there's always a nice presented tales of sauna hopping, express encounter and stuff. But not listening. Listening to graphic details is dreadful. You have this person in front of you flaunting his not so bagus sexcapade and have no private time to digest that info on your own. The worst is that you are forced to visualise him in your thoughts. Geli nya. The truth is,anytime we are talking about sexual experience, we have an agenda, which might be healthy.Providing we are not betraying ourselves or our partner, the healthy reason would be ; to learn something, to bond with the like minded and trustworthy friends, to have an exchange of ideas on the subject. The unhealthy bit that I can think of is apart from kompang meroyan, the pengompang itu sebenarnya is trying to convince that the bad experience was the opposite, to belittle your sexual partner or simply to attract attention.

People rarely tell the truth- the whole truth-about their sexual experience (exception yg muka kulit babi). Even if you think that you're getting a full details, you're probably only getting the ones that make the teller look proficient.

There we go.I will always going to prefer reading type sex education.Do you like to listen or read? Pray tell.

They Came And Gone...

I'm talking about the snow.Yesterday we got this news flash yang hari ni akan turunlah salji yang berukuran 6 cm.Honestly, I never count on weather forecast,baik dari mana -mana pun lah, nak nak global warming cam sekarang ni.The weather forecast can misled you badly.Only 3 days ago,the sun shines like it were Summer time.I popped out to get me a sandwich.My office and the local sweet shop 5 to 7 minutes walk aje.Because of the temperature suam-suam kuku,I resigned to the idea that I may not need my thick jacket for that short walk.Apart from that,I was planning to berjogging-joigging ria so that my built in heater akan berfungsi secara automatic.So,like bangang, I pun berjogginglah ke kedai yang menjual sandwich tu.I was not in there long tapi sempatlah free read magazine-magazine atas rack tu.That Indian Lady pun tak kisah pasalnya, office I banyak betul bagi business kat kedai dia yang overprice itu.So,dia janganlah berani nak buat sarcastic remark kat I.nanti, tak merasa lah dia nak balik India naik first class India Air tiap-tiap tahun if we decided to boycott kedai dia...Tup Tup..bila I keluar dari kedai tu, temperature jatuh to -2.5 celcius,and I'm only wearing 2 pieces of not so thick shirt.My you know what that time can cut glass anytime dek keras nya.

So, when I heard the news about the snow yesterday,even though I tak tahu betul ke tidak snow akan turun, I dah start buat plan tak nak pergi office.The night before, I called them and buat arrangement that I will be working from home.Ye lah tu.This morning bila my alarm goes off,as my bed was next to the window,the moment I opened my eyes,I can see the snow streaming down from the sky.I was telling myself,alah..sat lagi bila dah terang...berhentilah tu.In the end, the snow terus turun tanpa henti until about 1pm.I was having the most difficult time walking to the nearest Mental Health Unit tadi..(ooppss..ada pulak panggilan emergency,and I kena dash off sekejap) As I am so used to pakai trainers,the boot that is suitable for snowy condition yang berat nya mengalahkan 3 bijik batu tela tu sungguhlah menyakitkan hati.I have no choice but to wear that boot sebabnya,kalau pakai trainers kang, haruslah bergolekan jatuh atas salji tu (by the way uolsss...not a nice sight okay...) Salji ni, nampak je putih suci gitu...tapi kalau dah berjuta orang berjalan atasnya,pastu bila dia start melting,maka akan berupa celaka lah ia.Habis kotor jeans I.Pulak tu...rimaslah pakai seluar yang basah-basah kat area kaki tu...hish..tak kuasa.

But,before Mak badak gi kerja tadi,sempatlah kami buat plan nak ambik gambar.Bukannya apa uolss...dah bertahun duduk sini,takde satu pun gambar main salji.So we thought,manalah tahu satu hari nanti nak balik KL for good, ada jugak satu gambar bermain salji gitu.Buat syarat lah konon-konon nya...plus,bolehlah menjadi eksyen factor for those who tak pernah tengok snow.But by the time dia balik kerja and I habis kerja,the snow began to turn into this dirty leak from the sky.Heran jugak....apsal cepat benar cair? Is it got to do with the fact yang kami ni berada di West London yang agak panas sikit dari borough-borough London yang lain? Bila I sampai rumah,yang tinggal atas jalan is the salt thingy yang ditabur oleh lori Majlis Perbandaran Richmond ni...well, they used salt to prevent major slippery.So,apa makna ambil gambar main garam? Buang masa kan?

But according to the MET office,the snow will come again tomorrow.Tah ye tah tidak.I don't know why I never appreciate the snow.Dua 3 menjak ni.Maybe pasal banyak leceh dari fun.I think if we all duduk area kampung-kampung tu lain lah kot,pasal snow-snow kat kampung-kampung tu well preserved gitu.Pastu, cantik aje mata memandang.But bila dah kat London ni,yang dah kelam kabut dek sesak nya,mata dah tak cantik memandang lagi dah...in fact, mata akan pedih dek ditikam dek snow-snow yang turun dari atas langit tu.That is what happening to me now.My head sakit dek sejuk yang terlampau...and my eye balls hurts so much.All for what? The half a day show case? Sungguh buang masa.

Your Space, My Space..Where is Ours?

I have been missing from the web sphere since last week.Missing as in no contact at all.Not true about messing about with Pak Haji (if so) and I have not been messing with myself either but, I am so humbled by the concern.Apart from work yang tak reti nak surut-surut,dealing with head office people that doesn't seem to know each other eventhough they sit in the same cubicle and seeing a patient, I have been lying low.Lowest as possible.But I'm up again now,posting this after just finished emailing 20 pages of client behaviour analysis.(Sedap aje buat karangan pasal orang) And if I have time today (I doubt so) I will do some major bloghopping.

Yesterday, was the eleventh years since my younger brother's passing.He would have been 30 this year.But as my family disregard counting his death anniversary in bulan matsalleh (February), we only remember his passing in the 15th of Ramadhan yearly.Because he died in Ramadhan the 15.But I maintain remembering him in both dates...and I will continue to do so in future. Couple of years ago I had this dream about him, me and my two other sisters, in the scene where we were very young playing kejar-kejar.We were so happy running around gelak-gelak like a normal little children gayness.Half way through berlari-lari sambil ketawa-ketawa,we stumbled upon one Makcik that look at my brother in shock.The Makcik went 'Eh, apa buat kat sini...kan XXX dah mati'.( Need to explain, XXX is my late brother's nick name...taknak lah bagitau kat sini kan?) When hearing that remark, all of us (the girls) terkejut and my brother, still very, very happy laughing away and run to his dissapearance.All 3 of us went after him but he kept on running and running.Motif kenapa tak kejar dengar speed PT Usha? Itulah namanya mimpi kan? And I woke up with a tears streaming down and of course lah Mak Badak (as we were sharing room at this time) pun terbangun. That was the last I saw him in dreams.Tak ada lagi pastu.

So that's that.Last Sunday and yesterday was utterly sensitive for me and when I'm like 'that', I will recluse into siput and need not to be disturb.I saw my partner last on Saturday and after little disagreement (big issue, little drama) I decided to return to Twickenham malam-malam buta itu.Good job that I pinjam kereta Mak Badak, so senanglah nak commute.The disgreement is about, ahh..as always happy to tell...is about me moving in there.People might wonder why are we not living together and now that we are legally bonded,kenapa masih duduk asing-asing lagi?

Well, first...I have tried.Failed miserably.I don't like to be made feeling insecure and certainly do not need a reminder yang rumah itu rumah dia even after I contributed the appropriate cost.I have never duduk free (although, I like to be kept) But with orang putih, they will only spend money on things that they justify spending it on.But of course, I have never ambik kesempatan.In fact, I am the one that my partner should 'ambik kesempatan' from as I am earning more.That was the problem.I was made to feel insecure by an order for me to leave.Silap besar lah halau I.And since then, concept sharing is caring ni,with me, dah tak laku.Especially sharing dengan my partner.Don't get me wrong, I love the perks, like having someone who layan you like permaisuri, having company in bed that sort.But because of the habit of telling me 'this is my place...I can do what I please', inadvertantly you are pushing me out to a corner somewhere that I don't feel welcome.But I keep trying.People can see that I made an effort.My flatmates was amused by my courage to do it.The amount of energy that I put in and my endurance to what they see as a silliness.From time to time, the issue of 'when are you going to move in with me' akan timbul.And last Saturday wasn't a good time at all untuk timbul because after working the whole day, the last thing I want to hear is about someone act of self indemnity.God knows how many times we have talked about it.Suffice to say, words was not put properly owing to me yang penat and dia yang tak reti-reti bahasa.But why really? I have been analysing me for a while and I know that this will be the thing that I am going to have a major thing with.Sharing spaces.

I told my therapist how bad my life was before having to share things, dengan adik beradik (tapi ini diampunkan...pasalnya takde choice...or if I refuse,maka rotan lah jawab nya) the worst was having to share vital stuff in the school hostel which is not pleasant.I remember times when I have to fend for myself, my stuff and my food.Ramainya kaki bully and pencopet murahan kat Asrama Puteri itu.Habis pencil tick-tick aku dicopet (that's what I called mechanical pencil)

So bila makcik dah kayo ni...(eversince makan gaji) I am in the position of not needing to share.I even paid for the cost of the whole apartment when I was living in KL,Jakarta and Melbourne....ehh..info tipu, Melbourne apartment was given as a perk.I only started sharing with Mak Badak when we decided to live in London, which that time is very practical (even until now) So, my concept of sharing is different now,in the sense of you need to have people that care about you.And Mak Badak (amid kata-kata nista yang telah ku keluarkan padanya and vice versa) still care deeply about me.We are adik beradik in London dunia akhirat.Closest thing I have to a mother, and Mak Badak nombor 2, okaylah..tak mengacau sangat but kadang-kadang,dia sapu jugak Walker Crisp and Cadbury Whole Nut aku.Tapi, bearable lah.

I really love my current space.I'm so secure (if I'm still paying rent) in here.My emotional space is something that I find it hard to share as well.Although I'm not that sociable,I like the freedom of having to access to anything without having worry that I might offend anyone.If I nak gossip cakap melayu pun takde orang kecik hati.If I nak bertenet sampai subuh subuh hening pun takde orang marah.But I know for sure, I can't do that at my partner's.I can't see any of my friends is welcome there or me having to do things my way.Semuanya mesti main-consult consult plus dianya yang tak nak bercampur gaul dengan orang itu. This is something that I know I have to get use to and one day I will, not now.Tapi nak cakap orang, perangai my partner pun sama.Cakap gempak sharing is caring,tapi kalau aku terlebih masa tengok TV or pakai PC dia, habis aku dimarahnya.And bila I cuba nak kemas-kemas alih-alih barang, dia akan cakap yang I ni perlu memintak permisi nya.Hoii..sialan bukan?

So,why am I always being called a selfish little turnip wanting my own space and my own way? What about dia tu? Pun protecting space dia jugak, nampak gayanya. So, where can we live then? Belukar lah kot. What does that tell you? I'm a selfish cow. Menjanda lah tak lama lagi.