About Me

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Update Sekejap

So I received your comment..asking how to get in touch.

For the question if that Al Rajhi bank account still active...jawapan nya, iya. Kalau nak menderma, silakan lah ye :) Terima kasih :)

To get in touch with me, personally...though via admin, pergilah ke website Help & Hope tu...I am sure you will find a way to email. Terima kasih :)

Okay...bab you nak donate your prized possession to us. Silakan lah. I thought I should say this that perhaps however way you may wish to generate cash if entirely up to you. Nak ajak kengkawan donate ke, orang kampung donate ke..nak curik duit laki buat donation ke (ye lah..daripada dia pi tabur kat mana2 kann?)  I really do not want to sound ungrateful but I am also preparing myself to yet another janji pilihanraya.

I have had so many people janji..janji dan janji. If making promises is one way of feeling good, lifting up people hope only for a short second exhilarate you, then I will not blame one for doling so. I am all for good mental health. As much as I want to look after mine, I do hope everyone look after theirs too :) I will not stop you from doing what you want, in fact if your intention is for a good cause, semoga dan hanya Allah yang dapat membalas  budi baik you.

But I have ceased getting excited. Come what may. Tu konsep nya sekarang. I have a greater responsibility for those who have donated...and that is, to make sure things happened.

I really appreciate all the good intention.

Much love,
Me & Loyar Sabung Ayam


Sunday, November 18, 2012

About Takdir

It is my biggest bugbear bila orang...to me lah...menyalahgunakan konsep takdir ni. Ishh...this is other than the overstatement of Insya Allah.

Today...I saw comments by somebody I don't know likened me to a kaffir and feels that my faith and aqidah is diluted badly because of my location of abode. Well, this is another story for another day lah ye. Tak kuasa I nak memikir banyak problem dalam satu hari.

Speaking of takdir. Here is my story.

A friend of mine lost her life recently, almost immediately following a road accident. Shock. Shock. Shock for me. Me and her, not close. But we talk. She is the school librarian and she is known to be strict but somehow not to me. Because apparently, menurut sumber fitnah pada masa itu, we came from the same kampung. Hek elehhh..budak MRSM tak habis-habis dengan institutionalised racism nya.

Over the years...I come to know that she is working as a cikgu. I have known her to be super active in school so I was expecting that she should be...somehow...more than a cikgu, not that I think cikgu is not a grand profession, but teaching requires extra ordinary skills.Not that she has none..but..isk, susahlah nak explain.

But yes, she is a cikgu. She went to ITM to study something and later on re trained as a cikgu at some local Uni. So yes, she become a cikgu. We befriended again through FB and she was amazed by my transformation ---from a student paling diam, tak happening, I guess she is too polite to say that I ni takdelah berapa stand out sangat academically dulu..and to her me 20 odd years ago is a huge difference to me now.

My answer...as similar to same questions from schoolmates, is that...my rezeki. Lain-lain. I complimented her life, to me is an accomplishment too...happily married for over 20 years and with grown up kids. Kalau nak dicompare dgn I yang sokmo salah bearing. She said it was her takdir...resigning her future to submit to her parents wish...to marry a son of a family friend and her life just took off accordingly from there. 18 years old and kena kahwin. Dream of pursuing studies had to be put on hold or maybe never at that time. But she told me, it is what her parents wanted and it was...her takdir. I told her that I heard about her wedding when I was in PPP and did not think it was a real news sebab I told her candidly that I never thought of her of the cepat kahwin one...scandal pun tak ada masa sekolah tup tup kahwin. Again...is her takdir, she said.

Somehow her submission to her parents wish is rewarding. Idoklah dia dapat King of Swaziland or laki yang berfeeling2 majikan dgn bini sendiri. She somehow managed to go back to study and got her own career as a cikgu. She said she is happy and blessed. But she did say...that she hope anak2 dia belajar and kerja dulu baru pikir nak kahwin. She didn't want them to be like her. Macam bunyi resentment aje dengarnya...but I am sure she has her point.

Accident happened. She died instantly. Her family survived. We were all shocked. Condolences was pouring in. She was a very likeable person. I did my bit sending her Al Fatihah. Friends was talking about her young children losing a mother.

One friend said....dah takdir.

Wahhh.........tetiba, darah I menyirap. Minggu kematian my fren tu memang minggu kenaikan darah keparas tertinggi. In between kerja I yang kadang2 stress nya macam setan, benda yang I nak buat macam banyakla pulak halangan nya...and I pulak tengah gigih menjadi counsellor kawan I yang di emotionally abused dek laki nya, with takdir word digunakan untuk menutup kekurangan dia...so flag another takdir....sikawan I yang ini...dah memang takdir dia nak mati accident.

But pray tell me....kalau dah jalan kita patut bawak 40mph, dah diwarning jalan tu kawasan kemalangan tapi kita masih jugak nak rempit 110mph...ditambah dgn hujan, bila terbabas, takdir ke tu?

While I can accept takdir my fren ni dah tertulis ajalnya nak mati accident, bukan ke kalau sipembawak kereta tu menggunakan otak nya, dah tahu jalan tu jalan kampung tapi nak jugak bawak macam Ayrton Senna, accident can be avoided? I hope that the driver will now see that as a direct message from Allah, sebab anak bini dah komplen suka benar bawak kereta laju-laju, selfish tahap tangkuban perahu...kalau nak berlumba, pergilah circuit mana-mana, ye tak? Bukannya dalam kampung, selekoh tajam dan hari hujan.

I read in Harian Metro about org tua kena parang dek anaknya yg sakit jiwa. Relatives are quoting takdir. Kau dah tahu budak tu sakit, apasal tak buat apa2.

Can we, on a same account...bila baca cerita Mat Rempit mati terbabas....say that's the Mat Rempit's takdir?

Kebodohan manusia berotak yang masih baik fungsi nya...takdir Allah lah ye?



Sent from my iPad

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Mixers

Menurut orang2 di hopis saya...mixers ialah nama lain bagi maruku yang saya rajin kunyah tapi dah berenti sebab ianya menyumbang kepada penambahan lapisan badan.

Mixers can also mean...a blender. Orang putih ni banyak betul bahasa nya...yang berbunyi sama tapi bermakna lain-lain. Macam..kalau depa cakap fakkkkyuuu, bukanlah diorang tu nak f*** you ataupun berdoa mintak you kena f***, tengok tone suara jugaklah kan...kalau disertai petir dan hujan percik percikkan, makna nya marah lah tu. Kalau cakap fakkkyu dalam gelak ketawa, maknya marah lah jugak but versi gelak2 suruh you blah.

I think it is more confusing in English. Agaknya pasal tu lah orang selalu kata, orang putih kalau berkomunikasi, akan berkomunikasi terang2...takde simpan2 dalam hati dan takde pun nak mengguna teknik telepathy. Juga tiada menggunakan ayat2 mudah seperti...yelah, ikut lah..hmmm..hmmm...moving forward..etc etc..dan expect sipendengarnya memahami isi hatinya (yang busuk) itu. Hiks...yes..sindir tetap sindir ye... matik la tajuk dgn posting tande kena mengena.

I have many girlfriends who tells me about their marriage woes. Dalam ramai2 orang, aku gak yang ditanya dicerita hal dalam kain dengan laki nya. Men tells me stuff too...but I find them men very decisive than women. Ye lah...jantan kan malas pikir. Malas fikir tu satu, but in terms of practicality, men deal with one problem at a time. Kita pompuan ni aje yang suka menyambil. Generally lah ye. Tak setuju..tak apa.

I read about this nenek in Kelantan ke Trengganu ke yang kawin cerai banyak kali. Kalahhh Lizebet Tukang Jahit tu. Ada yang cerai mati ada yang cerai hidup. Then I know of friends yang kawin cerai beberapa kali...err, lebih dari dua kali. And course bebaru ni, keluarlah cerita pasal anak tukang masak tersohor tu kannn. Memula bapaknya buat statement bongkak congkak, ehh apasal you all tanya I, pi la tanya orang tu (anak menantu dia). Dan besok lusanya keluar lagi statement dari Pakji Tuakng Masak tu...ohh mereka dah bercerai tapi saya sayang kat ex menantu saya tu macam saya sayang boipren saya oopss hai tersasul...anak saya sendiri. Pulak dahh? Then I pi la baca blog gossip retis yang of course la segala details pun keluar termasuk la si ex menantu tu ghopanya pernah jadi menantu orang lain juga....sebanyak dua kali. Ohh kisahnya.

But yes, kalau jodoh tak ada, tak kan nak menahan hati ye tak? Nak dibunuh kang, kita pulak masuk penjara. Kalau dia tu ada sakit jantung kronik, boleh gak kita standby ular plestik buat surprise (terus kau mampos) party kann? Cannot tahan, good bye lah kan?

Alasan orang bercerai ni...banyak. Some kena cerai sebab..laki or bini dah tak nak. Jumpa orang lain hati sudah berubah maka nyah lah kau. Some people just realised that banyak benda yang kurang rasa with the current or previous one, bila dia jumpa the new one. Pernah lah sorang security guard tempat I kerja kat KL dulu...bercenta dengan budak UM dan si guard ni, lagak macam orang bujang keluar dating hari2 dgn aweknya. I am not sure if he tell the girl that he is married but bila ditegur oleh kengkawan nya, dia kata lah..ohh dengan si gilpren ni, dia sedang merasa apakah maknanya centa (cepatlah cekik diri sendiri) dan dengan bininya...ialah pilihan keluarga. Ni dia orang jantan. Macam2 lah kurangnya sang bini...dan si gilpren tetiba pulak memenuhi kriteria. Pundek lah sangat. Tapi yang I tengok..dalam kononnya dia tak bahagia bersama bininya, sibininya tu mengandung jua.

Some will say...ni alasan budak2 zaman sekarang ye...that we realised that we want different things. Kau nak ketea Ferrari and I want motor kapcai, ke gitu? I thought that when we committed to someone, we already know what we want, kan? Ke tengah2 jalan, ko tetiba dapat hobi baru? But yes, that reason sort of make sense. Sometimes, your life circumstances changes. Kita nak buat benda ni..partner kita pulak tak suka and that really get in the way of you both dan mulalahhhh start gaduh-gaduh. Benda kecik, benda kena sapu bawah carpet semua boleh keluar.

Some of us committed at the time we felt ready to commit. Everything seems falling into places at that time. I was in that situation before. Past relationships didnt work and I was desperately wanted to move on. Yes, at that time our situation can make us think that we are ready.

Truth is, we will never be ready. I pernah dengar kawan I cakap..ni masa dia nak kahwin yang she hope to nurture her love with this guy after diorang kahwin.Kawan tak lama. Kahwin..lagilah tak lama.

Ada pulak yang cakap dengan I..dia kawin dgn lakinya sebab...dialah masa tu jantan yang perfect dimata dan dipoket. I need to be saved...katanya.

Well, did you get married to be saved? Saved from what lah? Macam-macam lah alasan nak menyedapkan jiwa kan, masa tu?

Oh what about yang baru lepas keluar dari mulut buaya...tetiba macam tak serik2 pulak nak masuk mulut rimau? Bercerai kali pertama tersangatlah serik nya..pastu, tup tup..belum setahun dah nak menikah baru?

But ni semua bergantung kepada ketahanan mental kita sendiri lah kan? Kalau kita ni set2 takleh hidup tanpa pasangan dan terasa nak meroyan sentiasa bila dok sensorang, maka se eloknya...carilah pasangan baru. Lantak lah apa orang nak kata, kan?

Being with someone else can make us lose sight of our own self. So, masa free macam ni lah you nak regain balik your true identity before you got contaminated dengan partner you. Like sebelum kahwin you are this happy go lucky person, pastu dapat pulak jodoh dengan ikan tongkol, kita pun benjangkit perangai tongkol orang tu last-last si empunya perangai tongkol tu pulak yang pi tuduh you berperangai. Macam lahanetssssss lah sangat.

It is good to take control once in a while. Ye lah..kalau buat baik aje sokmo dan menjadi alas kaki, kita lupa apa strength kita sebenar nya.

The once upon a time good thing will somehow eventually become rubbish if it is not utilised. And, it is our habit to keep rubbish with us. Some rubbish are useful...but the bad one that you really need to get rid of. If you are not careful the bad rubbish may turn you into a rubbish too, and you ended up become the bad one.



Sent from my iPad

Monday, November 12, 2012

Kisah Laki, Bini Dan Hati Busuk

Tudiahhhhh tajuk.

Nota dahi...walaupun ku penat berkeroje, kugagah kan jua menaip hapdate. Ye lah..tak cukup dengan kau menghantui diriku dalam FB, dalam whasapp tu kau menjadi hantu jua...meminta-minta darahku.

Posting ni akan merapik-rapik but percayalah ending nya akan mempunyai moral yang sama...err, kalau tak sama pun lebih kurang lah.

Siapa ingat kisah Silamajit dan ex lakinya Selanajis? Ohhh...saya ingat. Dari mereka kahwin sampailah mereka bercerai dan berberai. Menengok mereka strengthened the epitome of chenta tu buta dan tak mengenal rupa. Sebab I ni minat Silamajit lebih dari lakinya, maka opinion I dikala ittew yelah...oiii Silamajit, tak adakah yang lebih hensem sepadan dirimieww maka beruang ittew jua yang ko pilih?

Mengutuk Selanajis nampak..Makji? Well...seeing how beautiful Silamajit is, how on earth would you describe Selanajis? Errr...mengutuk itu adalah salah Makji...ianya menunjukkan betapa busuknya hati you. Ohh..iya ke? Kalau I kuat ngutuk makna nya hati I busuk lah ye?

Sebagai peminat tegar Silamajit, I followed her story front to back of every magazine I can get my fingers on. Silamajit was married to Selanajis on the Valentine's Day. One night...they were both interviewed by this radio dj sempena V Day. Err...this before the ho hum about how we Muslim tak boleh menyambut V Day ni. Laa...setakat sambut beli bunga untuk gf/bf, roSak la sangat aqidah kau kan, Dr Lurpak?

Selanajis dengan bongkaknya kata..he never gave Silamajit besday present, anniversary present and any other appreciative present for that matter. Katanya...which I think at that time is a statement cover malu yang ko tak pernah ingat date-date penting dalam rumahtangga mu itu, dia tak payah nak tunggu special dates gitu nak tunjukkan kasih sayang nya kat Silamajit, kalau dia nak tunjuk..hari2 pun dia boleh tunjuk. Masalahnya..hari2 biasa pun dia tak beli present, ko rasa dia akan tunggu anniversary day and V Day ke? Pan*** sangat statement nya. Serupalah macam orang yang bila I tanya..mana birthday present I, dia kata..present you I laa...hikhikhik. Korok mu lah!

Still, Silamajit macam sabar aje mukanya. Ala-ala...ohh dah lakiku perangai nya ghopa itu, apalah yang boleh ku buat selain dari bersabar aje dan meminta dgn Allah semoga dia jatuh terhantuk dan menjadi jantan gentleman. Gittewww doa.

Then...the perang. Mula2 Selanajis yang selalu keluar sokabar kata...we (as in dia dan anak2 dia) missed her. Balik la rumah something like that. He claimed he was diaibkan satu Malaya ---people were referring to the news of Silamajit caught him with the maid. Then keluar gambar Silamajit muka bengkak kena terajang dgn Selanajis. Next is court room drama. Ni cakap betul..my best fren was doing chambering and dia lah dok menglipurlara cerita Silamajit Selanajis kat I. Wahhh...katanya my fren..Selanajis refusing to divorce Silamajit, wanted a 2nd chance kononnya (Silamajit petitioning him for divorce) but at the same time, dia kata Silamajit macam2 depan Tuan Hakim tu. Silamajit perangai buruk, kuat minum..kurang ajar etc etc. Everything bad is Silamajit but not him.

Eventually......the court 'divorced' them. But my fren told me, Selanajis was seeing another woman while still fighting to save his marriage with Silamajit.

Okay lahhh....for all we know or we don't know, maybe Silamajit tu buruk perangainya...exactly as Selanajis described in court.

But....as a good husband, wouldn't it be your responsibility to make sure bad things in your marriage becomes well and good? If Silamajit was as bad as you described...don't you think it is partly your fault that you have let her be that 'bad'.

If Silamajit is bad...that warrant you to talk about her to Tuan Hakim all the gory details inclusive, lama-lama ni, apasal tak dibagi notice aje bini kau yang ko katakan teruk tu?

You let it run that long before you realised she is nothing but bad, bad and bad? What does that make you? Ke you like this other husband I know who buta-buta terima takdir dapat bini yang macam itu. Kalau pompuan yang cakap macam tu, boleh gak I nak percaya logik nya...ye lah..jantankan suka cakap kita pompuan ni bodoh? Ngikut hati..ngikut nafsu. Kena terajang dgn laki pun, laki tu jugak lah yang masih nak disimpan. Tu belum lagi kita nak kira berapa ramainya kita pompuan yang berchenta gaya online dengan Derick Hasslehoff dari USA yang hensem lagi ber sixpack dan mempunya bisnes minyak sendiri...tapi tetap gak mintak kita bail his business out. Nak sangat berchenta dgn Derick Hasslehoff kann...yang dapat? Derick Adebunmi yang bibir sama tebal dengan terompah Holland tu.

Okay..point I am making here is, when you get caught up...and not wanting to share some blame in your marriage troubles, is it fair to blame everything on the wife? Your wife may not be this muslimah sejati yang you dok idam-idam kan tu...but, have you ever given her your own specification of isteri mithali? Ye lah..lain jantan lain  specification ye tak? Ada jantan yg kata..ko masak basuh baju cuci lantai lantas kaulah pompuan mithali, ada pulak yg..whore me in bed baybehh...you will be my bini mithali as hell..and biarlah aku buat keroje rumah.

Ke you buat bodoh (or, ke you memang bodoh?!) dan diam2 berdoa supaya bini you bertukar menjadi Ustazah semanis kaya cap Nona tu?

Go figure lah ye.

I was told that...apa yang kita tulis melambangkan hati kita. Kalau kita tulis pasal orang dan cerita buruk orang itu, maka kita adalah manusia yang berhati busuk. Okaylah...if you read my blog, by now you should know and see how busuk my heart is. Well...that's your opinion lah. What can I do about it? Nothing.

So, journalist who wrote stories about bad people..or about plain people even...adalah berhati busuk jua, ye? So..pencerita hal buruk orang ialah manusia berhati busuk ye? I think kalau kita kerja HR dan membukak rahsia orang yang kita telah dipertanggungjawabkan untuk menjaga confidentiality nya kepada BFF kita, maka hati kita busuk lah juga, kan? Ke tak? Is it because the mileage of that cerita buruk only goes to us dan tak menjadi bahan blog. Kau bodoh ke apa?

I told Kiah that MC never talked bad about people. Infact, cakap pasal orang pun tak pernah unless kalau I yang tanya. Dia selalu tegur I..kenapa you suka cakap pasal orang? Tapi nak je I cakap..elehh, you dengar jugak kan..I kutuk2 orang pun.

It is normal when you sakit hati...you express your ketidakpuasan hati. We cant help it when our ketakpuasan hati is about other people. Ye lah...siapa lagi nak menyakitkan hati kita kalau bukan manusia lain? Kita sakit ati dgn kucing kita yang sokmo melepas takde adab pun, kira kita ngutuk jugak kann?

The good thing is always...kalau dgn orang tu yg kita marah, maka kita kenalah cakap terang2 kat dia. But more than often..benda yg kita tak puas hati tu benda kecik aje pun...so, knowing manusia ni manalah suka kena tegur dan dari benda kecik jadi gaduh satu keturunun, kita senyapkan aje, malas nak menyampai..kita tulislah dalam blog. Ye, satu dunia boleh baca...but dunia kenal ke orang yang dikutuk tu?

The rational of that is...kalaulah kita nak gunakan otak kita ni, kita tak puashati, kita luahkan. Tak dengan cara bercakap, kita menulis. Tu menunjukkan kita ni ada perasaan...and somewhere along the way, kita belajar manage perasaan kita tu. It is good to observe perangai buruk/baik orang lain...sebab kita boleh belajar.

I pun mengutuk orang jua...benda yang I rasa betul pun, though that shouldn't be the excuse but all in view jangan I jadi jahat macam tu, or gila macam tu. Dalam dunia ni..siapa yang tak ngutuk siapa weh?

You think..you tak pernah bercerita hal orang, ngutuk orang...you are better lah? You want to know what you are? You actually..takde hati..takde perasaan..which make you even worst. You know why worst? Without the hati and perasaan...you are the most selfish person. You don't blardy care how much you have hurt others. You have this idea how busuk hati buruk perangai of orang lain, you tak nampak benda yang sama dalam diri you sendiri.

Ohh..orang yang takde hati..takde perasaan ni, albeit takdelah ngutuk orang ( yelah..nak kutuk orang buat apa nya, bukannya you care about orang pun kann..thus gives you no reason to talk about others pun) sebenarnya..if you ask me...adalah orang yang sangat lah zalim.

So, which one we rather be? Busuk hati or zalim?


Sent from my iPad