Cerita Saya Sendiri

Post ni takde kena mengena dengan sesiapa...tetapi, adalah juga bahan gossip yang I dengar telah menyumbang kepada penulisan ini.

I always wonder why and what lead to other people having an affair outside their steady relationship. Tak chenta kah dia dengan current partner nya? Having said that...perasaan manusia ni cepat berubah..and we are very much capable to love again even after mencurah janji-janji Kelly Ng kat current partner kita tu. I think deep down we know this tapi adalah amat payah nak admit...yelah, sebab macam buruk sangat lah kelakuan bila kita terjatuh chenta untuk kesekian kalinya.

Marriage and relationship need to be nurtured jugak....cemana baiknya kita (if kita rasa kita baik laa) ada jugak benda yang tak cukup. Love is often unexplainable. Kita jatuh chenta dengan someone who made us feel so special about ourselves, walaupun masa tu kita dah ada steady boipren yang berperilaku hangat-hangat tahik ayam..(ish, cam familiar aje cerita ni) kita rasa guilty sebab dalam pada kita ber boipren chenta agung tu, kita telah ada scandal dengan yang sorang ni. Tapi, kalaulah si aruah boipren tu dulu tak mengamalkan konsep panas dingin maka tak kan adanya kita rasa smitten dengan attention yang dibagi percuma oleh orang lain, kann?

Apakah yang kita ni nak sebenarnya? Kita sendiri tahu kita tak boleh nak dapat semua. Kita komplen bila orang tu sibuk manjang dalam kita tahu dia tu sibuk buat kerjanya bukannya buat benda lain. Kita nak duduk dekat-dekat..tapi kita tahu sebab kerja dah jauh-jauh, kita kena realistic. Kalau dah orang tu bangsa Ikan Salmon beku, duduk dekat pun boleh buat menyakit hati juga. Bila kita komplen kat dia...mulalah kita cakap..ye lah..you tak sayang I..(script yang sudah basi tapi masih suka digunakan untuk membuat orang tu sakit hati) and bila orang tu start men jiwang, kita pulak sedih, sebab dia takde depan mata. So orang tu jawab balik, habis tu selama ni kenapa you ingat I tak nak cakap camni hari-hari? Kita jugak yang sedih kann? Betul jugak katanya...

We thought distance might helps. In a way, it does. But there's also someone around the corner who is able to provide everything we wants...

What can we do? We can't be everything in their wish list of a lover....we can hope orang tu sayang kita sepenuh hatinya...but orang tu ada keperluannya juga yang tak ada kat kita. Perlukah kita marah?

In reality, berapa ramai yang nak boleh accept partner mereka juga syiok kat orang lain...tapi at the same time sayang kat kita because kononnya quality yang ada kat kita ada yang takde kat orang lain tu? Can we openly accept yang partner kita dah terjatuh cinta kat orang lain? If we found out, what can we do, kill them?

Well, if its were me...I'm sad. Really sad. But I really can't do much...if there's a love between us, then I suppose we should stay and let the other person explore and pursue their 'other' happiness. But if we can't take it...we leave.

Sekian.

And When We Think We Are Good....

Wehhheiiiii....Kiah dah paksa update neh? You think I got nothing better to do kah?

Okay, I think now there's need to put up a disclaimer notice...yang blog ini bukan lah blog berunsur ilmiah..so, harap janganlah digunakan untuk pedoman ataupun bahan untuk thesis, viva apa segala educational purposes.If you are so bijak bistari that you claim you were and very much will lose sleep over others grammatical error or by any means pronounciation not up to your liking, pergilah baca blog lecturer TESL.

But, if you think that there is more to life than ceritaku cerita mu, whether the world is so interested to know about your person specification type of future partner or the different between how American, Australian or England way of enunciating the word potatoes...then, please read on and be my friend.

And where do I start? So, Cik..you were asking about whether you should or you should not warn your ex current partner of his tendency to menggunakan mereka sebagai mesin ATM segera. Why would you want to do that? Terpikirkan kita..kalaulah kita ini dikapur, ialah kerna kita sendiri rela dikapur oleh boipren kita yang muka tampal kulit babi ittew.Manalah tahu, besok-besok ex kita yang terkenal dengan reputation kaki cucuk duit itu akan dapat Hajah Bakhil sebagai gilpren...maka, wafer thin ice chance lah kan pompuan tu akan jadi mangsa kapur? Ish..tak payah lah you susah-susah..unless, if you takleh tido malam mengenangkan keselamatan purse wanita lain sejagat..then, ikutlah kata hati you. Hehehe...

And another....hal ini lah yang paling sensitip sekali. But I think I should write it as a post as ianya berlinkar-lingkar dalam kepala pala hotak ku semenjak dua menjak ini. Like a doctor, I am very much expose to penyakit teruk-teruk...I'm not referring to any scientific or medical evidence, but believe me, orang-orang yang direfer atau yang datang sendiri ke pejabat Sosial Services, mempunyai masalah yang kenkadang tu tak terjangkau dipikiran kita ni.

Kadang2 (amboiii..kadang2 aje ke?) I sungguhlah insaf dan bersyukur yang I takde lah ditimpa masalah berat macam orang yang datang mintak bantuan itu. But in a way, it alights me that kalau itu boleh jadi kat orang lain, benda tu pun boleh jadi kat kita juga.

It is not easy to be in a position yang sungguh lain dari orang lain. While I believe inner strength and penyelesaian masalah hanya akan datang dari kita sendiri dah Tuhan, kita juga memerlukan orang sekeliling kita untuk memberi sokongan moral..walaupun benda yang kita buat tu takde moral. It is important to be a friend. We sometimes gain from others pain..in a way. We tend to reflect, what is important and what is not.

I am very pleased to see..ramainya kengkawan I yang dah jadi alim ulamak...didalam FB..compared to zaman jahiliyyah memasing yang bed hopping lah..bar hopping lah..apa saja benda yang pada mereka is their part of growing up yang tak terbuat dek I yang sungguhlah pemalu tahik kucen lagi hidup dizaman batu berbapa kan Presiden Mugabe ini. While some of my friends ni is racing in the pursuit of kehidupan yang lebih baik didalam dunia dan dialam selepas tiada, I think diorang tu terlupa yang macam mereka dulu, orang lain pun agak lambat nak dapat cahaya and tak ada orang nak nak mengikut or cepat pandai dengan cikgu-cikgu yang garang lagi judgemental.

This guy in FB..yang juga kawan I...yang dok bagi syarahan berbau persecutory...yang satu ketika dulunya, berkongkek dgn ex gilprennnya, yang juga kawan I sampai pompuan tu termengandung dan membuat termination. This guy blah cenggitu aje. Sial tul mamat tu. But nowadays, dia jadi alim ulamak...dalam FB aje..cara hidup dia tak pulak I nampak dia bertukar menjadi set-set orang Pulau Melaka. So I dengan sakit hatinya, pi lah cakap kat ex gilpren nya ni..eh si Cibai tu, pernah tak mintak mahap dengan you. Yilekk uols. Ex gilpren nya tanya I..kenapa you tanya? I cakaplah..yang I actually berkawan dgn ex nya..so I macam menyampah tgk dia bersyarah macam dia sajalah yang betul orang lain salah dalam FB wall and status nya. Kalaulah betul dia dah bertaubat, patutnya dia mintak mahaplah kan dengan orang-orang yang pernah disakiti nya..orang-orang yang pernah dikapur nya...? Tidak.

Azmil Mustapha once gave interview..about his reformed way of life. He quoted 'orang kafir lah yang perlu kita musuhi'. Terdiam terduduk I baca interview itu. Allah menggalakkan kita membenci sesama manusia ke? Bukankah tiada paksaan dalam agama? The next I know..he was in ICU...fighting for his life. Thank god he survived.

This is what I think....kita ada akal dan kepercayaan kita sendiri. Kita mungkin salah dalam perlakuan kita sehari-hari. Kalau kita ada kesedaran, kita akan minta bantuan, minta ditunjukkan jalan.Tetapi kita juga tak lepas dari membuat salah dan menjadi bodoh. Tidak ada perlunya manyakiti orang lain...hatta dengan kata-kata kita sekalipun. We have to agree to disagree that kita adalah orang yang berlainan.

So, sebab itulah saya tak ada simpati pada orang Palestine. Saya lebih bersimpati kepada orang-orang cacat yang jadik mangsa keadaan. Kenapalah puak Mujahidin tu tak pernah menang dalam perjuangan diorang kat celah-celah batu tu? Have you seen how they treated their women? Do you know how many boys they sodomised?

Yes, Islam dan Allah itu benar..tetapi, jagalah akhlak kita dulu sebelum kita nak mengomplen dan menjatuhkan hukum ke atas orang lain.

Dengan ini, saya memohon maaf atas kata-kata kutuk saya terhadap mangsa-mangsa kutukan saya dalam ini blog. Semoga Allah akan memberikan saya cahaya kebenaran..dan berhenti mengutuk. Amin.

All We Need Is.....Cake

When someone says they don't do birthday celebration hatta sekecik cupcake ditaruk lilin dan nyanyi 'Happy Birthday', please do not take that words at it face value.

Although we are not the sort of person who like being in the centre...unless sandwiched between Brad & Angie, we do..genuinely hope that there should at least a little fuss made for us on the day that doesn't come very often in a lifetime.

Because MC dah tahu how much my birthday this time means to me...maka dia pun membuat effort diluar tabii nya, yakni mengantar birthday card via postlaju yang until today, I can tell you bahawa it is not laju enough to arrive on my special day. Still no hint of a present apart from dirinya sendiri, I was actually quite please that I got a birthday mention from my love one...few times in one day.

If you come across some hard face person who warned you of no fuss to be made on their birthday, don't go giving in to what they want. Give them what they need. They need a little if not moderately huge birthday cheer, card and maybe small present to show them that there is actually someone who cares enough to go for all that bother to make a little fuss, that believe me, will eternally cheer them up.

Never, never and you must never not buy a cake. If its not the specially ordered one with name and small info you actually don't want people to know...please just go to the nearest M&S Food and get the birthday boy/girl a cake. Please...the only ever meaningful association with a human's birthday is a cake..however poxy small time sized cake.

We need cake.

Life is short...so, make an effort. Please.

p/s cake came 28 hours later.....tu pun lepas tunjuk perasaan.

Saturday Notes

Looking back, undoubtedly, my blogging productivity have dropped quite significantly last year. I know Kiah would blame my undivided distraction now that I am in a relationship...yang tak serupa relationship pun, if you ask.

I have been quite depressed since before Xmas but I'm trying very hard not to let this affect me. Still trying though...and it is not easy.

So, I just want to write about things that I see and hear. Ada jugak yang akan terkena kepada mereka yang terasa, but biarlah.

Two of you wrote to me into my comment box (dan mintak dirahsiakan identity...amboi...mengadu pandai ye?) that you have suspect and feel that some blogger out there has quite blatantly copying my 'style' of writing. Ye ke? I don't realised I have a style. But lepas tu ada pulak I dengar, orang yang kunun nya meniru 'style' I tu kata yang dia dah ber blogging semenjak zaman Gajah Abrahah...so, inadvertantly suggesting kira I lah yang 'tiru' style dia. Macam ni lah....I don't know what actually is expected of me here. You all nak I pi terjah dia ke? I jarang baca blog dia...and no disrespect to that writer, his/her publication is not something that I will kill to read. Kalau dia nak tiru I and pass it of as his/her style of writing, biarlah dia. This is a free zone...people can write about anything. People can even write about your thoughts. If he or she choose to adopt my silly style then let them be. This is so not a big deal. My rationale senang aje, kalau you meniru, you menipu diri you sendiri.So, hiduplah you dengan conscience you. Tapi kalau dia kata I tiru dia..I nak jugak cakap..eleh, bagus ke kau...baik I curik idea Kiah. Lagi happening.

Move to the next one...eh, tak habis-habis lagi ke cerita Ebi, Memek dengan Pak Polisi ittew? Is this what we call an open and modern way to communicate? Now that we see Ebi is the one with a short fuse, might you want to blame her ex Pak Polisi to look for another 'cooler' alternative? But there's no smoke without fire kann...kalau lagi dia tak berperangai bagitu, Ebi tu pun mungking tidak akan menjadi bagitu jua. Kalaulah bekas suaminya dulu boleh membimbing dia menjadi wanita yang sabar dan berpikir dulu sebelum membukak mulut dia yang serupa naga itu. And the other woman, kalaulah you dah sambar laki orang, perlukah you nak naik sama mempertahankan 'maruah' you? When are they going to learn, that one should only speak when they have to. Ebi is obviously still feeling bitter although dah dok kompang...ahh, lantaklah mereka. And of course to Malaysian journalist, this is scoop worth money.

And of course sebagai follower gossip yang tegar, I take interest in that model ex husband court case against her new boipren. The ex hubs is suing the boipren for mengorating the bini and now he has enough evidence to show that the child they bore during their marriage wasn't his. Well, he is a businessman kan? Milk it for what its worth lah. Pride has now gone out of the window. Macamlah si pengorat tu taruk pisau kat leher ex bini dia. Isn't that enough indication, your wife didn't fancy the pant of you anymore? Pergi lah sue bini you...mintak balik duit belanja kahwin or whatever money you have invested in your marriage believing that she loves you. At least you have more reason to claim your dignity worth money compare to that Badminton man.

And I have no idea about the actress Kiah was talking about? Siapalah???

I would like to ask a favour here. You see my chat box? There's one kakak seems to like getting her knickers twisted by worrying about men. While I think she is simply being silly, and she might not...please help her. She want to know if men if different by race. Well, if you ask me..apart from the colour of their gun..they are all the same. Ramai betul orang lemah fikiran sekarang kan? Too bad, we haven't make enough money from my online shopping page yet for me to help this 'troubled' soul.

Sekian.

Happy New Year 2011

Seperti biasa orang yang boring dan tak berwawasan cam I, duduk rumah aje dimalam tahun baru. Dan memakan cekelat pemberian orang dimasa Xmas hari tu...uish, makin debab lah lepas ni.

I don't remember making resolutions and sticking to it. To me, kalau I nak buat apa-apa yang baik, takpayah lah nak tunggu tahun baru. If I ever made one or two on the NY's eve, maybe pasal orang keliling I ber resolusi dan seperti biasa, I yang mak turut ni ngikut je apa yang orang buat.

I always want to be good person. I have this imagination of a perfect demeanour. Bila I tengok perangai orang ni macam ni, I pun berazam, eh, I takmau lah jadik camtu. When I was in boarding school, I used to get into deep trouble for taking sides. Problem was, I took 2 sides instead of one. I want to be everybody's friend. When you live in such a confined spaces, you bound to get on each others nerves. The one that got their 'nerves' tangled are often my closest mates. Of course bila sorang ni tak puas hati dengan sorang ni, they will then form a group, so there is 2 groups of kengkawan yang tak puas hati sesama sendiri. I know my intention was good but to them I was a batu api. Apa yang berapi pun tak tau. Bila orang ni cakap orang tu XYZ, I pun cakap..a'ah. Sokong punya pasal. Bila orang yang itu pulak cakap orang ni ABC, I pun cakap..a'ah jugak. Worst bit, they asked me what have I heard from that person vice versa. Dengan lurus bendul nya..I pun cakap lah..oh dia kata you XYZ and dia kata you ABC. In the end, yang bergaduh dah berbaik dan sengaja pulak tu melupakan benda yang mereka cakap to one another and menuduh I ni yang bawak mulut. Pundeksss sangat kan? So, lesson learnt was the obvious. Jangan masuk campur, unless I really feel strongly about it.

Tahun 2010, I adalah jugak terperangkap dalam crossfire but of course I have matured 20 over years from my schooling days. Orang kata semakin lama kita hidup, semakin banyaklah pengalaman dan semakin luaslah pemikiran. Entahlah...yang bergaduh dan beperangai kurang cerdik yang I have come across ni bukanlah budak hingusan pun. Tapi kesudahannya pergaduhan tetap sama...salah sendiri tak mau mengaku dan gunakan orang lain sebagai scapegoat. Bila kita tegur, terus keluar statement...oh, kalau you tak suka, you boleh blah. Ohh...asal you bahagia lah.

Okaylah...I takde azam. Ada jugak plan nak buat azam, tapi belum sempat sampai midnight dah terburai. So I will just stick to observing people's demeanours and try not to be like them. Antara perangai orang yang I tak berapa berkenan dan berharapan I pun tak jadik macam ni ialah...

1. Bercakap pasal diri sendiri or in Sally's term -Ceritaku Ceritamu. Macam life dia sajalah yang interesting nya...dalam pada dia nak relate to problem orang, kesudahnya jadi 'All About Me' jugaks. May I say, lately ni dah sampai ke tahap menyampah bukan kepalang. I remember to just being able to laugh it off...but now, I may die choking my own vomit.

2. 'Over' trying so hard to be someone you are not. If I can sum up the words, it would be, you make the clothes not the clothes makes you. You can show off your entire designer's wardrobe, you can show off your expensives gifts or purchase...but if it is not 'you', it will not be 'you'. Proud to achieve is one thing, but proud to be loud is certainly another...

3. Holier Than Thou. You can tell when someone being so ikhlas and kamil. But spare me those preaches from a reformed Mat Joget yang just because dia rasa dia dah nampak cahaya kebenaran, teruslah anti duniawi. I am so pleased if you dah dapat your 'Nur'...tapi dah serupa PAS bagi ceramah dalam mesjid mengata UMNO (let's highlight 'mengata' and 'dalam mesjid' ye) apakah namanya Nur itu? Lupakah you macam mana Rasullullah berdakwah dengan Abu Lahab? Piiiirah mabuk.

4. Over conscious. The type of people who wrapped themselves in a cotton wool ni. Haiyoo....tu salah, ini pun salah. Kita buat salah lah dulu kan baru kita belajar?

5. Over-emotional. haiyooohhhh....sudah-sudah lah nak buat drama out of cerita kartun kan?

****sources from Facebook.