Lemak Kampung Santan

Apa ni uols? Nama hidangan terbaru restoran Chef Wan ke?

Katanya Hans Isaac, ni adalah pilem terbarunya yang kononnya dia memerah tenaga selama 2 tahun to ensure the top rank quality. Menurut sumber gossip yang I baca, walaupun Hans Isaac belanja lebih sejuta buat kerja santan ni, well...he only managed to recoup just over a 100k.

Seperti biasa retis Malaya, tak pueh ati ke, marah kat gilpren ke laki nya, semua pi tulis kat twit-twit kann? Retis Malaya, tayang gambar private mereka kat open media yang boleh di access dek sekandang lembu diladang ber wifi, pastu bila orang start berkata-kata teruslah mereka-mereka tu buat statement, ohh..sila hormati privacy kami. Boleh camtu, Piah?

I tak tengok cerita ni. Ye lah...I kan dok Hinglens uols...melainkan sesapa yang baik hati nak upload kat yutiup maka merasalah I tengok dan memberi ulasan.

Menurut twit-twit Actor Hans Isaac ni, lebih kurang..kuciwalah dirinya yang Lemak Bersantan dia ni tak berapa laju takings nya. Pastu buatlah statement, unless industri pilem Malaya berubah, maka inilah pilem terakhirnya.

I don't know much about Hans and his directing work, but is he really THAT great? I don't remember him being that great of an actor too. Alah kalau takat perasan hemsem, Badul pun boleh buat. From what I gather, he quite fancy himself as some sort of elitist lah gitu, set set Harith Iskander la..Jit Murat laa..like, bagosss lah kan.

Pernahkah Hans Isaac menjadi pesawah dan cintanya dgn anak ketua kampung terhalang? Or, pernahkah Hans Isaac berlakon menjadi samseng estet? Well, kan dia tu berbangsa ammapodi? Ataupun..pernahkah Hans berlakon menjadi anak ketua pelampau Tamil Eelam yang menagih samsu haram lantas terpaksa dihantar rehab oleh bapaknya Tan Sri Padaiyappa?

Nope. Not that I have ever come across. I last saw him in that movie where he was a samseng but Capt Lukman knows that bukan sebab dia aku tengok wayang tu. If you ask me, Hans Isaac tang berlakon pun dia akan memainkan peranan dia perasan bagus.

Now you got the gist kann? Yang I takdelah berapa suka kat Hans Isaac ni.

But, can he be serious and start pointing to the 'industry' for his failure? He is in the industry kan? He 'should' know better. He should know that...

1. Without a proven track record...i.e. kalau kau belumlah pernah buat cerita blockbuster box office crash boom bang, can you guarantee a huge turn out at the cinema?

2. If you are a suam-suam kuku pelakon yourself, do you really think that people will think that kau tu pun anak didik Speilberg juga?

3. Kiah & Piah. ---Oii, jom tengok wayang? Piah jawab..okay..jom. (This is so Piah..okay jommm..jomm aje walaupun ko ajak tengok filem iklan susu) Kiah will ask, cita apa? I say..Lemak Kampung Santan. Kiah, cisss...you will NOT find me anywhere near the ticket booth. Cerita bangang apa tu? Err...the return of Mona Gersang bila ah keluar, Kiah tanya.

So please lah Hans Isaac. I am sorry that you didn't succeed. But to blame the penonton sebab tak nak tengok cerita santan tu is sooooo...dumb.

Heroine gilpren sendiri lak tu...lagilah orang menyampah kan?

Bu the way, Lemak Kampung Santan ni cerita apa? Cerita tokey santan ke, cerita orang banyak makan lemak ke or cerita hantu santan?

Shatannnn tau tajuk.