Cerita Ku Cerita Mu

Uols, dibulan Remdan ni ijinkan lah I bercerita pasai manusia ni.

If you read me long enough, you might know who this person is. Tapi kalau uols tatau, uols bacalah dendiam ya.

Dulu kalau orang cakap 'there's a rose among the thorns', orang tu akan cakap pasai seorang pompuan dan dikelilingi jantan. The image of the pompuan supposedly is ayu-ayu gitu, ehh, when I say ayu-ayu, please don't count Raghad Kurdi as ayu-ayu ye? Nothing ayu about her...even when she pose lentok2 atas bahu lakinya. Ayu tahik la sangat. Roses are supposed to be malu-malu and disanjungi kumbang-kumbang tu...takpun another image yang sesuai ialah Emily Blunt ditengah-tengah Acappan, Muniandy, Param dan Rajagopal. 

The rose should stay the way she is seadanya...takyah nak jadik tajam-tajam macam duri-duri tu. The wanita ayu should remain ayu dan membiarkan jantan menjadi jantan dan bermuka tak malu.You know..when jantan can just piss about anywhere, kita takyah lah jadi cenggitu. Kita misti ada sifat pemaleww. 

So this Rose...once upon a time, dia kata muka dia ada iras-iras KimK, you wonder where could the resemblance be...pubic hair ke sama kaler? That's more like it. Pastu dia kata..ada orang kata dia macam Nilopah. Pendek kata kan uols, uols tenunglah gambo Nilopah tu berjam-jam, takkan ada nya uols nampak persamaan. Persamaan muka takdak langsung, persamaan size jauh lah sekali.

This rose is heritage proud. Dia kata dia ada keturunan set-set yang dok area laut mati sana. I ni dah bekerja dengan manusia dari macam2 benua dah uols, dan yang I tahu dari mulut kuda, keturunan laut mati yang Si Rose ni vangga-vangga kan ittew adalah setarap paria middle eastern saja. Tapi kita misti berbangga dengan keturunan kita kann......so takpa lah. Let Rose hang on to that.

I rasa si Rose ni baik orang nya. I dah jumpa dia dua tiga kali. Dan dua tiga kali jugaklah I rasa si Rose ni...ada sel yang macam tak berhubung dalam kepalanya. Bila saya jumpa kawan-kawan yang mengenali diri si Rose ni, mereka pun cakap benda yang sama jua. Kata mereka Rose ni pelik orangnya. But pompuan sama pompuan...melainkan kita dah benci sangat, kita jarang lah nak kutuk pasal seorang pompuan yang lain kann. 

Si Rose ni...secara terang-terangan dimata orang lain, sama ada dia sedar atau tidak (tapi saya rasa dia sedar lah..cuma dia tak berapa nak connect dengan reality penerimaan orang lain ja) adalah sangat sukakan attention....dan jantan. Opps!

I bagi uols contoh...I dengan Mak Piah dan aruah kawan I Kiah cakap pasal Asrap Muslim..maka si Rose pun akan menyibuk sama dan kata ex boipren dia takpun ada jantan seiras Asrap Mulim ada berminat dan berhajat dengan dia. Dan cerita Asrap Muslim versi si Rose ni akan berlarutan sampai ke adegan dia dan Asrap Muslim nya berjalan-jalan di Hyde Park dan membeli sun tan cream kat Boots dekat Bayswater sana. 

Rose takkan sekali-kali nak cerita berlatar belakangkan supermarket Giant. 

Hatta kalau uols bercerita pasal domestic violence dengan boipren pun, Rose pasti akan menumpang sekaki dengan cerita dia dengan secret admirer dia yang kaki pukul. Cerita nya akan bermula dengan adalah this macho guy I was dating but I dah halau sebab he almost tampar I akan secara tak semena-mena akan masuk.Gituhh. Bak kata aruah Ani BNS (pun dah aruah ni sebab dah lama tak nampak) apasal la kawan u tu Makji, tak habis-habis cerita ku cerita mu.

Those were the days. 

Nowadays, Si Rose ber aspirasi apolitical. Katanya dia neither here nor there. Nak kata atas pagar pun tak jugak sebab I rasa dia ni set-set I Love My PM. Well, tak kisah lah uols, you and your ideology kann. Segala kem dia bersidai. But uols tahulah yang taksub politic ni kan ke semuanya jantan...tu lah yang I kata dia ni suka kat jantan. Sebab dimana saja ada jantan, disitu lah dia. Ada jugak dia di page-page kelolaan pompuan, tapi dia kurang menyerlah disitu. 

Aruah Kiah kata I suka skodeng si Rose...takda makna nya uols. I ni bukannya pegawai kerajaan tertinggi yang ada masa untuk power nap in between tanggungjawab kepada anak bangsa dan negara. Nak bukak FB pun, harap kan kat telepon sebesar puk* apalah sangat yang I boleh baca. So kalau nak follow pro PM ka, pro ex PM ka memanglah kurang masa. Tak macam si Rose yang ada saja dimana-mana dan meninggalkan tapak kaki. 

Thanks to FB, tapak kaki dia lah yang selalu terkeluar kat wall feed I. Dan dari situ lah I tahu si Rose ni famous jugak lah dalam group group politic (jantan-jantan) ni. Si Rose ni adalah groupies yang famous gittew katanya. 

Thanks to my wall feed jugalah, I nampak same unsavoury comments about si Rose ni....kadang-kadang komen tu terlampau harsh dan sangat malu untuk I baca. Rupanya si Rose ni dah ada reputasi sebagai batu api. Selain dari batu api...Rose juga dikatakan sebagai suka bercakap lucah walaupun ber image Muslimah. Komen-komen berbisa terhadap Rose ni dikeluarkan dek jantan-jantan. Diorang kata Rose is the type boleh fish out ayat-ayat Quran and at the same breath, bercakap topic 18SX. Sampai satu tahap si Rose telah digelar 'excited spinster' dan memerlukan jantan dengan kadar segera. I yang baca pun malu. 

Uols. Media sosial ni kenkadang sial juga adanya. Bahasa kenkadang tu tak langsung melambangkan bangsa. I rasa si Rose ni dah tahu risiko berumah ditepi pantai maka dia tak kisah dilambung ombak. Malah I rasa Rose syiok kot kena lambung. 

Sebagai kawan prihatin I pun report lah kat Aruah Kiah. See, Aruah Kiah was gravely glued to cerita melayu fantasi bangang that I think she needs to hear cerita kisah benar ni. Masa tu, si Rose punya bahan cerita hanyalah menjadi alat gelak ketawa I dengan Kiah. 

But apart from the dark remark people made about Rose, adakalanya Rose ni level headed jugak. This can be evident from what she wrote. She made good and intelligent comments too. So kalaulah tak kerana Rose ni mencuba sehabis daya nak score point dengan puak jantan-jantan or wannabe one of them badass boys, I rasa Rose ni okay lahhh. 

Cuma yang I terasa sangat menyampah ketahap berapi-api, bila Rose ni tak menjaga adab dalam percakapan nya (ehh penulisan nya) Ye lah uols..Rose ni orang bijaksana. Beragama lahh as compared to I yang takda masuk specific religious school and she is most likely dari pamili yang baik-baik. So one would expect Rose must at least jaga kehormatan nya..jaga status nya. 

Bila dia masuk group Mat Macho A, maka Rose pun beria-ria mengampu-kutuk siapa si A ni kutuk. Kadang2 sampai lebih sudu dari kuah. I kadang2 nak tanya Rose...just because you dan orang2 yang you tak suka tu berbeza fahaman politik, perlukah nak panggil orang tu pondan gemuk, mamma boy la...whore la...

Rose...you rasa you size 10 ke Rose? 

Bila dia masuk group Mat Macho B, Rose pun beria-ria ampu-kutuk siapa si B kutuk. Infact, kalau ada orang yang tak setuju dengan B, Rose will come to his rescue dan marah balik orang tu. Begitu sekali Rose mengampu uols. Hik hik hik. 

Bila para pro PM kutuk orang opposition, ada sekali I nampak depa cakap pasal loyar pompuan ni. Loyar pompuan ni, dah nama pun support opposition, memanglah lantang kann. But selantang-lantang loyar pompuan tu, dia jugak yang menangkan kes budak yang mati sesia kena tembak polis tau. Rose dengan selamba buat komen terhadap loyar ni..is she still farking that XYZ. Wah wah Rose..mulut mu...kenapa jadi personal sampai cenggitu sekali Rose? 

Satu hari I ternampak Rose panggil anak Bang Nuar tudung selebet. Wah wahh....nak je I balas komen Rose masa tu. I nak cakap oii Rose, budak tu lawa Rose..as compared to you yang macam badak berendam. Anak Bang Nuar tu uols, pakai tudung periuk pun tetap nampak hot okayyy?

What I cannot tahan is that..bila group jantan kutuk2 pompuan, Rose pun sama join sekaki kutuk pompuan tu. Wahh.. just because ko nak score point dengan jantan-jantan tu, ko boleh pulak jatuhkan kaum ko sendirik ya?

Kesimpulannya....I merumuskan yang Rose suka glamour. Yess...rasanya Rose dah pun glamour...maybe sebab reputasi batu berapi tak pun sebab kenkadang Rose writes her opinion sensibly.

But if only Rose tak jadik hostile in her comments...yang secara terangan-terangan nak meraih bintang bintang dari puak jantan. I rasa jantan-jantan tu pun tahu Rose adalah groupie tegar dan worship the gravel the walk on....

Dan semoga Rose memperolehi jantan....ahaks!

Update

Here's what been said....pompuan gila saja yang kan percaya lakinya 100%. I wonder can the same be said about makpak, siblings or anak?

Look at us. Do we really lead the life of what others think of us? Or what others believe how we live it? Actually what been said about trusting spouse 100% wasn't the reason prompting this entry. I seen cases of double life and I think, I might be leading one, or even more. And people who are close to me maybe thinking yang I ni set-set pijak semut pun tak mati. 

I bukan nak cakap pasal double or triple life. I am sure at certain stage of our life, kita kena role play, ye tak? Kita kena jadi isteri mithali tapi belakang, sakit hati kat laki. Or, kita kena jadi majikan who berazam takkan dipergunakan oleh pekerja. Or kita nak jadik gilpren yang setia tanpa dimain kayu 2,3 dek pakwe kita. 

Thing is when you are too cautious, you jadi penat. You constantly musing whether to do or not to do, to believe or not to believe. Nak ke hidup camtu?

I was talking to my friend about our friend yang dah 4 kali bertukar laki. Considering dia ni pun baya-baya I, this friend of mine kata yang her circumstances is unusual. Ye lah...kawin cerai, kawin cerai. Bunyi nya macam tak best. But looking at it with a sharp perspective...it can either be ;-

1. When she feels love, she acts on it. Kahwin lah. What's so difficult about getting married? Takda nak decide-decide whether nak kahwin dengan yang ni ka, dengan yang tu. 

2. Dia berani buat keputusan..ya lah, one marriage didn't worked out, so berambus lah kan? Buat apa nak save, save, save...dalam pada nak buat misi menyelamat tu dah membuang masa...cinta makin tak ada...so cut the losses lah kan? So we should waste no time wallowing self pity, maka kita pun keluarlah dari kegelapan tu and mencari hidup baru. What is there to be serik about? 

I received few proposition in my time. Ada yang I betul-betul suka...tapi dalam suka-suka, rupanya dia ada orang lain juga. Bila you dah sayang...at times you either didn't realised or refused to see things thats coming that has hazard potential. Ohh this is when ada orang bagi nasihat, don't go in in love giving 100%, simpan la sikit kot-kot tak jadi and then you have like 10% to get by after that. 

Nasihat ni memang la bangang. Ke you tak tahu yang dalam hidup berlaki ni, kalau laki kita tak dirampok orang, dia akan diambik tuhan. So, dari mula sampai your timing is up, you nak hidup dalam insecurity ke?

Or, on another view of life, can't you just enter into a relationship resigning to the possibility that kalau takdir jodoh you lama, lama lah dia and kalau sebaliknya, redha sajalah.Jangan lah jadi macam Awie uols, dah buat silap, boleh pulak ngaku dia kita mandrem. Pigidah mabuk!

Well, tu kalau kita terlampau berhati-hati dalam hidup dengan laki. But what about doing something you really like in life? ----(beli handbag tak kira)

Can you not follow your passion without having to think about what if...what if ? 

Perhaps, following a passion is just the wrong way to phrase it. It sounds like it’s there in the world fully formed, you just have to dig it up under the right bush. Really, you have to foster a passion. You have to actively put some work in and try things, and try them for a little while, and get into them, and then you switch. Part of grit is actually doing enough exploration early on, quitting enough things early on, that you can find something that you’re willing to stick with. So I don’t know that there’s an easy prescription then for telling people how exactly to do that. But I think one misunderstanding, which is very dangerous, is to suggest to people that passion just falls into your lap, and it’s love at first sight. 

No, bukan macam tu ya...

Maybe, what we should do is not to be too cynical in life. Shit, happiness, grief etc etc..pleasant or unpleasant is part of a whole life package. 

Wardina

Or must we call her Setazah Wardina now?

Our path crossed many, many years ago. Wardina was a different person back then. Even one of my crew who knew her personally (sebab depa dua ni satu sekolah lah agaknya, I pun dah tak hengat) kata Wardina is not as innocent as she looks.

Of course la, kepulauan Acheh telah berubah setelah Tsunami. Dan Wardina pun berubah juga. Kearah yang lebih baik. Alhamdulillah.

I stand by my thoughts that, agak payah nak maintain outlook serupa Prof Muhaya kalau kita ni dulunya adalah Nabila Huda. Iskk...tabbaik I gunakan NH sebagai contoh tapi kalau uols ada cadangan nama gadis-gadis liar, meh la kasik I. Liar ni tak bermakna jahat ya. Hidup kurang boundary saja...makna nya, set yang tak berapa nak kisah untuk menjaga hati orang sangat. 

Macam Setazah Abby Adidas pre laki baru lah. Dalam pada nak memaintain image Islamic, terlepas juga sifat pemarah, pemulut lepas dan kurang berfikir nya tu. 

So, what's up about Wardina?

Wardina lamented about having privacy in relationship. She said kalau dah tido sekatil and etc etc, how come phone or password FB email cannot share. She said, semua pasangan kena tahu. She say, your phone is who you are...(ishh..tatau lak I yang I berchenta dengan Iphone 6s Plus hik hik), your partner deserves to know who you are, who you talk to and what you talk about. 

Kesian laki Wardina. But saying this, maybe laki nya pun macam dia. Share sodalam bini dimasa-masa darurat gittew.

Meh sini I nak bagitau uols, kalau ikut kan I lah...every person deserves some sort of privacy even between partners and spouses. Well, why not kan? Kita tengok lah privacy tu yang macam mana...macam, kalau kita ni jenis kaki gossip tapi partner kita tak berapa berkenan kita pokpek hal orang, maka terpaksalah gossip session tu dibuat dibelakang dia kan? 

Ke Wardina ni ada trust issue? Because it is so apparent dia menngunakan right to access privacy lakibini untuk meng cover yang dia tu lack in trust. Based on her post, she just wants to own his entirety. Her statement does strike me as coming from someone who only view her partner as her property and not manusia. Macam insecure kan? 

I was in a serious relationship before...ada jugak orang tu sorok-sorok main phone dia dan I pun lebih kurang gak lah...tapi takdalah pulak sampai nak cehck messages dia. I ni pulak bangsa who needs my own space and privacy at certain times. Rimeh lah kan kalau dok kena interoogate semedang. 

Ada benda yang kenkadang kita tak share dengan partner...well, kita kan tahu benda yang dia suka or tak suka.  I am sure my mother hides things from my dad and he does the same. Especially rahsia keluarga or stories about children yang akan mengundang kemarahan bapaknya. 

Ada pulak yang dapat partner yang memang tak nak ambik tahu hal apa pun melainkan kalau dia ada berkepentingan. 

Ke Wardina membuat posting tu untuk menyindir laki dia? Manalah tahu kan....she speaks in general kononnya tapi ditujukan secara keras dan tajam kat laki nya sendirik. 

I tell you, kalau spouse you rasa you patut tahu, dah lama dia include kan you. Why don't we view this 'unspoken privacy request' sebagai penyelamat kepala hotak dari memikirkan benda yang kita tak patut pikir. Like, elok la kita tak tahu...so kita takyah lah pikir.

But kalau hobi you mengambik tahu apa activity laki/bini, nak tahu siapa kawan FB, kawan email or dengan siapa dia dia bercakap..you buat lah. Nescaya masa you nak berkawan dan melihat dunia pun akan berkurang sebab you dok lah nak menjaga tepi kain spouse you. 

Sekian. 

Open

Ketua Jabatan I dulu selalu suruh kitorang baca email, especially email yang boleh mengundang sakit hati, dua tiga kali. Boss kata, don't jump the gun yet, read again later...you probably look at it differently.

Selalunya betul. Well, I kan suka psychoanalyse. Word by word kadang2. Ambil kira perasaan dan situasi masa I tengah baca tu. Sometimes between us colleagues, clients and other healthcare professionals, we go locking horns too. Just because dalam review meeting clash, pastu kalau orang tu hantar email ka, buat statement ka, mesti kita akan emosi or defensive semacam. 

Kadang2 ya..dan kadang2 tak. Dengan homputis pun adakalanya kena pakai konsep husnodzon jua. Untuk tidak menjadi lebih gila. 

Tadi I terbaca satu posting FB, katanya, bangsa Melayu ni rugi adalah kerana malasnya membaca. Kita hanya rajin baca pesbuk. Baca update group sana sini yang kenkadang tak membawak hasil. Macam I lah, suka nau tengok update abangkak Ajuwan Ali, pasti dapat sakit hati yang chronic. Some of us suka baca menda-menda gitu. Pastu sakit ati. 

Ada benarnya kata-kata pompuan tu. Kita melayu ni suka benar tarik sodalam lelaju sampai bersimpul-tersimpul pastu naik anginnnnn. Takdanya konsep, agree to disagree. Especially bab-bab agama. Kalau Tok Guru kata camtu, kita ikut ja lahhh. Nama kita nak cari 2nd, 3rd opinion...jauh sekali. We don't care if its sahih or not. Kalau kena dek kita, maka kita pun iya kan aje. 

Macam kes anjing la. Kalau ikut Bani Melayu, perkataan anjing tu ja dah haram. Belum lagi ko nak belai-belai anjing tu. As if when you nampak anjing, ko bunuh la dia. Macam2 argument. Can bela, for but keselamatan only...as in, kalau ko bela anjing tu, ko takyah bagi makan meh? Ko tak yah praise praise anjing tu..gosok kepala dia cakap terima kasih la nakk jaga reta menda aku? Ko hengat boleh ka anjing tu ko layan cam Kunta Kinte?

Nohh. Anjing haram. Babi haram. So perangilah anjing dan babi. 

You remember pompuan G25 yang cakap pasal all this pegawai pencegah maksiat cannot just pi skodeng pembuat-pembuat maksiat? Something in the line, privacy is privacy. But the pembaca terus la naik hangat pungkok kutuk dia lah, even making rape threat. Well jantan, tu lah dia kalau nak tunjuk kuasa kat pompuan...buat ugutan yang rupa cenggitu. But read again...apa katanya. Did she say she condone maksiat? Far from it. 

In view of current affairs in Malaya over religious authorities (and self appointed experts) behaving as though they are THE ABSOLUTE authority on religion and have the right to dictate on how others 'must' practise their faith. The delights of religious bigotry, masked as righteousness.

Pastu dengan konsep puasa Bani Melayu yang terang-terangan salah...takleh jual makan time siang hari la...macam nak encourage orang makan curi-curi and kononnya tak respek bulan puasa. 

Puasa ni kan,  is about self control, not about other people respecting your puasa. This is the same as expecting the non Muslim to paham-paham bahawa seksanya kita berpuasa and respect bulan puasa by not eating infront of fasting folk. Kalau diorang abstain, their sentiment is greatly appreciated. If they don't itu u punya hal, not theirs. 

Kuat nya iman kita kann....sampai orang nak makan depan kita pun tak boleh. 

And for those yang tak boleh langsung puasa? Cannot eat lah?

Then we have makanan sunnah. Air zikir what have you. Ayam terapi Quran? I am sure that ruqyah healing can't be outsourced to dead chicken!

Talking about people exploiting religion kann for commercial gain but yang tukang membeli tu pun, satu hal la jugak. Kalau bersambut tu, maknanya makin adalah supply untuk ayam-ayam terapi Quran tu kan? Kitanya tak baca Quran tapi ayam yang nak masuk perut kita kena dibacakan Quran. When people say 'have faith' , I'm pretty sure it's not the sort of short cut faith you can buy off shelves and at a pasar. 

There's only one way to having an otak/minda tajam, that is to work hard at educating yourself, continuously. Read things that challenge you, have meaningful discussion and debates dengan orang yang equally knowledge hungry. 

Kenapa kita tak open minded eh? Ke kita yang sekat keterbukaan kita ni? Kenapa bila ada orang opinion lain sikit kita terus jadik serigala jadian?

Kita nak apa sebenarnya?  

Update Yang Emo

There are people on my Facebook who I am sorely tempted to unfriend but kenot la kann...ehh, boleh sebenarnya kalau I ni bersemangat waja to deal with aftermath text messages. Dan juga pertanyaan kengkawan lain. I am just lucky that numbers of relatives tersangatlah kurang because of my strict policy.

 

Sesuai dengan kedewasaan rakan-rakan sebaya I, of course mereka yang dulunya adalah bohsia sekolah sekarang dah jadi ibu dan isteri mithali yang mengupload segala benda yang dimasak nya kat dapur dengan caption semi-puaka, ala-ala nak kata la, air tangan dia lagi berkat and not some lauk you buy outside etc etc.

 

Eh baii..elok lah kalau ko masak for your family but must you taruk caption yang bakal mengecikkan ati kengkawan yang takdak choice terpaksa beli lauk or import leftovers from umah makpak diorang?

 

Tu belum lagi part part nak bagi education kat anak...discussion among themselves on what is good and I dengan rakan-rakan sekapal yang lain nganga ajalah...ye lah, apa nak diajar..French lesson ke bahasa Arab kat anak meow I tu? Pastu debate la pulak sesama mereka, yang one think that Bahasa Arab tu maha penting la sebab tu bahasa Quran la etc etc. Mind you anak baru 5 tahun. Sakit gigi pulak I baca argument diorang...nak mencelah kang dikata nya I ni tak tahu apa sebab I belum ada anak. Then sorang lagi masuk dengan recipe-recipe macam mana nak disiplin anak (without knowing what I do)

 

Tah la uols. Yang i tahu and I think kita semua pun tahu, there is learning appropriate at every stage. Brownie points is good, but biar yang wajib dulu kita ajar. Respect, tolerance, kindness, discipline. Kalau anak you set-set yang tak reti hormat tuan rumah bila jadi tetamu, nak salam tangan pun tarik-tarik muka but you pulak heboh nak masukkan dia kelas Kumon, maka I yang takda anak ni lagi tahu mana arah nak ditunjuk kat anak you yang telah dididik menjadi anti sosial.

 

Kalau anak you set set yang buat umah orang macam umah dia, first lesson, ko cubit ja anak ko tu sampai biri bijik kundang! Kalau anak ko tantrum sebab tak dapat main Aipek ko backhand barang sedas...ni semua lah kalau reasoning versi parents homputis dah tak jalan...terapi hanger jawapan nya!

 

See, uols sebagai parents memang la banyak cabaran hidup. Dengan anak la, dengan laki la...but there are things yang nampak tak penting but vital for self-happiness.

 

Going off tangent lagi, I have wanted to list this things down for a while now. My mental notes. Something to remind me what is so important to wake up for, to live each day towards.

 

Too many people now live to escape their reality. We do it every day...kalau hari ni hari Rabu, you keep saying ahh can't wait til Friday and then weekend. Macam lah weekend you menjanjikan hari bahagia. Why can't you just live the Rabu without wanting it to finish quick? Why can't you just create a good day for you, a good reality that you don't need to keep escaping. I am so guilty of doing it. When thing is pressing in Malaya, I can't wait til the day I am in KLIA checking out KUL. Why can't the life you lead is good to make you smile eh?

 

Then this penyakit of judging too quickly or in FB now, sharing it too quickly. Takdalah nak check benda tu masuk akal ka, bodoh berdengung ka. Well to aspire not to judge is perhaps impossible kan? Judging should happen after the facts have spoken.  But what is key is to understand that it has to be factual and that even facts can change a picture as it evolves, redefine by perspective and more information. Still kalau bercanggah pendapat, why can't we do it kindly?

 

Another thing that is bothering me slightly is just how less exclusive time we have with ourselves dan memberi peluang kepada orang meng assume kita yang macam-macam, kan? Ke I yang paranoid? I sebenarnya kan uols...tersangatlah anti social. Ada masa memang I tak nak ada dekat orang langsung. Sometimes buat menda sensorang ni selamat. Ye lah, kita tak tahu apa hal kita yang kawan kita dah pi broadcast kat orang. Ada manusia yang take pride menjadi bahan berita sensasi, yalah dia lah yang tahu semua benda...sapa gaduh dengan siapa etc etc. Now and again, kalau kita dah tahu diri kita ni bakal menyakitkan hati orang, we can always do it alone. Not needing to to have someone else to keep me company out in the world. Relish lah...the freedom of eating alone, tengok wayang sensorang or just allocate one or couple of days being thoughtless that you aren't worried about anyone else. Ada branik?

 

To those friends yang I dah kurang bercakap atau dah tak bercakap langsung...it has come to the point that I have to be comfortable with the idea that my truths may be wrong. Looking back, I have dissapeared from certain radars. At that time I have to..sebab sakit ati. Thinking back maybe it was stupid but hey, had you care about my feeling you wouldn't have reduced me to feeling upset. So I tak cakap dengan you...dengan suku sakat you. Tu belum lagi yang I terperangkap dalam crossfire yang tah hapa-hapa lantas mendapat reputasi pembawa mulut. Too often people argue because they have different perspectives of what is truth. You think you were wronged but others around you just see that you've been a big crown Diva. This is rooted in the almost arrogant belief that almost all humans have yang bahawasanya ko je la yang betul. Ni satu peringatan untuk I lah ni...that I cannot be arrogant enough to think that I am infallible and correct and think lesser of you. Walaupun ada ketikanya dalam situasi tu I lagi pandai dari you...payah ni...especially dengan aruah Kiah. (has she got new name now kannn hence the aruah)

 

To my remaining friends yang after all that happened and we are still on talking terms...sebelum topic gunung berapi seterusnya. The gunung berapi is the vital point in friendship, can we tahan the lahar? Trust me, all we want is to be remembered and known as that very nice person with all nice things that came out from our mouth.

 

Takde nya yang nak jadi laser Obiwan Konobi. Melainkan memang dia nak reputasi mulut bak halilintar. Elehh elok sangat ka?

 

So, hari ni saya sangat emosi. Di kejauhan ini kucing favouritie saya belum nampak jalan balik lagi. Pasal tu la menulis pun mood cam lahanat. Once upon a time I was alone and sad in that great big house and meow tu lah yang meneman I.

 

Doakan lah kucing I tu pulang....uhukk uhukk uhukk...

 

 

Takda Tajuk Yang Sesuai

Did you all notice that recently, makin ramai pulak para-para single (or re - singled) men (of the straight persuasion) their 40s today have the Peter Pan syndrome. Apa tu? Alaaaa...syndrome takmau tua la...tak mau grow up gittew. I recently discussed this with my friends and we raised the possibility that they are so because of their women empowerment. 

You know, some of this men ada bini garang, mak garang..or adik beradik pompuan yang garang..berkuasa..tak pun...they have women that did everything for them. Ohh batuk! So...because women have become so strong, that they have become conditioned to be weak.

Weak la sangat...blah la. Jantan nowadays or forever, memang pandai mencari excuse. Okay..firstly, don't read this post thinking that I am preaching feminism here. Not in this this one. But I menyampah betul dengan set-set jantan yang pick and choose when to lepas tangan ni...and, I jugak menyampah lah dengan para-para pompuan yang rasa they have to take it all in...sebab tak mau berdosa la etc. 

When you hear stories about wives yang making sacrifices for their family, bertebal muka just in time to jaga air muka laki but the laki tetap la dengan ego dengan taknak berlebih kurang nya, you wonder why that woman still want to stand by him. Here's one account of story yang sampai sekarang I tak faham, kawan I ni, financially dia dgn laki dia gak strapped juga, but life is doable. Live within their means la. Satu hari kawan I ni ter discover yang dia maybe mengandung. The stick is saying yes but belum jumpa proper gynae or GP lagi. Boleh pulak laki dia marah dia apasal termengandung.

Macam lah perbuatan mengandung tu boleh dilakukan secara solo ye tak? I cakap lah kat kawan I ni, kalau laki you yang takmau sangat beranak, why not dia up sikit protection dia i.e. pakai lah sarung. The laki takmau. Bab tu dia mau freehair pulak. The bini must put stop to all baby formation. Mangkuk betul. Yang lagi I tak paham, wife dia pulak yang berusaha sensorang to make sure dia jangan mengandung. And she didn't even komplen. Laaa, naik lemak la jantan kau!

Then kawan I yang sorang lagi ni...semua masalah rumah dia macam dia saja yang tanggung sorang. Macam dia saja yang kena sakit kepala pikir and the laki yang do as he pleases and at his own time. Sometimes I really think men amik kesempatan using agama. Ko tak dengar cakap aku ko dosa. Ko keluar rumah tanpa izin ko dosa. But dia tu keluar sesuka hati tak hormat perasaan bini, tak dosa meh?

Mana pergi nya jantan gagah perkasa yang handles everything? So its the woman's fault again? For being overly helpful nak membantu para swomi la kononnya and tanpa mereka sedari mereka telah menyumbang kepada pembiakan bacteria Peter Pan ni. I am not talking Peter Pan band Indon yang lead nya buat bideo lucahs tu ya. Kalau kita dapat laki yang Peter Pan ghopa tu memang lah bahagia hidup!

Personally I think it's just that the men haven't sufficient sense of responsibility nor maturity to take all the responsibilities just like their forefathers do, and instead of owning up to the fact and doing something to correct it, they choose to lepas tangan and dengan happy nya pi blame bini for everything. Even if the bini yang buat mistakes, but kalaulah pertolongan di offer oleh puak2 mengaku pandai ni tadi dari awal, kan bagus? Yang paling tak best nya jantan yang lepas tangan letting wives fought their corner, pastu bila shit hits the fan baru dia nak masuk ambil alih but yang paling jahanam, buat buat macam all problems have got worse pasal the the wives campurtangan and now he is coming in as a hero dan lagi menunjukkan kan wives depa nampak jahat dan bodoh. Bukannya dia nak support bini dia! This is essentially being man-children or erti kata lain nya..bola takda!

What worse is...some women allow this. As in..ohh you have got to make your men feel useful, raise your men because if you don't no one else will. Bongok tau ideologi cam gini. Nak jadi supportive or isteri mithali bior la bertempat. This in a way regresses women's issues.Laki kau tu adults tau, so act like it. I ni suka pompuan yang menyokong laki but stroking ego laki kau cenggitu, takkan ada nya hasil kak oi. Nak kata kau akan dilambakkan dengan meh permata...di servis 3 kali seminggu paling kurang, takkan ada la yang ko nak score mithali points sangat tu!

Lelaki terlebih gagah pun lain pulak motivation nya sekarang. Kegagahan perlu ditunjukkan dengan mencari bini sorang lagi. Nak lagi gagah, you make it to the point your 1st wife have no other choice but to redha to her fate. 

Kalau men nak counter attack, women yang never grow up pun ramai gak but since korang pun dah kata kami ni supposedly be the weaker sex so it's okay lah kan for us to remain dependent. 

Menyampah pulak I tulis pasal ni !

Ni (Cerita Si) Kobis

Hey uolsss...salam Ramadhan ya...Makji uols ni akan berusaha sedaya upaya untuk tidak menambah saham dosa yang ada sempena bulan Remdan ni...harapannya.

Dan uols jua, cubalah bebawak tingkatkan tahap toleransi uols...kepada mereka-mereka yang tak berapa centre akal nya. Kasihani lah mereka uols...susah kenkadang nak tahu mana salah dan mana betul.

Alangkan kita yang tahu bawak keta kat lorong kecemasan tu salah, tak makei talipinggang keledar pun salah...tetap gak kita buat kan? So apakah alasan kita? Kecelaruan akal ni boleh terjadi bebila ja uols. 

Umumnya dah tahu hal Kak Hassanah. To all tudung-defiant mulalah start picking the obvious yakni, kalau dah bertutup litup camtu, you are bound to regulations yang ko takleh langsung buat salah. Nahh hambek. 

This is one puak yang I tak tahan nak hadap...you tak mau pakai tudung or tak reti...or any alasan yang you ada, no need lah buat disclaimer, pakai tudung pun jahat so buat apa pakai tudung? Wahh wahhh....free hair kau tu lesen besar lah nak buat perangai Lindsay Lohan time mabuk ke? As if pompuan pakai tudung kenot implicate themselves with almost anything but menjalani kehidupan mithali saja. They can't even have sex...kalau nak di ikutkan...cemtu lah. 

And kepada sipemakai tudung...dah ko pun satu lah kannn....bila dah buat keputusan menjalani hidup kearah jalan Islamic tu, cuba-cuba lah conform to the Islamic norm. Patutnya bila dah bertutup, nafsu nak buat reja-reja nak tak diapprove masyarakat sejagat ni, ko toksah lah buat. 

But hey...siapalah saya. Cuma fed up lah dengan tudungs-defiant serata Malaya yang secepat kilat ja buat komen cam harap macam nak meng excuse kan why they are still not covered. Ko dok dendiam boleh tak? Tak nak pakai cakap tammo pakai (lagi)...

So Kak Hassanah lied. Or was she confused? No, she made up a story. Real occurence but dia bagi tambah perisa sikit demi nak up kan diri dia. You think only Kak Hassanah doing that? Have you ever wonder if Kambing occurence is really a 'real' account? Ohh just wondering saja...kalau takda tokok tambah untuk menampak dia sangat dramatic atau committed dalam mendedikasikan hidupnya kat orang, maka elok lah. 

I made up stories too...and I hope cerita-cerita I dibaca dengan akal yang dan hati yang lapang. Macam cerita Titanic, si Pakwe menyelamatkan Makwe lalu volunteer untuk mati. Scene betul, kejadian betul tapi cerita lah nak bagi best sikit...so kasik mekap lah kan.

But of course we take things seriously. We cannot be lied to...it's okay kalau cerita dema bertukar 700 ratus kali dari derma ke tak tahu ke anak Raja Arab yang kasi or tah sesapa baik ati bagi...lied to through and through but we tak naik hangin pun. Kan? 

Kak Hassanah ni kann...meh belajar menulis cerita benar tapi diolah semula untuk kesesuaian tayangan. But bila I baca, she did. Tak nak nampak obvious, dia katalah family tu family orang puteh. 

So kesimpulannya, uols yang dok panggil dia penipu, yang sebetulnya Kak Hassanah ni bongok dalam menipu. So what do we hope to achieve from reading her stories? If you ask me, kalau uols ni bukan loyar pencari maklumat mahupun polis untuk mencari bukti yang dia tu penipu, elok ja lah uols fokus kepada benda-benda yang dia nak sampai kan..yakni, kalau ada anak, mak bapak or sesapa yang nervous naik flight, ni lah preparation nya...bersedialah belajar teknik menundukkan rasa nervous dengan menyentuh ubun-ubun si pengamuk. Siap ada ajar doa dan ayat2 doa...

Uols, diantara kita, ada sesiapakah yang se terrer Kak Hassanah dalam membaca ayat-ayat penenang ni? kalau ada pun, boleh ke ingat semua kalau dah panic cenggitu?

Like I said, Kak Hassanah is neither expert nor pathological liar. She writes. She is good at it. Bila dah kena kepung dengan uols, dah kena hentam...maka dia pun menulis lagi kisah yang agak bodoh jua. She honestly think that could answer everything and get that all sticky gums on her fingers. 

Kak Hassanah apologised (but not really) and claimed that she made that up as a publicity stunt to gain attention for her justified beef with Aiman Banana ke hapa namanya. 

Laaaa....kak ehhh. Lenkali kak call saya lahh...

And of course by now uols read the communication between her and Aiman Banana penuh dengan pseudo-religious phrases (wahh caiyokk) 

Terus Kak Hassanah kena cop double psycho. Haihh la. Cepat betul uols nak diagnose orang kan? Uols pernah ka jumpa real psychopath? Tak berapa cerdik dan psychopath beza besar tau uols. 

My question is..why was this such a big deal? People would do anything to get attention kan? And of course it has nothing to do with what they're wearing. If you ask me, pemakaian extreme padang pasior ni bagi yang salah nawaitu nya ialah untuk mencover penipuan yang lebih besar. Alaaa macam kakak kita yang sorang tu...dalam pada dia bertutup litup dia masuk sukan panah berkuda laa...dia menjalani hidup maha happening laaa..Kiah buat sambal hitam Pahang, dia uplift gambo tu kata  dia yang masak.

And of course again we take it seriously demi nak mengexpose 'fenifuan' dia, kita bukak pulak account untuk show her up. You...takda reja dah ke? Tak ke obvious dari mula yang cerita nya tu hanya rekaan untuk menjamu nafsu pembacaan you? 

Macam I lah uols, suka benar follow IG Ajuan Ali. Abang Ajuan dok maki hamun caruts segala melayu hanjeng, siap upload mana dia makan tanpa melayu hanjeng, pi sopping kat Giant susun barang kat till pun dia kata tengok styel Diva AA yang bukan like some melayu hanjeng....hishh uols, banyak betul hanjeng dapat pahala dek dia. Dia tayang duit jual rendang dia yang tetap gak banyak tu dengan tanyan yang lemah gemalai...dia dok kata muka dia sesuci Nur tanpa mekap tanpa cucuk tapi pastu dia kantoi upload gambo dia powder muka dia...

Tu bodoh ke gila uols? 

Tapi kita kan manusia yang memerlukan hiburan. Uols anggap jalah mereka ni semua object object untuk kita ketawa.

Kak Hassanah dah mintak mahap...so dia tak takda dosa dengan uols. So uols yang kata dia macam-macam, mampukah nak mintak mahap?

Akhir kata..sayor kobis campur racik halus halus memang sedap uolss.

Let's Judge A Book...

You all tahu kan...the trend now is to advertise your good deeds. I am in two mind about this sebab ada orang yang berbuat baik dan sebab dia cerita perbuatan nya maka I pun menumpanglah, as in I chip in where I could to support him..walaupun muka dia set set kominih bintang. 

But I am sure, ramai yang tanpa pesbuk tanpa tah hapa-hapa medium tayangan sosial, buat baik tolong orang tolong binatang tanpa loudspeaker. 

But again, manusia lately ni semakin sewel. Benda kecik sampai sanggup bawak cctv footage pi confront jiran pasal kucing orang tu slipped into your greens. Anjing terkuchil kat pokok majlis perbandaran depan umah dia dia boleh kutuk kau-kau masuk pesbuk. Hek lehh, ala-ala dunia ni ko punya sorang la kan...so you need reminder to restore your faith in humanity. 

I want to talk about one particular do gooder. To his groupies, he is an angels that turns every corners into bright lights. Sebab dia ni banyak lah buat activity benda yang elok-elok. However after following him and after ada first hand experience, he is as annoying as anak Menteri yang bela beehive dalam tudung and baru kematian laki setelah mengutuk ex colleague Mak Piah tua. Maafkan saya...saya bersimpati you baru mati laki. Gigih you update IG you dalam kesedihan you ya amat tu. 

But this guy, yes I want to talk about him. To general public, he fancy himself as kambing. Quite apt lah if you ask me sebab, dia busyuk. Hik hik hik. Tak baik I ngata dia..dia sibuk berbuat kebajiakn nak mandi pun tak sempat, apatah lagi nak refresh aftershave. 

I for one takkan ada nya energy untuk membuat reja-reja dia. I hold my hands up. I admire his courage. What bugs me is that he has got too personal into it macam dia sajalah yang berfikir kearah menyelamatkan donia when other care less. In his own words, it is frustrating when people resist doing the right thing because they want to look important.

But people say, kebijaksanaan come naturally with maturity. Little boys and girls are competitive. Let's define what can be seens as competitive here. Competition nak buat baik..sampai terkeluar lah statement I wish I am dead so that I don't have to witness the destructions anymore. Laaaa hai. Cuba la ko kerja kat spital bila macam-macam kes masuk. Can you wish you be dead? Boleh dak kita insaf sikit yang tangan kita ada dua dan kederat kita hanya sebanyak apa yang kita ada...

To him also, the world moved on while we stood still, while waiting for one to play catch up. His analogy about world current condition adalah memualkan if you ask me.Since when dunia ni perfect? Can't you just be thankful because you're there, exist to turn the world around? 

Why does the world need to know how you wept about your failure to help? I have never realise that your crown is bigger than an average Diva. 

Kawan I, Monica Lewinsky bukan nama sebenar tapi perangai sebenar adalah lebih kurang, organise something at her workplace and nak lah memotivasi kan anak-anak buah nya supaya hidup ni kena ada tujuan dan hidup ini bukan hak exclusive. So Monica pi la approach si Kambing ni. The chronology from the first text message of approach sampai cenderahati bertukar tangan...can be sum up to this.

There is courtesy when asking for help. The minimum is to make it as easy as possible for the person helping you. To minimise their inconvenience. And to be polite when communicating with them as you inconvenience them. I think you failed on all counts. I am this close to just calling you a piece of *bleep*. Demanding macam haram. Pastu tak explain apa kau nak. You think people is a mind reader. A mind reader with nothing else better to do than to try and guess what will tick your boxes.

Here's the right criteria kalau nak jadi social worker. Vulnerable people either come to you or you have to find them. Not many will let off their guard and ask for help. Your work is to help them, in whatever way fits.

Some help that you offered may not appeal to them. I tell you bila orang dah jatuh terduduk ni, semangat pun ambik masa nak naik. Kerja kita bukannya nak jadi pandai telling them how to run their life. There's time and place nak jadik life coach ni. If theres a risk of death by hunger, you feed them. You can teach them how to fish later (that if they fancy it)

You cannot fixed people. If you help them, let it be about them...not you. Tak payah nak emo. If you think you are underappreciated, walk away. You have give enough. 

You must not turn people into you, or think like you do. 

Because if you have start to moan on how cruel, difficult the job is...mind you, job that you choose to do voluntarily then maybe there's something else that you're after.

You are not in for the glory. Perhaps you just enjoy listening to the big clap, mention and songs of praise non-stop.

Ke memang tu yang you nak?