About Me

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Pressure & Encouragement

Do people still read blogs nowadays? (when you have pesbuk yang agak banyak lah jugak drama nya kannn?)
 
I don't know. Kedatangan I sendiri dalam blog adalah amat parah. Nasib baik lah I ni takda penyakit nak pressure pressure orang update blog untuk kepuasan hati sendiri.
 
Speaking of that....tell us, what's the difference between pressure and encouragement?
 
Dulu adalah kenalan I ni. Depressed lah adanya kerna katanya badan nya dah sebesar tong drum. Sarung apa pun dah tak chantekk la kat mata dia. So forever she strive nak nguruskan badan. If you ask me, yes she is slightly overweight...but tidaklah overweight to the extent menyakitkan mata dia dan orang lain or the type yang nak bawak diri sendiri pun seksa. If she lose some, surelah akan Nampak presentable banyak...but still, thin or plump, she is pleasant to look at.
 
Everyday lah I dok encourage dia swimming lah..itu lah ini lah...and she pulak is the type yang you suggest something positive satu i.e. naik bukit, she will tell you two reasons why she shouldn't...ada hantu la, leceh la..pacat la.
 
So I stop making verbal encouragement. I snapped every photos of gym I come across and hantaq la kat dia. Dia jawab ---you are turning into my mother so stop pressuring me. So I stop. Hati rasa macam sial ye...but mengenangkan dia tu kawan and the unattractiveness is the worst feeling in the world for a woman, so I keep my mouth shut.
 
When people and when this people is your friend keep banging on about how I need to lose weight, how I need to do this and that and masih gak tak nak mengubah cara dan gaya hidup nya yang kuat melantak tu, what will be the most polite way to talk to them?
 
I am sure we have million and one things to say to her but not to her face, kan?
 
Here's facts. When come to crunch, pressuring and encouraging manner can bear very uncanny resemblance. What your friends really want to hear when they ngadu kat you yang dia dah gemuks dan semua bebaju keroje nya sempit zip dah nak terlerak is..ehh, tak lah mana ada gemuks..or elehh..gemuks sikit ja...aku lagi cam badak etc etc.
 
Don't dare suggesting Scotland Weight Management. Don't.
 
Dulu masa I kerja kat menjadi staff gomen kat UK, boss I gigih suruh I buat Master. At times I think I should..nak compete lah dgn staff lenlain yang tinggi tahap akademik nya. But I pulak ngenang kan, haiyoo...payah tul hidup dan tak daya nak korban kan the year just for it. So unconsciously I resent the idea by giving excuses. The person I was seeing at that time pun idoklah academically challenged so, encouragement dari dia mmg tarak la kannn. Not, at that time I wasn't ready. I can still hear the excuses I made.
 
I have friends who made it through the PHD level. Ada yang sudah and ada yang sangkut. As a friend, I do my best to encourage. But itu ajalah yang kita boleh buat pun. Nak bagi nasihat lelebih or encouragement lelebih, saya pun taraf first degree saja, so apalah kelas nya.
 
I saw my supervisor recently and we discussed few cases. We discussed this too, how encouragement can somewhat lead to pressurising. We both agreed that it depends on the person on how they take the words of encouragement. If orang yang terima galakan tu tetiba menjelma jadi biawak dan bersikap defensive, maka dia adalah problem nya sendiri dan bukan kita si pemberi galakan.
 
So, where do we stand in the scenario nak cakap tak cakap salah ni? Nak play it safe pun susah sekarang...because if kita cakap I takde comment kang, kawan kita ingat kita tak supportive pulak kan?
 
Kan ke senang je cakap cam ni..if kawan kita tu rasa dia dah nak sama size dgn Syanie, cakap je lah..a'ah la..mmg you dah gimoks..so, ikut you lah nak buat camna.
 
Atau yang set suka ngadu hal laki dia dgn you...acknowledge je la..ye la, nak buat camana kannn?
 
Terlebih encourage kang macam memberi pressure pulak. Nak mengadu bebanyak kang orang kata attention seeking pulak...(well nak ngadu nasib pun kena berhati hati gak sekarang ni ye)
 
Bak kata boss I...wish her the best lah.
 
So kepada yang tgh dalam venture nya..menguruskan badan ke, memikat laki ka..habiskan study ka...all the best lah ye.

4 comments:

ummisara said...

Mak Ji...

*thumbs up* :)

Anonymous said...

This one friend of mine, everytime jumpa kawan asyik kata 'eh kenapa kurus sangat' eh kenapa gemok sangat'. Bukan nak tanya khabar. Rasa macam nk lempang jer mulut dia tu

seri said...

mak ji....harap dpt continue menulis kat blog nih. saya suka baca....

Emeelea Sani said...

betol makji, jangan lekang tulis please. with a cherry on top :)