One Grouchy Episode

How's your week been? I started mine by mulling over...to tell this friend of mine of what I really think of her or buat tak tahu saja. We don't live in the same country fortunately and even if I balik KL, I don't think that I'll bump into her, but you never know your fate...sebab selalunya dengan orang kita nak elak lah kita akan selalu terjumpa. Like, I don't go to Secret Recipe that often...but bila I pergi, tak kan adalah I akan terserempak dengan Anuar Jen.

Allah itu maha mengetahui....akan niat tak berapa baik hamba-hamba nya. My mother, bless her soul...selain dari ceramah perdana and cerita jejak rasul yang selalu diperdengarkan kat I bila I dok dekat dia, she will also make a point telling me betapa hubungan sedara mara itu penting dan biarlah orang jahat kat kita, Allah itu maha pengampun etc etc....

She knows that I have stopped talking to some of our relatives. I know she is not singing and dancing about it but I think, she is just sad that I am still angry. How can I tell her that I am not? The anger has disappear (ye lahhh tu) I have buried them somewhere unmarked. I'd like to say it got better; it didn't. What works for me is that I should be separated from it. Kalau terjumpa tu lain cerita...I can't stop the hantus from coming to see my mother but what I can do is to go and sit somewhere away quietly, until they berambus.

Well, kesimpulannya, like always Amma selalu kata, biar orang jahat dengan kita. Jangan mintak or buat balasan. Serahkanlah kepada Allah. If only that is so simple. Sekarang ni, I am rather disappointed with this girl. Kawan lama...banyak sejarahnya...but sekarang bila masing2 dah dewasa, takdelah gunanya lagi mengingat zaman-zaman dia rasa dia bagus dari orang lain tu. Tu pasal lah orang selalu kata, choose only nice words, because you might end up chewing it back yourself.

MB1 kata salah I jugak..sebab I am a people pleaser. Ye ke? Tak lah jugak...dengan kawan yang ini tak ada apa nak di please kan...but I ni murah kesian and more than often walaupun hangat hati dah berbakul-bakul, bila orang tu cerita hal kain dalam dia koyak, I will be the one who would volunteer belikan dia kain dalam baru. Very the cakap tak serupa bikin, kann?

So ceritanya, recently I asked this girl a small favour, and I did say to her...apa2 expenses you nanti claim lah kat I, sebab I yang dok suruh dia buat itu ini. So off she went doing what I asked her to...and lepas tu, dia pun kasik la bill nya kat I. On top of the thing I asked her to get me, she also added this and that cost and pastu mintak (jokingly) extra.

Terus hati I jadik panasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Bley cam tu Kiah?

All I keep saying is that (sampai MB1 and kawan I lagi sorang ni) menyampah dengar is that..I'm not making this bigger fuss because of the money. Tak ke orang yang mendengarnya akan cakap..so, if this is not about money, bayar aje lah apa yang pompuan ni mintak.

Where do I start ye....2 years ago, I mintak bayarkan zakat...which dia tolong...and when I repay her, I added $200 extra. I pikir ni hari nak raya, I ni takde anak2 nak dibelikan baju kasut segala, so I pun sedekah la...(ke I rabun ingat duit $50 tu $1.00)

Kalau orang mintak barangan obersea...tahu sebut brand aje, makcik nilah bawak balik sampai baju nak pakai tak muat nak bawak...memikirkan...ye lah, nak beli kat Kehelll, benda tu beribu reganya...plus some of things yang dia hajatkan tu, takde jual kat KL. Uihh..talk about selera besar gedabak kann? Kita kecik2 dulu apa ke boleh main tudung oren je?

Pun, I tak mintak duit..I ni suka mintak makan...kalau you tak masak, then bawak lah I gi kedai makan yang best2...(bukan DOME ye Kiah...) I ni kurang makan kat UK..nak harapkan MC bawak I gi makan...janji pelsiewww semedang...alih2 aku yang disuruhnya tapau KFC. Chenta tahik kucing itu..kan Kiah??? Dia banyak masalah peribadi yang didatangkan sendiri oleh dirinya. I was always there to talk..walaupun jawuhhhhh ni beribu batu, time pun tak sama, walaupun tahu pukul 3am tu time aku tido, tetap dia nak ngadu untung nasibnya.

Memang lah kita ni tak sepatutnya mengharapkan balasan kann? Tapi, adakah kita juga patut get, get, get and forget or give, give, give and forgive? Tak terpikir ke oleh sipolan tu....that for once, dia perlu juga reciprocate budi/body I yang dia dah terima? I don't know why I am so kecik hati..what is so great about $40 tu, yang macam £10 yang I kadang2 lupa nak keluarkan dari poket lalu terbasuh dlm washing machine.

Am I that petty, Kiah???

MB1 cakap, okay, just pay her the cost of the thing you asked her to get you. But I cakap dgn MB1, err, actually I jugak yang suruh dia buat all the favour and offer to pay her expenses. MB1 cakap, eleh...macam you mintak tolong I beli susu, kat kedai je pun...itu pun tak nak sedekat tenaga ke..selepas banyak benda dia mintak tolong kat you?

Kawan I pulak cakap...is it worth to rock the friendship, just for that small amount of money?

Then I say, is not about the money.

I am still making this fuss. I haven't paid her though.

Kalau I bagitau MC, I dok terbayang dia kata..eleh you ni, bayar aje lah...salah you jugak. Siapa suruh you baik2 sangat dengan orang.

Yes, I should pay her...but I also want to tell her apa yang terbuku..and I think if I cakap, she will ask me to keep my money and she will be gone for good.

Ohh, dia tak bermakna dalam diri ku. (Nasihat anda-anda adalah saya hargai)