About Me

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Everytime...Just Be A Friend

Okay….I filters incoming comments. My reason is selfish, that is because I want to read it first before you do. I figure that since this is my blog, memang sangat tak patutlah kan kalau I dapat information 2nd hand gituh.

I have always been aware that….we may one day come to some disagreement. You don’t like what you read in here. To some of you, when that (disagreement) happens, best thing to do is to leave unflattering comments. Of course lah ni semua kerja manusia anonymous kan…bukannya nak challenge point of view orang dengan cara berhemah.

Adakah I kecik hati lantas tak mempublish comments uols tu? Ohh…kalau setakat uols carut, calling me all sorts of name that you can think of with your limited vocab and bad spellings too, apa yang I dapat dari tempat kerja I hari-hari lagi teruk dari tu. To me, orang yang suka buat kerja2 camtu adalah orang yang tak berapa sihat akal, so pada I, you pun takdelah sihat sangat akal you, and kesimpulannya, kalau I nak berkecik hati pun, I akan buang masa saja. But nasib lah comment you kena CTRL-ALT-DEL kann?

Okay…one for the road before I menyambung kerja. Untuk adik yang bercerita kat I betapa risaunya dia dengan keadaan bff nya yang sedang mengalami relationship problems. Problems tawww….bukannya problem and that with her sticking her oar in, in a caring way is driving a wedge between them.

Wah…where have I heard that before?

Okay, I have friends who tell me stuff too. Stuff that they can’t just tell anyone. I have always bear in mind that when people consult me for advice, one besides the reason that they think they can trust you, these people sometimes don’t tell you stuff because they genuinely want your advice. You could be another pair of ears for them and your views are only sought to validate what they have always known or wanted to do anyway.

If someone is in a bad relationship, chances are, they know about it.There’s a strong possibility that their judgement is clouded by whatever reason. Love is one of them. Other reason could be, kalau ada anak and kalau you dengan orang yang you ada masalah tu are in some sort of enterprise together. I really don’t mean doing business together only. Having a relationship with another person is a partnership that needs working on, day in and day out.

I am with someone that I can tell you now even my closest friends didn’t approved of. I know why. Many wrongs than right. But I am so in love that I am prepared to just ignore the snide comments. Maybe because I know this person so well than the others do. Truth be told, some relationship aren’t great. Our partner can be this philanderer who never intends to change his/her way. Our partner can be….the type who would rather do something exciting that exhilarate them that does not include you. Our partner can be as boring as hell and it is still dull no matter how much sparks one tries to energise.

These sorts of persons may not be ideal in our relationship world. We dream of someone perfect, someone who love us no matter what and worship the ground we walks on, someone who will just be there no matter what….someone Anuar Zain.

But no. We can have Anuar Zain who creeps the happiness out of us but berperangai macam lahanat.We can have the one who worship everything about us but, in many ways..did not ‘get’ us.

We can say that we have the perfect relationship than others or better than our hard done by bff. Unless kawan kita tu mangsa terajang dek laki or boipren nya, terajang physical ye, bukan terajang emosi, maka all we can do is tell our friend how we feel based on our observations. Kalau dia nak dengar, dia dengar. Jangan ingat dia tak dengar just because dia tak buat apa yang you suruh.

Always remember that you are not them. You are not the one who is being tested.

Once I know of a married friend who told me that she is having an affair. She got herself into a pickle and in the end I have to say that I am actually more upset with her, supersedes my sympathy for her and her marriage problems. On the whole I can see a perfect enterprise between her and the husband but maybe not so ideal. She is way too selfish. But that is her.

Then I know another….and that after I learned and observed some truths; hate the living daylights of the husband. I focus on my strength to beef up the wife emotionally. Ohh…that’s what we social worker does, we don’t solve problems but we enable strength to the vulnerable one. Only to realise that…the wife is as bad as the husband, scared of the truth and continue doing what they both do well together, sweeping the their household dust under their carpet.

My point to you is, adik…unless one person is ready to change, they really don’t need your help to change them. Obsessing about others imperfection will only make you despise your good quality. We made bad judgement too. We made as much if not less mistakes than our best mate to know that making mistakes is inevitable in life. We talk silly, do stupid things and practical things do escape our minds.If your friend means a lot to you, you shouldn’t let her imperfections ruins your friendship. Maybe your role will arise soon….to pick up the pieces.

But for now, just be a friend. See her through this. Believe me, you will learn something too.

Good luck 

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