Assignment 4

So, I am getting better at submitting assignment under pressure ni. But since last week, I have developed ICBA syndrome. maksud nya, ko sindirlah bergantang-gantang pun, I do it when I'm ready.

Bak memetik kata Kak Beyonce kita, Boy, the way you blowin' up my phone won't make me leave no faster put my coat on faster leave my girls no faster ----sambil libas rambut. Githoooo.

Ekcherli, the tajuk asalah assignment nombor 4 ini ialah 'The Life Of Abby' tapi sebab lambat nau I mempublish nya, maka ia telah diedit menjadi assignment ke empat.

Who is Abby? Elehh....Ustazah Abby lah, siapa lagi. I takde kenal orang lain nama Abby. I tell you, semenjak Abby kena main dek laki nya, I sort of automatically drawn into nak tahu cerita pasal Abby. Padahal masa dia dok fofuler dgn group Elite dulu idok lah I nak ngambik tahu sangat pun.

Why Abby? Hmm. I asked myself that question too. Somebody asked me to write what I think of that Seripah Lisenglisengliseng tu. Ohh, I don't think I like the idea of her. I cukup menyampah betul dengan orang yang menggunakan kelebihan nya (lebih ke kau?!) untuk membuli orang. She can go mampus lah for all I care. (iskk...bahasa I kenkadang)

Some years ago, my friend who was a journalist with entertainment magazine was asked to interview Abby. Abby was so 'in' at that time, with her being active with the popular all girls group dengan TV show ke entah masa tu. So kawan I ni ajaklah I ikut dia pasal dia dah dipesan oleh PR syarikat TV tu Abby ni kureng sikit skipping London. Kawan I tu dah lah BM tak berapa nak fasih, so I pun ikut lah.

The interview went.....okaylah. Lain kawan I tanya, lain Abby jawab. kalau dia dapat jawab soklan dengan betul pun, sebab soklan tu dah dipermudahkan untuk nya (oleh saya ni)  But Abby is very polite, soft spoken and pretty. Untung pakpolisi itu. But one thing I realised, Abby will just say things she thinks is right. In her mind. Buktinya bila dia menjawab soklan2 yang diajukan kepada nya. I can't remember exactly what was the question but the answer requires good knowledge of what is happening in the world at that time. She gave her opinion, however silly, it was her opinion and she obviously think it was a good opinion.

Alaaa...macam ada orang tu yang pi cakap kat kawan2 dia yang dia rasa muka dia ada iras2 Kim Kardashian. Masa cakap tu, kompiden dia Kim Kardashian jelmaan. Bila I tanya MB2, you rasa muka dia ada tak macam KK, MB2 cakap, what? Her hair colour maybe. Pun lately ni, orang tu masih lagi berfeeling kompiden. Tu hari dia kata dia macam KK, sekarang dia rasa rupa dia iras2 Nilupa. kalau lah I tgh depressed melampau, sure I terjun jalan keretapi aje bila dengar statement nya.

So Abby was unlucky, twice. With the same husband. Masa memula, fuhhhh...kesiyaaan I kat Abby (and for every women two timed by the husband for that matter). Kawan tu puaslah dok umah beranak menciak2 laki pulak memasang mata kat orang lain. But twice also, Abby went amuk at her husband place of work. I supposed bila hati dah panas ala Abby, dalam mesjid pun dia akan jerkah lakinya. (But the laki pun satu jugak...dah tahu bini kau ada propensity nak mengamuk tak kira tempat, kau pi lah settle kan masalah kau cepat2, kan?)

Abby went everywhere with her stories of hard done by. Masuk TV, masuk radio. Facebook dia agaknya jangan cakaplah kann..berkoyan kot menyumpah pakpolisi tu. Ceraikan saya..ceraikan saya. In the end, she got what she want. You think she will stop at that. Tup2 keluar pulak cerita duit hantaran pun ex laki berhutang dgn dia. Wehh kau dah beranak 3 kann? Then cerita nafkah anak lah. Then cerita dia tak puas hati dgn pompuan Memek tu lah...orang tu ambik gambor dgn anak dia pun dia marah. Haiya!

And of course all Abby's domestics is self-published. By her, thanks to the beauty of social media where everyone can think aloud later speak in transcript. Nasib baik dia tak terpikir buat videoclip lagu 'I will survive'  tak pun 'I hate myself for loving you' etc etc ditujukan khas untuk peminat-peminat nya via yutiup tu. 

Syukur alhamdulillah....Abby telah mendapat keredhaan Allah. Agaknya Allah sayangkan dia tengok dia tak berenti meroyan lalu terbukalah hati nya nak berhijrah. Orang yang dia benci pun boleh jadi baik siap bergambar telekong sedondon lagi (kau hado?) See, kekuasaan Allah tu lain macam...kan?

So life seems to be onwards and upwards la kiranya...since dah mendapat keredhaan Allah ni. Kalau nak berlakon pun nak berlakon ala2 berdakwah aje (ada ke berlakon dakwah? nama pun lakonan, lakonan tu kan macam hidup tak real, dakwah menda nya kalau gitu?) Ohh, agaknya Abby maksud kan, kalau dia berlakon, dia hanya mahu watak Ustazah Saodah yg hanya mengajar mengaji saja...dialog pun mesti berunsur Islamic, takde lagi nak bercinta sana sini. Then Abby pun start lah memandang kehadapan dan memasang cita2 untuk menyelamatkan kengkawan retis nya dari masuk neraka. And the only to do that is Essex, ehhh, masuk PAS. Ohhhh gitooo. Masuk PAS aje kompemmmm la masuk syurga, agaknya pada pimikiran Abby. 

Maka bermulalah....episod2..ceramah ala-ala mulut-mulut lepas via Twitter etc etc. lantas menyakitkan hati, melukakan hati orang yang mendengar nya. (Ohh...cepat betul masuk syurga gayanya tu)

Since I can't look at Abby, I can only hear Abby. All that comes to mind is...this not so bright lady with mind of her own. Even if it doesn't make sense, at all. I hate to think Abby was used to boost that political party she is supposedly representing. Kamonnn laa... PAS... Abby?  Bukankah fomfuen dalam Islam kena jaga mulut? Abby of all people should know that. Wanita Islam kenalah ala-ala Wan Azizah githooo.....diam aje, idoklah nak membukak mulut cakap yg bukan2. Abby should have joined PERKASA I tell you.

Seperti biasa, we will sums up that Abby is a classic mental health case. I must tell you, to be a good entertainer, you must have a special ability. To have a special ability requires...a special ..errr attribute. Might be a case of some slight defect on your brain. 

But I notice that...however hard and sharp Abby has become, the nation is just able to laugh it off. We wonder why? We are not angry like we should be. We are angry at the first lady and the husband. We are angry at Berahim Ali, Nuar Berahim etc etc.

But we...tolerated Abby. I believe that as a human, we are share the same sentiment. We have high compassion for the.....stupid. 

I am sorry, but Abby is stupid. So stupid she don't know it. And that, make us..or me, kesian her even more.

Agree?