About Me

Monday, April 19, 2010

Ku Tak Hengen Duit Miewwww....

With the sulphuric ash shrouding UK punya airspace, maka ramai lah yang tak lepas balik ke Tanah Malaya.

3 of them is a so called bisnisman plus orang kuat parti timbang kati kat Malaysia tu. Because of the duit they all yang berkepuk tu, they can afford to stay in a hotel tak macam the rest yang terpaksa berkampung kat Heathrow ittew.

And out of respect to my friend yang puas memujuk rayu dan menjanjikan kuih karipap tanpa catuan, I agree to join her to gi makan-makan with these businessman.

I don't know what sort of business they're doing and I honestly didn't care. Business talk can make me feel awkward, as I don't know a thing. I have turned into this public service person who only think about servicing the public, not to extort money out of them. I grew up with businessman around me...so all talks about tender, contracts, over table undertable, deal and more deal...will not catch my attention.

But people's attitude will. Enough to impress or to annoy me to the highest heaven, filled up my container (ni bahasa psychoteraphy ye adik-adik..makna nya...filled up my head/brain) and can turn into blog entry.

One guy...hensem sikit aje from that Kinabatangan guy who married Zizie Ezette. One common thing about orang tak berapa hensem ni, they seems to make up their ketidakcukupan paras rupa with their choices of words yang to them...enough to make them a god gift to woman.

Another guy...okaylah...okaylah...okaylahhhhhh!!!!! tapi pendek. No surprise lah kan if dia sungguh terpegun dgn kependekan ku yang 5'8 ni. Prompting him to ask silly question ask his pembuka kata...you ni tinggi makan apa ye?

The third guy..is as bad as the first one. He is friends with my friend ni. Under my breath, I asked my friend, manalah kau kenal jantan-jantan sewel ni....of course my friend dengan muka nak nangis nya cakap..dah lah..jg komplen, kita makan aje pastu kita blah. On our way back, I critisised her choices of friends...not that I always do that but I would not have associated myself with sleazy bag like that 3. So called bisnisman millions-millions.She said, she only frens with one, the two just happened to be there. I cakap, ohh..bad smells stays together y'know....

The first guy have two wives and he made no secret of it. He openly said that he have been persuing my friend as his number 3 with no luck. And he think its okay to talk about that openly and jokingly on a dinner table.

My friend is a widow and lost her husband ages ago. By the look of it, she has endured his silly proposition and able to laugh it off. Baiknya hati...kalau aku lah, dah ku kapak orang tu.

Then, just about I want to enjoy my meehon goreng, 3 of them started throw questions at me. Why am I still single (hmmmmmmm) why this and why that. Sleazy questions like, I don't know what I missed...and the joy and pleasure. (Dalam hati ku...pleasure? With you? Ohh..Ann Summers came top lah)

Politely, as always I will always say jodoh belum sampai....and of course the first guy see the opportunity to 'joke' about his another two free slots. Not wanting to bruise his ego plus my friend was giving me this look of...layan aje la...cepat kau layan..cepatlah kita balik....I laughed it off to him and said..oh..tempting.

Knowing men will not take hint or no as an answer, he kept on mengasak I dengan soklan-soklan maha bangang. I think the rubbish that I am exposed to day in day out made the situation seems easy to handle.

Until..........

'You kan orang N9.....mesti mak bapak you pun memilih...nak cari orang berharta. '

'Pompuan kat sana kan dapat all the harta. Siaplah siapa yang kawin dengan orang pompuan kampung you...habis lah kepala diorang pun botak etc etc'.

'Kan ke N9 ada adat, biar anak mati jgn adat mati..agaknya tu lah pasal orang takut nak approach you kot'.

This, you all...dicampur dengan gelak-gelak bangang lagi puaka syaitan nirrojimmmmmm.

Orang selalu kata....orang bangang jangan dilayan. I am just about to do that...habiskan my meal and excuse myself for the day.

But, thinking of my sick father and how my poor mother had to put up with him, only for them to be slagged of as 'memilih menantu berharta'...really shifted my mood from the back burner.

I look at the man no.1...stare at him intensely. Then he noticed. He laughed. He said...amboiiii....dia dah marah lah. Cantik bila dah marah (Fuck you think that's funny?) I keep on staring at him and glanced at the other two.

The 3 went very quiet..not instantly but the laughter, their stupid laughter faded...and my friend gripped my hand...under the table..

Lepas semua orang dah diam...I said....kita orang melayu masih ada bad manners masa makan kan? Dah la kita cakap tak berhenti...lepas tu kita cakap pun, kita tak pikir orang yang dengar kita cakap tu apa lah rasa perasaan dia ke (Kiah...I will surprise you..I speak all this in bahasa)

Cik semua dah pernah berbini pompuan N9 ke? Laaa...kesian. Tapi takdelah pompuan tu bagi bangkrap kan..kalau tak tak lepas datang sini.

One guy said..we are sorry that you're offended.

I'm not, but I just don't understand why we have to discuss this over dinner and the fact that all 3 of you think its okay to slagg off women and their parents.

You all talk so highly, so posh about yourself..your business...and I am so amazed with your choice of conversation topics with strangers like me.

So..your wife must be so stupid to have married you or maybe just had to put up with you for your money. I'll bet your money turn them on...and not you. Sedih kan?

You should come and do business in UK often...bagilah kepala bukak sikit.

I looked at my friend, you dah habis dah? She looked so serba salah...then I said, let's go. Let them pay for the bill...they're millionaires and I am the one from N9. I looked at the man no.1...please say you can afford to pay my share...

Dia buntang mata kat I.....alah tak pe..tak hal...eh, tak kan nak balik kot?

I said...no, I am going for my 2nd round of gold digging. You're not rich enough..after all, you can only afford to eat at Malaysia Hall.

They said sorry, but aku dah sakit hati....we left.

Had the gunung berapi tak meletop, I would not have encounter those 3. Syaiiiiitonnnnnn.
Yes Izuan..I would have show them the fronted V sign, surely they'll think that I mean peace offering, kan?

26 comments:

pakmat said...

..cheers, lady..didn't I say that some men are just plain hoodlums..?..anyway, I was always of the opinion that rich men are not necessarily intelligent..class and breeding does not commensurate with how much money a man has in the bank..

..and you should not just walked off..a platefull in his face of whatever food you were having would have been just desserts..:)..followed, perhaps, with a stilleto kick to wherever his testorone sacs are...

dian said...

hebat !!!

lelaki lelaki macam ni memang nak kena ajar

mami said...

bravo makji..I wish more malay women are like you!....jejantan blagak camtu deserve a kick in the groin area..

Ayda said...

congrats mak ji.... you got more balls...

cik said...

Sembah ratu kat Mak Aji! But if i were in ur place kan..sure lagi laser kebabom i bagi bior nak mati esok lusa pun depa ingat yg depa tu sesungguhnya lebih bodoh drpd keldai!

Btw..couldnt agree more with pakmat..these people are bullshitman..

*emo seketika :P

Manal said...

And best of all? u have nothing to lose. Save one: they will remember u for the rest of their lives every time they wish to feast at lorong teres queensborough iteww....

ala2 air yang tenang jangan sangka takde buaya ya makji? dont test the water la kan?

Iron Butterfly said...

money can't but class. 'nuff said.

orang melayu ni kalau single sibuk tanya bila nak kawin, dah kawin tanye bila nak pregnant, dah ada anak tanya bila nak tambah lagi satu.

my answer varies from polite to kerek. rimas. pfft.

starla said...

AWESOME! SUPER AWESOME!

cocoa-crayon said...

Bravo makji! They effing deserved it! Perangai macam syial

mmg lelaki melayu (yes i'm generalising!) kalau kaya mesti rasa bongkak, walaupun bodoh sesemesta alam.

xx

Anonymous said...

Kiah says...

Senario 1
One of them even buat joke bangang classic about N9 i.e. kawin pompuan N9 tak best, dapat masuk 'suku' je..
then memang sah ko akan karate chop diaorg.

Senario 2
Ko tak cakap apa2, tapi dah berak 2, 3 kali, baru ko dapat ilham apa nak cakap and by then it's be too late..(ni macam gaya2 i je kan?)

Senario 3
Rope2nya, one of them tu memang milenair habis2 and anak raja lagi..he can't get you out of his mind after that incident. So he went back to kg and came back and wait for u at the door step and cakap, Esah, you got me at hello...

Awwwwwwwww!

Justiffa said...

Way to go makji... akak tabik spring sbb akak sendiri pasti tak mampu nak wat camtu.

Anonymous said...

sembahh ratuuuuu..
kudos makji!! *V sign*
kehkehkeh

Gembo said...

Mrs G:

Been a silent reader for a while until I read this entry.

Love your humor and gumption!

Those men deserved it - ur friend, however, mesti fikir 1001 kali kalau nak invite u to dinners with org cam ni..

bella said...

Chik Esah...been reading you for a while and this entry really really deserve a standing ovation!!!You go girl!!!I was just saying to someone the other day that Malaysians are so indiscreet, they will ask and say personal things about someone, even though you only know the person for about 15 minutes...what's up with that???cheers...

ladymarko said...

Saya orang yg ke-15 (kalu betul la kira2) menyampah gile.

*tabik spring*

you go girl!

AUNTIDA said...

Sdr Esah,

Am also a silent reader and have enjoyed your blog so much. as the others, i cannot not say anything any longer about this brilliant piece. Kudos!! And pox on the stupid, tolol men.

oghang joseh said...

pueh hati den. padan muko setan2 tu. mulut mcm longkang @ kelimbahan.den pun tgh menyiapkan senjata dan perisai utk memerangi dan menangkis dakyah jahat dan kotor dr den nyo client yg dah berbau tanah kubor tu. ingat den heran ko dgn biz dio yg nilai ratusan juta tu. den pun tak heran la dgn sifat dermawan dio tu. dio ingat dio buleh monang dgn wanita n9 yg berumur 3oan ni.

[danial][ma] said...

hej! hjh.esah...oh my! three stooges...

aking said...

hahahaha kannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!! tak pasalllllllllllll kene sembur dgn elkulejESAH

Anonymous said...

makji, padan muka sidak paloi ya.

catwoman

monstorious wife said...

I love what you did!

Seruling Senja said...

UUMANGGG AIII..!!! U GO GURL..!!!
Pakcik love the part.."stare at him intensely"...pergh..harus pipi diorang tu bergoyang-goyang macam hussin abu hassan..HAHAHAH...hah kau, tau kocutt, nak memain dongan pompuan nogori semilan! What you've did truly is a class act sistuh...pakcik with U..=))

Anonymous said...

bagus mak aji.. biag depa depa tu celik sikit bijik mata. ingat semua perempuan harap duit ringgit depa sangat... tak beradab sungguh cakap macam tu tengah time makan. otak letak kat kepala lututssss...

hani said...

kalau la semua ada kekuatan, kehebatan berkata kata macam mak aji.... aman la dunia kita. malangnya kalau saya di tempat mak aji.. mula la terketar2 nak bersuara.... last last mata je yg berair..... huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Anonymous said...

Makji Esah

i jumpa blog ni 2 hari pas mase berblog hopping...terus terpaut...lantas i anak tirikan kerja sklh i selama 3 ari nih...smbl ckp kat keje tu "ko g dok diam2 berabuk kat atas lantai itu, jgn kaco, mak nak bace bahan2 ilmiah makji esah ni"

-Cik SekupangLimaDuit-

p.s - makji hapdate la cepat...

Madame R said...

padan muka dorang. sekali2 memang kena bagi. tabik lah kat u.....